Hangover and other secondary effects
by darkmoore05
Summary: After taking an antiflu potion and having a drink, Harry finds out that some dreams might have adverse effects. HPSS slash. Mpreg.
1. Dreams and adverse effects

Hangover and other secondary effects 

**Disclaimers:**  Not mine. The Harry Potter Universe belongs to J.K.Rowling. No money made, no harm intended. I just want to play with them.

This story is a present for my marvelous beta, Cassandra Pierson. Thank you for you patience and your encouragement. You are the best!

All mistakes in this story are entirely my fault. If you find one, you can keep it.****

Chapter 1: A Dream and Adverse Effects 

"Harry, are you sure you don't want Poppy to have a look at you?" Hermione asked her best friend the moment he returned from the bathroom. His skin looked greenish-pale and he had dark circles under his eyes. Walking over to the table on shaking legs and holding his stomach, he answered through gritted teeth: "No, thank you Hermione. That is not necessary. During the last months I have spent enough time in the infirmary to last my whole life. _Thank you very much._" He closed his eyes as another wave of nausea hit him.

"Really, Harry, Hermione is right. You should let someone check on you. Something's wrong with you. This is the third time you threw up right after breakfast and you did not look too good yesterday evening at dinner either." Ron stated.

Harry and Hermione were staying at the Burrow over the summer, before Hermione would go studying at the University, Ron would join his father at the Ministry of Magic ad Harry would be teaching DADA lessons at Hogwarts. The Dark Lord had been defeated four weeks ago, only a few days before terms end. The battles had been hard and the price high, but now the wizarding world was freed. And the 'boy who lived' was finally starting a new life.

Well, right now he only felt miserable. Opening his eyes slowly he shot the redhead an impatient look. "I knew you two would gang up against me one day," he murmured. At that comment Ron smiled broadly and teased: "Oh, c'mon, Harry, that has nothing to do with her being my girlfriend and you know it. We are _worried_ about you. No big deal."

"Exactly, Harry." Hermione confirmed. "We would not want you to get really sick, now that you are free to live your life as you wish. And besides that it is not fair to Molly either. She will be really upset when she recognizes you are sick and did not tell her or get help." Ron nodded his agreement. He knew his mother all too well when it came to that. Once, when his brother Bill had visited with his pregnant wife and she had suffered from morning-sickness….

Ron burst out in laughter and gasped: "If I didn't know for sure that you are not dating anyone right now, one could think you are pregnant." When Harry paled even more for a second, Ron earned an angry look from his girlfriend. But then, Harry's facial expression changed again and he snarled: "Oh, _please,_ Ron. You might not have realized it but I am _male._ And as far as I know, men don't get pregnant."

"Well, that is not correct." Hermione instantly skipped into full lecturing mode. "For Muggle men it is indeed impossible to conceive a child, but _you _are a wizard, therefore you can be impregnated by another wizard with equally strong o stronger magical abilities."

Harry stared at her in pure disbelief. The blood rushed in his ears and he recalled what he had considered a dream.

**Flashback: almost four weeks ago.**

Harry stumbled and grabbed the door handle of one of Hogwarts' guestrooms. Though he was supposed to sleep at the Gryffindor tower one last time – his graduation had been two days ago – he was sure he would not make it up there. He felt too sick.

_Maybe I shouldn't have taken that anti-flu potion earlier. I doesn't seem to match with the drink I had. _Harry thought as he entered the poorly lit room on shaking legs. He felt dizzy and the room began to spin around him.

With trembling fingers he took out his wand and cast a locking spell, then sat down on the bed to take off his robes and glasses. He hoped no one would miss him at this feast. After all they were celebrating their victory over Voldemort. But then again, he had told Hermione earlier, that he was planning on not staying too long, for he felt like getting the flu. Then he had taken a potion and now he felt worse. Damn drink, whatever it had been. He should have been wiser than to drink anything he did not know what it was. But they had shoved that glass into his hand and then toasts had followed and then…..

Sighing with relief Harry lay down in the comfortable bed. He was asleep the moment his head touched the pillow.

Harry had a wonderful dream. Someone was speaking to him lovingly. Gentle, cool fingers were touching his heated skin. Stroking him, caressing him, arousing him. Soft lips were ghosting over his eyelids, tracing feathery kisses down his throat. It was incredible. He felt loved and wanted. And in a weird sort of way…protected. It was everything he had ever wanted.

But, hey, this was a dream, and he could get anything he wished for.

The figure that had caressed him earlier now lay down beside him, skin on skin. Oh, it felt so good. Murmuring sweet endearments to his dream-lover, Harry began to trace his fingers over the beautiful body at his side. He had never had such a vivid dream before. But it felt too good to miss. So he gave himself willingly over to his lover, arching into his touch. Feeling nothing but pleasure…

Harry woke the next morning, alone in the unfamiliar bed, with a bad headache, but a smile on his face. What an amazing dream.

Coming back to the present, Harry let out a scared gasp. Oh Merlin, what if that hadn't been a dream? He could be pregnant from someone he did not even know!

Ron and Hermione, who began to realize that Harry had not only been totally unaware of male pregnancy, but seemed to be also really upset about it, looked at him in horror. "Harry!

Tell me you did not have unprotected sex with another wizard." Hermione yelled loud enough for Molly to hear, so Ron hastily poked her in the ribs. "'Mione, be quiet! We don't need the whole family to hear this," he hissed.

"But Ron… " Hermione protested. "Harry looks like it is possible that he could _be_ pregnant. And he didn't even tell us he was dating someone. We could have warned him. Not that I would have thought that he didn't know about male pregnancy, after living in the wizarding world for seven years now. I told you to read more – both of you." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned again to face her best friend.

Harry felt numb. Hermione's and Ron's voices seemed to come from far away. That could not be truly happening. That had to be a dream. Yes, another awful nightmare. Nothing more. Nothing to worry about. Everything would be fine as soon as he woke up. He was not carrying the child of a man, he did not even know. He had not slept with a total stranger, in a guestroom he had thought was available.

Well, obviously the room he had used to lie down, had been set up for someone else. And that someone had taken advantage of the situation, for sure realizing that it was Harry Potter, he was lying in bed with. Oh, good Lord, he had allowed to be touched by some party guest who was probably showing off by now, telling the whole world he had gotten his hands on 'famous Harry Potter, savior of the wizarding world'. Damn his 'fame' and damn his stupidity.

"Harry!" Struggling free of his disorientation, Harry realized that Hermione was kneeling in front of him and was shaking him slightly to get his attention. Finally managing to focus on her, Harry murmured: "Yeah?"

"Don't do that again, mate, you scared the hell out of us." Ron stated from behind her. "You looked like you were going to faint. You really shouldn't do that to us." "Well, I'm sorry, man." Harry managed to get out, still being somewhat distracted.

Hermione got up from the floor and sat on a chair at Harry's site. Her voice was soft, as she asked him: "So Harry, is it possible that you are pregnant? And if it is possible, who is the father and why didn't you tell us about him?"

Trying to stay calm but failing miserably, Harry answered: "I think it is possible…" he broke off, tears steaming down his cheeks. "And if I am really pregnant… then I don't know who the other father is." He started to sob heavily, as he saw the shocked expression on Hermione's face. "I thought I was dreaming. I had taken that anti-flu potion and at the party someone gave me a drink… I felt so sick…" he broke off again, his breath uneven.

"Ok, Harry, I'd say before you start to panic, we should go upstairs where you can lay down a bit. While you rest I will look up a simple spell for a pregnancy test and then we will see if it was worth all these tears of yours. And after that you will tell us exactly what you still remember of what has happened that night and then we will decide what to do next. You will see, everything is going to be alright."

Rubbing soothing circles on the small of his back, she guided him up the stairs, followed by a still stunned Ronald Weasley.

Forty-five minutes later, they were not only sure that Harry was indeed pregnant, he was also crying again, after he had told his best friends of what he had considered a dream.

"But it shouldn't be that difficult to find out who was supposed to stay in that room for the night. We could just go and ask Dumbledore. I'm sure he still…" "NO!" Ron's little speech was interrupted by Harry's frantic outburst. "I don't want anyone a the school to know."  But Hermione took hold of Harry's hand and argued: "Harry, don't be childish. You agreed to teach the DADA class next term. Did you already forget that? You will have to tell Dumbledore anyways, sooner or later. Not to mention the fact that, if you are not planning on hiding yourself under a concealing charm for some time, soon, everyone will be able to _see_ it"

At that Harry started to cry again, uttering between some more sobs: "Now I will never get the chance to find out… " his voice dying down to a whisper. "Now I will never get the chance to convince him … "

"Who, Harry?" Hermione questioned in a comforting voice. "Who is it that you want to be with? Who is it you wanted to convince to give it a try?"

Taking a deep breath, the expression on his face almost catatonic, Harry whispered a single, barely audible, word: "Severus."

But Ron had heard it though. "Severus? Like in 'Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master' That ever sarcastic, taking house points, giving detention, making our lives miserable, Severus Snape?" he yelled.

"Ronald Weasley, shut up, before I gag you. And the next time you decide on yelling at Harry, I highly suggest you _think _before you speak." If looks could kill, Ron would have been dead by now. Hermione's eyes were shooting fire.

Turning his head towards his friend in a movement that looked like slow-motion, Harry spoke again: " Yes Ron, I know it sounds strange. But I had time to get to know him a little and… " his eyes clouded even more, a blank expression plastered on his face, " I found out that he is not so bad a person at all. And his company can be really pleasant at times…."

Both of his closest friends looked at him in surprise.


	2. Presents

Chapter 2: Presents 

Severus Snape sighed in frustration. Even after four weeks of thinking about it, it still didn't make any sense.

For maybe the thousandths time in only a few days, the potions master opened the small velvet box Harry had given to him. It contained a beautiful worked, sliver clasp. The curled serpent it showed was neatly elaborated, the head of the snake decorated with two emeralds that represented the eyes. It was obvious that this was a masterpiece and undoubtedly worth a little fortune.

Snape had no idea what to think of this present. Receiving something so personal had hit him quite unexpected. Harry had spoken in riddles and Severus doubted that he would ever be able to imagine what was going on in this boy's head.

_Not exactly a boy any more._ Snape thought and felt an unwelcome heat well up in his body as he remembered the night they had spent together. Another surprise. To say that he had been totally shocked to see that beautiful, enticing wizard lying in his bed at his temporary quarters would be an understatement.

_This_ was definitely _not _what he had expected, when Harry had told him he wanted to give him a present 'in private'.

_"Professor, um… I would like to give you a present. But later, in private."_ The rescuer of the wizarding world had stated, an unfamiliar shy smile plastered on his face. Trying to look not too surprised, Snape had told him. _"Presents are not necessary, Harry, but if you wish to do so, feel free to visit me at my temporary quarters in the guestroom area. The dungeons are not habitable right now, for a cauldron…" _he had broken off, confused by the funny look on the younger mans face. Something between distraction, pain and dizziness.

_"Harry, are you sure you are alright?" _The Potions Master had then asked him worriedly, but the boy had run both of his hands through his tousled hair and ensured him:_" Yes, Professor, I'm fine. Just a little bit tired. Too many people too soon and too close for my taste. I guess, I'll just go and get some rest, soon."_

With that he had left without looking back and Snape had not been sure Harry had even _realized_ he had been told not to go to the dungeons.

Well, obviously Harry had not been distracted at all, for he found the young man sleeping in his borrowed bed a few hours later. Only wearing black silk boxers, and a little smile upon his youthful face.

And that would explain why he had found his quarters sealed by a – surprisingly strong –locking charm. One of his own favorites, in fact.  If someone had found that boy like this, it would have been a lucky day for every gossip-seeking reporter out there. 

Closing the little velvet box carefully, Severus' thoughts kept wandering back to that special night.

Flashback: almost four weeks ago – Severus' POV

Sighing with relief, Severus Snape made his way to his temporary quarters. He was tired and  a little worried about Harry. The boy had acted strange at times. But maybe it had really been only the exhaustion after the last few days and the stress of once again all that attention. He knew Harry hated it.

Finally reaching the right door, Severus Snape found his quarters sealed with an unexpected strong locking spell. Not that he could not undo it, - it was one of his favorites – but he wondered why someone would make the afford so seal his almost empty quarters.

Surely no one expected the guests to sneak around in here?

Dismissing that thought as totally unimportant, he cast the proper unlocking spell and entered the room.

It was like he had demanded it, not lit very brightly, for he didn't like it that way. His dungeons were never lit bright as day. Nor should his temporary quarters be.

Closing the door behind him, he took out his wand and put up the charm again. Then Severus began to open the clasp of his dark green robes and stepped closer to the bed. He froze, as he took in the sight of a person, lying in his bed.   
  
Startled, Snape realized that it was Harry, who was lying there, entangled in the sheets and sleeping peacefully. He stepped to the bed, determined to get answers. What kind of childish prank was this supposed to be?   
  
As he leaned down to wake up the boy, he hesitated, taking in the look of the sleeping figure. Black, messy hair was standing up endearingly in places, long, dark lashes were throwing shadows on a relaxed, youthful face. The blanket, pushed down almost to his hips revealed a well defined chest. A weird feeling started to build up in Severus' stomach. Surprised he identified it as desire.

Pushing aside his improper thoughts, Snape touched Harry's shoulder to wake him up. Unfortunately, the feel of warm, smooth skin under his fingers didn't make his task any easier. He had to will himself not to make this a caress.

The young man shifted in his sleep, involuntary arching into Severus' touch. "Harry, wake up, please!" His voice sounded softer than intended. But the boy wouldn't wake. Tightening his grip on that beautiful tanned skin, he tried again: "Harry, wake up. I need to talk to you."

It seemed that he had been more successful this time, because the heavy lids started to flutter, revealing a bit of green eyes. Good, we was waking up.

Just as Severus was about to withdraw his fingers form that enticing skin, he felt a strong hand tightening around his wrist, holding his hand in place. "Mmmmh. That felt wonderful." Harry murmured sleepily. "More please."

_He doesn't know what he is doing. He is still half asleep. _Snape thought and tried to loosen the grip of Harry's hand. With no success. Playing Quidditch for seven years had done quite a bit to strengthen this grip, not only on a broom or the snitch.

Snape gasped as he felt a second had reaching out for him, sliding warm fingers in his hair and pulling him close. Harry's eyes were clouded, his pupils dilated by the darkness of the room and – maybe – desire, as he pulled his ex-professor down for a kiss.

Startled, Severus parted his lips, as he felt the tip of the younger man's tongue caress him. Suddenly he felt like a teenager with raging hormones, his knees went weak and he was almost instantly very aroused. The kiss of this gorgeous man was tearing down all his defensive walls and getting straight under his skin. Carefully he detached himself from those soft lips, ignoring the small sound of protest, the other man made.

This was crazy. It could not possibly be, that Harry really wanted _him_, of all people. Why would he? He was Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived, recently turned into the man-who-had-saved-us-all. Men and woman alike were almost throwing themselves at him, begging to be noticed by the hero of the wizarding world. He could have everyone, so why would he choose his greasy old Potions Master, if not for making fun of him.

Severus needed to be sure. He needed to hear it from the boy himself that this was no sick joke. Though he could not imagine Harry being that cruel. So he took the young man's face in his hands, stroking his right cheek slowly with his thump. " Harry, look at me," he requested. Obediently, the youth opened his eyes a little, gazing up right into his ex-teacher's face. Severus' heart missed a beat. Taking a deep breath, he asked, "What kind of game are you playing?"

"No game." Harry whispered, never taking his eyes of the other man's face.

Snape, who felt his control slipping rapidly, finally managed to say, disbelief clearly audible in his trembling voice "So you are sure? This is really what you want? _I _am what you want?"

And that wonderful man in his bed smiled and told him, "Yes, I am sure. You are all I ever wanted," before sealing his lips with another passionate kiss.

Snape was lost. When he eventually pulled away from Harry, both their  breathings were labored. Giving into temptation, Severus trailed his fingers down the silken skin of Harry's chest. The young man moaned in pleasure and once again arched into his touch. Amazed by how strong the young Gryffindor reacted to his caresses, the Potions Master began to plant feathery kisses on Harry's eyelids, his face and down his throat.

Trailing down his lips over that enticing tanned chest, the older man followed the thin dark line of hair that disappeared in black silk boxers, plunging his tongue into the cave of Harry's navel in process. That beautiful body writhed with pleasure under his administrations and…

"Enough!"  Pulling himself out of that arousing memory, the Potions Master strode through his rooms in wide, angry paces. "Damn, you, Potter and damn my foolish lack of self-control!"

He did not want to remember. Did not want to be haunted by dreams in which he all saw it again. Heard it again, felt it again. How touch-starved that youth had been, reacting highly sensible to every caress. That little moans and encouraging noises he had made when he had sucked his gorgeous cock. The way he had felt under him, matching his thrusts, trying to get him closer. The look upon his face when he had reached climax.

And the way he had reacted the next day.

Maybe he should not have left before Harry had woken. But at this time he had not felt like he could go through a 'morning after' disaster. So he had kissed Harry one last time, and left before dawn.

He had met the young Gryffindor a few hours later, - he had avoided seeing him in the great hall by canceling breakfast - mere minutes before the students were about to leave. Somehow Harry had managed to stay behind and tug Severus to a somewhat quiet corner. With a puzzled look upon his face, he had produced a small velvet box out of the depths of his school robes. Handing it over to him he had murmured: "I…I forgot to give you the present, yesterday," shifting his weight uncomfortably from one leg to another.

The Potions Master had been confused. "Excuse me?" he had asked, a bewildered look spreading across his face.

Harry blushed and his voice was barely audible as he started to explain: "The present I promised you? The one I wanted to give you in private? I am sorry I didn't make it yesterday…" he broke off, uncertain how to react to that look upon Severus' face. As his ex-professor did not respond, he stepped away, heading for the door, stammering: "Well, I think I'd better go now. I don't want to miss the train. I guess I will see you in two months at the staff meeting then. Goodbye…. Professor."

And he was gone.


	3. Truths

Chapter 3: Truths 

"Harry, be rational. You need to see a medi-witch to be sure everything is alright. You wouldn't want to endanger your child, would you? And you _definitely_ need to get something that takes care of your morning sickness." Hermione's voice was soft, like she was speaking to a child. She suppressed a sigh as she saw the stubborn look upon Harry's face.

"No," was all Harry had to say, crossing his arms in front of his chest. But Hermione did not give up. She just kept sitting there, beside him on the bed, never taking her eyes off him.

Ron, on the other hand, was not so patient. Harry's childish behavior made him furious. He stopped pacing through the room and yelled, "Stop acting like a complete moron, Harry. First, you mix anti-flu potion with alcohol and are surprised to get sick – though you should know better. Then, you manage to get yourself pregnant from a total stranger. Next you tell us you want to be with a greasy git like _Snape_; and now you jeopardize your health by acting like a stubborn three-year-old. What's wrong with you, mate?"

Before Hermione could react, Harry sat up in the bed, shooting angry looks at Ron. "You want to know what's wrong with me?" he shouted back, his hands clenched into fists. "I'll tell you what's wrong with me. My whole life I have done what others expected me to do: I have fought Voldemort. My 'mission in life', since I received that damn scar. Do you think it is fun to be the personal enemy of the worst dark wizard existing? In case you don't know, I'll tell you: No, it is not. And then, after I have fulfilled my duties, completed my task and destroyed him; after people _died_ on the battlefield and I once again lived, there is this huge _celebration_." Harry's voice was dripping with sarcasm, only his slightly trembling lower lip indicating how hurt he really was.

Taking a deep breath he continued, talking more to himself than to his friends, "I didn't want to go there. I didn't want them to glare at me like I'm a rare animal at the zoo, or a trophy, worthy to win. I felt sick and I only wanted to be left alone. But hey, who cares what I want, right?" he sounded so defeated now that Hermione felt like crying. She reached out to touch him, but he would not let her. Instead he began wandering around the room.

"'You _have_ to participate, Harry. You defeated Voldemort. You saved us. People want to thank you for that. For sure you would not want to let them down, would you?'" Harry mimicked, sounding terrifyingly like McGonagall. "So I took an anti-flu potion, told myself this would be the last time I would have to do such a thing and hoped it would be over, soon. And when I began to feel worse that night, I searched for a place to lie down. I hoped for nothing more than for a few hours of sleep. How foolish of me to hope my life could be normal, for a change. Because _then_," Harry's voice grew louder again and he was facing Ron now, "then, stupid Muggle-raised Potter managed to get himself impregnated by a total stranger. Oops! Who would have thought men could get pregnant? Not me, for sure!" His voice had gained in volume during his outburst until he was yelling at Ron. Channeling his fury into another, more physical form he picked up a pillow from the bed and threw it at the nearest wall. He needed to control his anger, or he would lose the grip on his magic once again.

His two best friends looked horrified.

Then, as if he had suddenly lost all his energy, Harry collapsed on the bed, crying. Between two sobs he managed to say: "Don't you understand? I don't want to be pregnant. And I don't want to be a single father. Now Severus will never want me. Merlin, I am _17_! All I wanted was to teach, to find someone to love and to live my life in peace. Is that such an unusual wish to ask for?"

"No," Hermione reassured him, hugging the shaking figure tightly, "that is perfectly normal. And you would have deserved it. But denying the facts will not change them, I'm afraid. You will have to carry this child to terms, Harry, unless you decide on…" she broke off, not wanting to say it.

But Harry understood what she meant. He looked at her in horror and shook his head, stating: "No. I'm going to have this baby. I will not kill my child. I made a promise to myself that never again anyone will have to die because of me. Not if I can prevent it.

Hermione smiled at his words and Ron, who had been watching this whole scene silently, said, "Well, I guess we should go and pay Poppy a visit, then."

About thirty minutes later, the three of them were entering the hospital wing at Hogwarts. They had apparated to Hogsmeade and then walked up slowly to the castle, not wanting to stress Harry in any way. He had upset himself enough for one day.

When Poppy Pomfrey saw them coming, she looked delighted. "Harry, Ron, Hermione! What a nice surprise. What brings you here at the holidays? Visiting Hagrid?" She asked cheeringly. Then she took in the sight of a tired looking Harry, and her tone grew serious, "Harry, dear, what's the matter with you? Do you want to lie down? You look like fainting," the medi-witch stated and grabbed his arm to keep him from falling.

"Yes, please." Harry answered in a weak voice, as the room began to spin around him. Seconds later he sighed with relief as he found himself lying in one of the infirmary beds.

Deciding to give him some time to recover, Poppy took out her wand and turned to her other guests, "I think you owe me an explanation. Why are you here and why is Harry looking like he's got the flu?"

Ron wanted to reply something, but Hermione poked him in the rips. "Sorry, but it is not our place to tell, what happened to Harry." She answered apologetically.

"Fine, so I will have to ask him then." The medi-witch was definitely annoyed. She turned back to the dark haired man lying on the clean sheets, his skin almost as white as the pillow. "Ok, Harry. I'll quickly check you through and then…" she started, but got interrupted by an energetic: "No, don't!" from the young wizard. Gazing down at him suspiciously, Poppy asked, "Harry Potter, what is this all about? Don't be childish; you spent more time in here than every other student, in a long time. So, tell my what brings you here, this time?"

Swallowing hard and then sitting up slowly, Harry gathered all his courage and looked into the medi-witch's eyes. "I need to be sure that you will keep everything I am going to tell you secret. You have no permission to let anyone know what the results of these tests are. If you don't agree, I'll go find someone else. " Harry's voice left not doubts about him being serious.

"Of course, I will keep your results under lock and key if you wish so." The elderly witch sounded definitely offended. "Are you now going to tell me, what this secretive behavior is all about?"

With one last deep breath Harry answered, "I'm afraid, I'm pregnant!"


	4. Frustrated

Chapter 4: Frustrated 

Silence fell over the room, after Harry's statement. Pressing her lips together tightly in a sign of disapproval, Poppy then raised her wand and cast a spell on Harry. It was similar to the one Hermione had performed earlier, and the result was – of course – the same. Harry was pregnant.

Although Harry had told her of his condition, the medi-witch looked slightly shocked. Hermione and Ron knew better than to utter a single word. Poppy then did a complete check-up on him and when she was done, she announced, "You have anemia, need vitamins and you don't weigh enough. I get it you have experienced morning sickness?" Her tone was close to being harsh and so Harry only nodded.

At this the elderly witch turned and went to a store board, where she took down some vials. Showing them to Harry one by one, she explained, "This one will take care of the anemia. This one has got vitamins and is highly nourishing, and this one…" she shoved the last vial into his hands, "will stop the nausea. I will get some more of it for you later. Drink this first, because most certain the others won't stay down, otherwise."

Harry did as he was told, swallowing the potion obediently. "Good. Wait a few minutes for the potion to work, then drink the others. I will have a house elf bring you something to eat. You will have to stay the night, so I will inform the headmaster that you have caught a harmless 'stomach-bug.'" She stressed the last word painfully, making her point clear.

Half way to the door, she stopped, turning around to face him again. "How could you, Harry?" She asked then. "How could you be so careless and get pregnant, when every first-year is able to brew a potion to prevent that? I would have thought that you, of all people, would not want any new responsibilities."

"Maybe, because I didn't even _know_ men could get pregnant." Harry replied in a sarcastic tone. His anger was rising again. Poppy looked totally shocked. "But your partner surely must have known." She argued helplessly, not wanting to admit that this was something Harry should have been taught at this school. "And who is the other father, by the way? Did you already tell him?"

Harry sighed and explained," I don't know who the other father is. It happened the night of the party. I had taken an anti-flu potion and someone gave me a drink. I got sick and used one of the guestrooms to lie down, because I couldn't make it up to the dormitory. I spelled the door, took of my clothes and glasses and went to bed. Someone must have found me like that, because I thought I had a really vivid dream. I have honestly no clue who in Merlin's name shagged me that night, ok? I wouldn't have known even if my head had been clear. I did not wear my glasses. And now, I would prefer not to talk about it any more."

If the medi-witch had looked shocked before, now she looked totally horrified. "Harry, so you tell me this child is a product of sexual abuse? Of rape?" She asked.

Hermione and Ron gasped at that word, Harry paled even more. "No!" He yelled. "No one raped me. I told you I thought I had a dream. It actually felt good,….for a dream. I think I even told him, I liked it." The last words sounded definitely guilty.

"Harry," Poppy's tone went soft. "It doesn't matter if you told him you like it. You had been sleeping in a spelled room, and you were drugged. Whoever did this to you has taken advantage of the situation. It is not your fault. Though I have to say, you should have known potions and alcohol do not go together at all." Poppy paused for a second then added a soft, "Rest now." She sighed, cutting off any protest from his side. "Hermione, Ron, please leave now. You can pick him up tomorrow morning." With that she left the infirmary, taking Harry's two best friends with her.

Severus Snape turned around in his bed once more, trying to find a more comfortable position. With no success. It was past midnight and he had tried to get to sleep for quite some time now. Problem was, since that night with Potter, he was horny like hell and even cold showers didn't solve his problem any more. This was so ridiculous. His self-control was practically non existent.

Reaching down between his legs, he touched his almost painful erection. With a barely suppressed moan, he began to slowly stroke his throbbing cock, running his thumb over the sensitive tip, imagining it would be Harry who touched him. Pictures came back to him, from that night, once again.

How the youth had arched his back, when he had touched his inner thigh. His scent surrounding him, when he had run his tongue up that beautiful shaft, sucking at the head that was glistening with pre-cum. The way he had tasted when he had taken him down his throat. The little ecstatic noises he had made. And even better, the way he had put his strong, muscular legs around him, crossing them at his back, taking him closer.

Murmuring a lubrication spell, Snape gripped his cock more tightly and sped up his movements. He recalled the moment he had entered the younger wizard. How hot he had been, how tight. That feeing alone had almost sent him over the edge. Eventually he had started to move and the throaty moans and the look of pure pleasure upon Harry's face had aroused him even more. He had not thought that this was possible.

They had not lasted long. Harry, already close to climax, had only needed a few thrusts brushing over his prostate to totally lose control. The contraction of his muscles had been Severus' undoing. Pounding into him, one last time, he had filled the heated body beneath him with his seed.

His heart was racing and he felt sated and happy until he opened his eyes and realized it had all been his mind. Harry was not there with him. He was alone. But worst of all, he felt lonely. That was something he had not felt for quite some time. And he did not like it the slightest bit.

Severus sighed and uttered a quick cleansing spell; still not sure he would now be able to sleep.

Harry had finally fallen asleep. Thanks to the potion, he had been able to keep dinner down, feeling totally exhausted after this eventful day. But his subconscious stayed with the subject: the night he had gotten pregnant. The mysterious man who had taken advantage of him. His mind tried hard to recall him, but there was nothing. The face of the person who had touched him that night, stayed in the dark.

The voice was not recognizable, either. His fogged brain had changed it into something surreal. Yet that voice had held passion and kindness. A strange mixture of desire and protectiveness. If only he could see who this was, who was treating him with so much care.

Shifting restless in his sleep, Harry got even more entangled into the sheets. His brain was working overtime; trying to cope with all the information it had gained today.

_Pregnant, men could get pregnant ... no dream, it had been real. He was pregnant. From someone he did not know. Poppy had called it abuse. No! Not abused. I am not abused. Not abused. Not abused. It had felt good. I felt protected. I felt wanted. Not abused. _

_A single father. Everyone at the school will know. They will make fun of me. The press will get to know. Albus will get to know. Severus will get to know. Severus will never want me. Severus will not want me, carrying a child of a stranger. He is not fond of children. He does not enjoy teaching them. He will never accept the child of a stranger._

_MY child. My child will love me. My child. I will have a child. I will raise it. I will love it. I will love it with all my heart. It will feel loved. It will know it is loved. And wanted. I want this child. It is my child. Mine alone_.

That last thought seemed to soothe something inside him and Harry finally sank into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

"Headmaster?" Potions Master Severus Snape almost ran into Albus Dumbledore the next morning. Surprisingly, the older wizard seemed to be on the way to the infirmary, too.

"Ah, Severus, my boy." The headmaster smiled, his eyes twinkling behind the half-moon glasses. "Beautiful, morning, don't you think?" he asked grinning like a moron.

The Potions Master left that question unanswered. He was in a bad mood; he did not sleep too well the last time. "May I ask what brings you here this early, headmaster?" Snape asked instead.

"Of course, Severus. I will tell you. Poppy informed me that Mr. Potter has caught a harmless but annoyingly persistent 'stomach-bug', how she put it so nicely. He stayed the night at the infirmary but will leave soon. I thought it would be nice to say hello." Albus blinked innocently. Snape froze. Harry was here. He was in the infirmary. "And you Severus? Why are you on your way to the hospital-wing?" he heard the older wizard ask.

"Madame Pomfrey asked me to prepare her some anti-nausea potions. I get it they are designed for Mr. Potter, then." Snape answered truthfully. His thoughts were still at the fact that Harry was here. Maybe he could talk to him for a minute. He could ask some questions, he had a chance to get to know what this present and the night were supposed to be.

The headmaster smiled at him, still. "Well, then I think we should not let the two of them wait, should we?" He announced and continued to walk down the way to the infirmary.

A/N: Like it? Hate it? Please let me know!


	5. Selfreproach

Chapter 5: Self-reproach 

"Professor Dumbledore! Professor Snape!" Harry was sitting in his bed in the infirmary and looked at his two visitors rather shocked. Had Poppy told them? Had she broken her vow to keep silent? Were they here to censure him for getting pregnant? And if the headmaster knew of his pregnancy, would he still want him to teach the DADA classes?

It had been hard to admit it to himself, but Harry had been incredible relieved when Albus Dumbledore had offered him this teaching position. Not only had he had no idea what he wanted to do after school – he had never expected to survive this war – he also did not want to leave what he had considered home. Harry hoped Albus would not take that away from him now. He was not sure if he could stand it.

Telling himself to stay calm, he forced a little smile on his face and turned his full attention to the two men at his bedside. His heart ached as he took in the sight of Severus' elegant figure in the black robes. The man he had wanted for so long. The man, he had lost before had gotten a chance to have him. If only he had refused that damn drink. Then he would have not gotten sick and there would have been no need to lie down in the guestroom. Then he would still have the chance to win Severus' heart. It was entirely his own fault.

Relieved, Harry noticed that the two older wizards did not look angry or disappointed in any way. So Poppy had not told them.

The headmaster was the first one to speak. "Harry, my dear boy. How are you feeling? How perspective of you to come here, when you could not get rid of that sickness by yourself. I would not want any of my Professors to be sick at the terms start. And if I understood Poppy correctly, this infection seems to be rather persistent."

Before Harry could reply anything, the Potions Master spoke up. "If you two excuse me for a moment, I will bring Madame Pomfrey the potions she ordered. Mr. Potter, I would like to have a word with you in private, later." With that he left to find the medi-witch. Harry followed him with his eyes as he disappeared.

After a moment Harry realized that he had not given an answer to the headmaster, who was still standing beside his bed. "Um ... I feel much better, thanks to the Potions Madame Pomfrey gave me. She told me it will take some time though, until the nausea will be gone completely. But after that I will be fine." He announced, hoping the older wizard would not be suspicious.

He was lucky. Albus smiled at him happily, his blue eyes twinkling behind his glasses. "I am glad to hear that, Harry. Very glad indeed. I hope you will have wonderful holidays in Miss Granger's and Mr. Weasley's company. I hear you are all staying with the Weasley family over the summer." Out of the corner of his eyes Harry could see Severus returning. "Well, my boy, I will go and have a chat with Poppy, so Severus can talk to you. I will see you at the staff meeting then." With that the older wizard left, giving the Potions master a chance to have a seat at the chair beside Harry's bed.

"What do you wish to talk about, sir?" Harry asked and thought he saw the other man wince slightly at the formal phrase. During the war they had been working together closely and it had been 'Severus' and 'Harry' for quite a while now.

"You have some explaining to do about that present of yours, Harry," Snape answered and the younger man blushed slightly.

"I am sorry about that, sir. I know I should have not given it to you where everyone could have seen us. I am sorry if you felt embarrassed. But I wanted you to have it, before I leave. I wanted to thank you, for everything you have done for me. I had planned to give it to you in your private quarters after the celebration, but I didn't make it there. I was too sick. I didn't even make it to my dorm." Harry smiled at his ex-professor apologetically.

Now Severus was _really_ confused. What was this boy talking about? 'I didn't make it there'. He had been at his quarters that night, no use in denying it. Was this Harry's way to tell him he would like to forget what had happened that night? That he regretted it? And what was this prattling of being sick? Was that a childish attempt to excuse that he had told him, that he wanted him? Snape did not know, but he wanted to find it out. "Excuse me, Harry, but what do you mean, you were 'sick'?"

"Yes erm…." Harry stammered, "I did something incredible stupid. I had taken some anti-flu potion that night before the party began and then someone gave me a drink. I know I should not have taken it, but I did. And then I got sick. Merlin, I was totally out of it. The room was spinning, the light hurt my eyes, my head felt like someone had put cotton wool in it and my stomach felt like I was going to throw up. I can't remember much of that evening, just that I got to lie down in a guestroom, because that is where I woke the next morning." Harry did of course not mention his 'late night visitor'.

As the words sank in, Severus felt like someone had slapped his face. That could not be true. That had to be a sick joke. He had not slept with a helpless, drugged man, who was totally unaware of what was going on. That was impossible. But then the Potions Master remembered something. A little, sickening detail that he had misinterpreted. One of many others, but maybe the most important. Harry's eyes. That dilated pupils. So huge that the green of his iris had barely been visible. And they had not changed. They had been the same no matter if his eyes were half closed or wide open. It had not been desire. It had been drugs!

Harry watched the older wizard carefully. Something was going on in his head he could not tell what. Snape had a really weird expression on his face. Something akin to shock. Was he disappointed that he had been so careless? Had he guessed that this present had been so much more than a simple 'thank you'? That it had been a gift to someone he had fallen for? Something personal, something special.

But now, everything was different. A single night had destroyed all his hopes and plans for a life at his site.

Forcing a smile on his face Harry knew he had to complete his plan to bring more distance between the two of them. If only Severus would stop calling him by his given name. He could not stand it any more. It made him remember what he would never have. "I am sorry if I have disappointed you, Professor Snape," the young man stated defensively. "It seems that I can never life up to the standards everyone expects me to fulfill. I am a helpless case."

_So now we are back to 'Professor Snape'_ Severus thought. He felt a wave of sadness and helplessness well up in him. Everything had been a mistake. Harry was further away than ever. Maybe his subconscious was aware of what he had done and was repulsed by it. _I should have known it was not for real_ Snape cursed himself and guilt burned in his chest. He got up of his chair. This was beginning to be a torture. Giving Harry a insignificant smile he answered, "Don't be foolish, Mr. Potter. You are the savior of the wizarding world, who would blame you for such a trifle? I will leave now, for I have things to take care of. Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger will be here every minute, I believe. Thank you for the present, I appreciate it. I will see you at the staff meeting then, Professor Potter. Have a pleasant day."

Sitting in his hospital-bed, Harry watched the other wizard leave. Tears were welling up in his eyes and he tried to suppress them. He did not want to be seen by Poppy, like that. But the loss of the man he loved burned so painful in his chest that even squeezing his eyelids shut did not help. After a few deep breaths he quickly wiped his eyes and got out of the bed to dress for leaving. All he wanted was to get out of here.

ooOoo

The first staff meeting came and everything went fine. The other professors gave him a warm welcome and Harry was offered a lot of help, which he gladly accepted. He would not have managed with the content of the curriculum and the timetables and would have been hopelessly confused in no time. This took some getting used to. It was after all teaching and not simply using his Defense Against the Dark Arts knowledge.

His pregnancy was a completely different business. Harry began to enjoy it. Poppy checked on him regularly and he was very relieved when the medi-witch told him his baby was in perfect health. One day she handed him an enchanted, moving picture of his child, telling him he was going to have a daughter. Harry cried, totally awed by the new life growing inside him. She was his own little miracle.

And then there was this one thing that would not stop hurting. The loss of Severus Snape. Harry barely talked to him a private word and the Potions Master never searched his company. He did not snarl at him either, he was polite and controlled. But there was a look in the older man's eyes at made Harry feel like dying. It was as if the closeness between the two of them never had existed.

Time moved on and Harry got used to teaching very fast. He liked to show the students how to defend themselves. Also it was a great feeling when he realized that he already began to get respects for being a good teacher, instead for being their so called 'savior'. Harry wanted to enjoy it as long as possible, he knew it would change the moment they would learn of his pregnancy.

The nausea vanished as Poppy had promised and Harry felt better than ever. He felt at home in his body and liked the changes his little girl was causing. Only his new eating habits needed a little getting used to. During school lessons he hid his condition under a concealing charm designed for pregnancies, making sure no harm would be done to his child.

It was five weeks into term, the first Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Quidditch game, that would change Harry's life drastically, once again.

ooOoo

It was a beautiful, warm Midsummer Day and staff and students had gathered to watch this first game of the term between the most rivaling houses.

Jumping up from his seat beside the headmaster, Harry watched excited how the Gryffindor seeker was diving after the snitch. Everyone's eyes in the stadium were on the duel between the two young men that were desperately trying to get to catch that little golden ball first. The air was burning with excitement. Harry was surrounded by laughing and shouting people. He blended them out and concentrated on the seeker, imagining it was him, sitting on this broom.

He missed flying, missed playing Quidditch, and missed the freedom he felt when he was in the air, on a broom. It was one of the things he had had to quit in order to protect the child. There had been other things he had had to give up as well, but this was what he missed most. Harry only found comfort in the thought that his pregnancy would not last forever. Focused on the young Gryffindor seeker, Harry did not see it coming.

No one did.

If it had not been the moment before a possible end of the game, if it had not been a match between _these_ two houses, making it even more important, maybe someone would have realized what was going to happen. Someone would have raised their wand, preventing it. But they did not. No one noticed until it was too late.

One of the Gryffindor beaters, eager to protect his seeker from any distraction in this parlous situation, hit the Bludger with all the strength he possessed. Even Madam Hooch could not react that fast. The moment she saw the movement in the corner of her eye, she knew it was too late. Almost like in slow motion she watched as the Bludger shot into the headmasters direction. Missing the older wizard by only a hair's breadth, it slammed right into Harry's middle. Writhing with agony, is sent him stumbling two steps backwards. A collective gasp ran through the audience as soon as they realized what was just happening. Then, after a second of silence, hell broke loose.

Disbelieve and shock rushing over his face, the young wizard collapsed to the floor, blinded by pain and struggling to stay conscious. Where the hell had that come from? Had someone attacked him? Then Albus Dumbledore was at his side, and Harry tried to concentrate on the words the other wizard, was saying. He could hear the word 'Bludger', but not more. Blood was rushing in his ears and darkness called to him strongly. _I have to stay awake_ was his last thought before his world turned dark.

Albus Dumbledore reacted instantly. Seeing that Harry drifted in to unconsciousness, he cast a quick spell; he hoped would stabilize his circulation. Gripping the younger wizards shoulders tightly, he carefully shook him and called his name. To his great relief, Harry's eyelids began to flutter open, his face distorted in pain.

Harry thought he would really die this time. His whole body was agony. He had been hit by Bludgers before but this was different. It was worse. Much worse. Touching his slightly swollen, concealed belly protectively, all he could think of was his child. His little daughter. She had to be all right. She had to survive. Nothing else mattered. She was his life. His reason for getting up every morning. The only true family he had left.

Unaware of what was going on around him, he just lay there in a fetal position whispering "My baby" over and over again. He did not hear the yelling, did not see the looks that were piercing him, did not realize that Albus was leaning down to him again.

The headmaster touched his shoulder slightly, trying to understand what the young Professor in front of him was murmuring. When he eventually realized what the other wizard was repeating like a mantra, he was stunned. His face turned to stone. Could that be? How could it be possible that he had not seen it? Why had Harry not talked to him? Why had he not told him? And where was the other father, why was he not here with Harry?

But this all was unimportant right now. It was most certain a situation of life and death for both, father and child and he had to act. Carefully he cradled the raven-haired man in his arms, doing something he had never expected he would ever have to do in his life.

Gathering all his strength, he willed a corridor into the wards that were connected to the castle, begging Hogwarts silently for permission to pass all protections safely. He disappeared with a slight noise, only to appear again in the infirmary, scaring Poppy half to death. She recovered the second she laid her eyes on the figure in the headmaster's arms.

"Harry!" she gasped, giving Albus a sign to put the shaking and whispering figure on the hospital-bed. "What happened?" She asked while running several checks on him.

"He took a Bludger in the stomach." He explained, seeing the medi-witch pale even more. Watching her cast difficult diagnosis spells on him, he stayed silent for a while. Deciding he had to know the truth he than asked in a serious voice, "He is pregnant, isn't he?"


	6. Cornered

A/N: Thanks for all the nice reviews. I loved them. For those who thought they might have not read correctly, yes, Harry's baby is a GIRL! grin So now go on and read how she is doing....

Chapter 6: Cornered

Severus Snape stared at the point where the headmaster had disappeared only seconds before with unseeing eyes. No. Not again. Would it never end? He was so sick of seeing Harry like this. He had witnessed it too often during the last months. Often it had been him, who had brought Harry back from the battlefield. Rare enough that the youth had been conscious. Not that others had ended up better. It just had hurt more to see Harry like this.

_Where the hell had that come from? I thought it had been that damn night, that had changed everything_. That damn night the brat had gotten under his skin. Obviously not. When had it started? The moment the Potter boy had begun to be 'Harry'? The moment he had realized how sad this youth was, how lonely? Or had it been the moment when he had looked at him, his eyes so empty, it had made his skin crawl, emotionlessly stating, "I will not survive this, Severus. I know I won't. But it's ok. I never expected it to be different. I was living on borrowed time. I should have been dead for years now. I only hope I can take him with me. Then at least, no one will have to die any more because of me."

Someone poked Severus' ribs while trying to get out of the stadium. Coming back to the present, he looked around, confused. The Potions Master had not noticed that the game had ended. The Slytherin seeker had caught the snitch. Snape did not care. All he could think of was to get to the infirmary as fast as possible. How ironic, that it was his favorite sport that had brought him there, after giving it up. With a low growl Snape headed for the entrance. He had to know how Harry was doing..

ooOoo

"This is not the right time, Albus" Madame Pomfrey snapped and rushed past the older wizard to grab some potions. Her expression was stern. Then she returned to Harry's side and cast a spell on him, one the headmaster did not recognize. Not a good sign.

"Please Poppy, I have to know. It is important. If he is pregnant – of which I am almost certain – then you need to tell me who the other father is, so I can go and get him. I am sure he would like to know that his mate and his child are in danger."

The medi-witch turned at his words, her eyes burning with anger now. "With all due respect, headmaster, I am trying to save this wizard's life here. Besides, Harry has made himself perfectly clear that I have no permission to report to you in any way about any tests I might have run over the last months. Now, if you would leave us alone so I can take care of my patient. And please close the door behind you. Be assured, I will hex anyone who dares to step through that door without being sick."

Realizing that he would get no answers now, Albus silently left the room and shut the door as softly as possible

ooOoo

Madame Pomfrey turned to Harry once more, brushing the sweaty hair out of his face. "He is gone, dear." She told him softly, and the younger wizard sighed with relief. "Harry, I will take down the concealing charm now and have a closer look at your little one, ok?" She smiled at him reassuringly, trying desperately not to show her worries.

"You said my life is in danger." Harry whispered, feeling a tingling sensation when the charm was lifted.

"I will not lie to you, Harry." The medi-witch sighed. "You have serious damage at most of your inner organs. Your liver, your spleen, your kidneys. I have stopped the bleeding, but you are still in danger." Pointing her wand at his belly and casting another spell, her face lit up a bit. "It seems that you have a strong little baby-girl there, dear. Her magic has protected her by reflecting the enormous force that hit her, on _your_ body. Unfortunately this action extended the radius of the damage and that is what left you in the current state."

"So she is ok?" Harry asked weakly, not wasting one thought on his own health. In his eyes shone hope.

"Yes Harry, she is fine. A little troubled maybe, but nothing serious." Poppy reassured him, after rechecking the spell she had done earlier. "But listen to me. You will have a hard time over the next day or two. You will need blood replenishing potions, as well as healing and circulation-stabilizing potions. I will not be able to give you much painkillers for the most of them are dangerous for your child."

Looking up to her, Harry nodded his understanding. "No painkillers. I don't want her to be harmed." He stated, a determined look upon his face. Poppy smiled a little, sad smile. She knew that look all to well. He was ready to fight. As if he had read her mind, the young man in the hospital bed told her, "Okay, so give me those damn potions and let's get it over with. I will survive," he hesitated a second, a painful look entered his eyes, before he closed them, "I always do."

ooOoo

"How is he, Albus?" Minerva McGonnagal was rushing towards the headmaster, followed by a very worried looking Potions Master. They were outside the hospital wing, eager to get to know how their youngest colleague was doing. A very bad feeling began to build up in Severus stomach, as he saw the expression on the older wizard's face. And then he heard the words he had hoped he would never hear again.

"He is heavily injured," Albus uttered and Severus could hear Minerva gasp beside him.

He was not prepared for the pain welling up in is chest. Or the fear. He could not lose him. Even if he never would get to touch him again, he had lived in the consolation that the younger wizard would still be around. That he would finally get to live, without the knowledge that every day Voldemort could attack and end his life. That he finally would be allowed to have his own life after all.

He could not die now. Not like this. Not of having been hit by a damn Bludger! He had survived the _war_ for Merlin's sake. Snape knew Harry had expected to be dead by now. Killed by Voldemort. The youth had never expected to survive the final battle. Well, he barely had. The young Gryffindor had spent a fair amount of time in the infirmary, bruised, bleeding, broken. More dead than alive. But he had survived. He always had.

Albus, who seemed to sense the direction Severus' thoughts were taking put a comforting hand on the Potions Masters arm. He knew the young wizard in the infirmary meant a lot to Severus, even if he would not admit it openly. He had watched how unnatural the two of them were acting lately and had wondered if it had something to do with Harry teaching the subject Severus had wanted for so long. Now, given the fact that Harry was most certainly pregnant, Albus thought it could have been jealousy as well.

Right now, Snape looked only worried and miserable. "Poppy will fix it. You will see, he will be alright. He has survived worse. He is strong. He is a fighter. He will make it." Throwing a worried look at the closed door, Albus did not know whom he wanted to convince, the other two wizards, or himself.

ooOoo

Two hours later Harry was lying in the infirmary bed, hurting like hell. He had taken all the potions Poppy had given to him. As expected, they had all tasted horrible. And he knew he would have to take some of them again, soon.

Trying to sit up a little - but deciding against it because of the pain that multiplied instantly – Harry sighed. After all, the medi-witch had warned him what it would be like. "Poppy?" he tried to call her, but his voice would not cooperate. All he could manage was a hoarse whisper. Clearing his throat he tried again, with more success this time. Within seconds, the elderly witch was at his side.

"Oh, Harry, dear, you are awake. How do you feel?" She asked in a soft voice, brushing his unruly hair out of his face again. He looked so young and lost in this bed, his skin almost as pale as the sheets.

"It hurts. And I am thirsty." Harry answered, trying a little smile.

Poppy instantly smiled back at him and announced, "I will go and get you some juice and a light painkiller then." She disappeared behind one of the curtains, only to come back seconds later, with a glass of pumpkin juice and a vial.

Harry was grateful when she helped him sip a little of the juice, but when she put the vial to his lips, he turned his head, rejecting the potion. "No. You told me painkillers are not good for my baby. I will not take that," he stated stubbornly.

"I told you the majority of them are a danger to your child, mostly the stronger ones. But I assure you this one will not do any harm to the baby. It is a very light one. Now take it, the less you are in pain, the better she is feeling, too." She lectured, shaking his head about his behavior.

The young man looked at her suspiciously, before swallowing the potion obediently. Poppy would not lie to him. Not about something that important. He shifted a little in his bed, expecting the medi-witch to leave him alone again, but to his surprise, she took a seat at his bedside. Her expression was serious now. "Harry, I need you to allow me to talk to the headmaster. Wait…" she raised a hand when she saw that he was about to reply something. The look upon his face was a mixture between fear and anger.

"Listen, " she tried again, "Albus is already suspicious about you being pregnant. He brought you here from the stadium and when you arrived you were murmuring about your baby. He is not stupid, Harry. He knows. All I want to do is tell him the rest of it. When it was conceived and how. He has this idea of telling the other father and we need to explain why this is not possible. But I will make sure he does not tell anyone before you had a chance to talk to him. Is that acceptable?"

Sighing, Harry closed his eyes. This would be the end of the little bit of peace he had managed to gain. _Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. One moment you think everything is okay and the next moment it blows up in your face. Well, I think all good things must come to an end_, Harry thought sarcastically. Then, with a defeated tone in his voice, that he could not suppress, he stated, "Go ahead. I don't have a choice now, anyways."

Poppy stood and left the room to talk to the headmaster.


	7. The big bang

Chapter 7: The big bang

"Ah, Poppy! Have a seat. I hope you have good news about Harry." The headmaster shoved a cup of tea into the medi-witches hands. His eyes were lacking the usual mischievous twinkle.

"Chances are good that he will survive. I did what I could for him, as always. Some more potions over the next few hours and the worst should be over. I have put a charm on him that will alert me of every change of his status while I am here talking to you. But I must ask that we get over with this as fast as possible. I don't want him to be alone longer than absolutely necessary."

Albus watched the woman sitting on a chair in front of his desk. She had the teacup in a vice like grip, her knuckles turning white. The medi-witch's lips were pressed together into a thin line. She looked angry, but he knew her long enough to realize she was most certain just tired and very worried. No surprise considering the last hours.

Finally nodding his agreement, Albus thought that the two of them had had far too many conversations like this over the last years. The scheme was awfully familiar. Harry fighting for his life, Poppy telling him she had done what was in her power to save him. Looking at her for another long moment, the older wizard asked then, "Did he give you permission to talk to me, now? "

The medi-witch took a deep breath and answered, "Yes, he did. And you are right. Harry is indeed pregnant. But before you ask, he does not know who the other father is. He intends to raise his daughter alone."

The headmaster looked at her, dumbfounded. After a second he cleared his throat and uttered, "Well, that is quite a surprise, isn't it?" When Poppy did not answer, Albus asked, "Would you please explain how this happened? Mr. Potter is hardly a person who is in for 'one night stands', I believe."

Shooting the older wizard an annoyed glare, the witch spoke up again. "It happened the day of the victory party. He felt sick and took an anti-flu potion in order to be able to attend the feast. Unfortunately someone gave him alcohol and after a time he felt even worse. He lay down in a guestroom, where someone took advantage of the situation, that night. Surprisingly enough there has not been an article at the Daily Prophet abut this until now. But I fear that will change when they find out about his pregnancy."

Again, the headmaster was silent for long minutes. Poppy watched his reactions carefully. He might not look it most of the time, but Albus Dumbledore could be a very dangerous wizard if he was out to protect the ones he considered family. And Harry definitely belonged to this group. The medi-witch could practically see him thinking. How he made plans. How he fought to control his anger. Finally Albus spoke up, his facial expression deathly calm now. "This is a very unpleasant situation. I know, there are charms to find out who the other father is. Have you used them already? I want to know who did this to Harry. This incident will not go unpunished." Rubbing his temples slightly, he asked, "How does Harry feel about the situation; about the baby?"

Poppy's face went soft. "He loves his daughter incredibly and has done everything to protect her," she announced and Albus blinked surprised, his look spoke volumes. "He told me that he first thought he had had a pleasant dream that night. And that he does not feel like something bad has done to him. Harry also told me that he has no longer the wish to search for the other father and that he is prepared to be a single father. I think he has come to terms with the situation. He sees his daughter as a gift, not a shame. Harry did not once act like he is unhappy or depressed, nor did he say anything about still being scared. In fact, he enjoys his pregnancy."

Albus Dumbledore still looked unconvinced "Of course we can not perform the spell to find the other father without Harry's permission. And if he is determined to raise his child alone, that is his decision. I guess all we can do is to offer our help and our support then. I will have to talk to the heads of the houses first, and later to the whole staff, to keep the gossip at bay. When do you think I can talk to Harry? I need to speak to him before I go and tell any of this to anyone."

Everyone who did not know the headmaster as well as Poppy did, would have been fooled by his collected expression. But not her. She noticed the anger that was burning in him, the rage. It was the way he almost forcefully stirred his tea, the look in those blue eyes that seemed to have turned to ice, the tension that had taken over his body. Oh yes, Poppy was sure he was furious. But she would see for it that he would not let Harry notice it. The boy had enough problems as it was

"If everything is going fine, you should be able to speak with him tomorrow afternoon. But he will definitely not be able to leave the infirmary for the next two days. And no teaching for at least a week." Her tone was rigorous. "If you would excuse me now, I have a patient to take care of." With that she stood and hurried back to the hospital wing.

"Whoever it was, he will regret it. I will make him pay!" The headmaster told the empty room.

ooOoo

It seemed Harry should be right. He survived once again. When the headmaster came to speak to him the next evening, he was sitting on the infirmary bed. Though still pale and hurting, his situation was not life-threatening any more. The young man felt uncomfortable under the searching eyes of the headmaster. The older man took a seat by his bedside and Harry blushed when Albus' look stopped at his swollen belly.

"Hello my boy. I hope you are feeling better. It was quite a bit of a shock to see you like this again. I had hoped you would not end up in the infirmary within a foreseeable space of time. But we can't change that now, can we? So, Poppy told me you are going to have a little daughter. I am delighted to hear that. Congratulations." At Harry's surprised look he smiled and continued, "What I do not completely understand is, why you have not told me of it. You surely must have known that I would do everything possible to help you with this?"

Harry sighed and touched his belly protectively. "Albus, I am sure Poppy has told you about the special circumstances my daughter was conceived? I just wanted some time in peace before the press is going to make my life a living hell once more. Besides, I was a little worried if you would allow me to teach the DADA classes, once you would know. And then there was the fact that this whole situation needed quite a bit of getting used to. Before I was told I was pregnant, I did not even know this was possible for males." Harry looked down on his right hand that was now rubbing small circles over his swollen belly.

It was something, Albus realized, he had done before. Now, with hindsight, the headmaster was surprised he had not noticed it earlier. Even as pale as he currently was, with dark circles under his eyes and in pain, even now, he seemed to radiate it. It was true what was told about pregnancies, they made people glow. Inwardly shaking his head about his own ignorance, Albus thought that he had been jumping to conclusions. All the time he had assumed the positive changes in this young man had been the satisfaction his new job brought and the fact that Voldemort was gone, while all the time a little girl had been the reason. "I think this is in parts my fault. Poppy convinced me that we have to do something about our sexual education at this school. Maybe things would have been different if you had known about male pregnancy." The headmaster sounded unhappy.

"I don't think it would have made much difference." Harry stated. He shifted a little in his bed, trying hard to find a position that did not hurt, before he looked the older wizard in the eyes. "Even if I had known about the possibility to get pregnant, I would not have taken any potion. I had not intended to get this kind of action that night, remember? Though I think your idea will be a blessing for the following students."

Albus winced slightly at the mention of the events of this evening. Smiling sadly, the younger wizard tried to reassure the man sitting beside his bed. He was so sick of those compassionate-pitiful glances. He had earned them one time too often during the last years. When would they learn that this was the best way to raise his temper?

His eyes narrowed a little and his tone turned slightly colder as he uttered, "Please don't look at me like that! First, I was angry of course, for this is nothing that happens every day. But I do not feel raped. I remember that it felt good and I even encouraged whoever was touching me. I thought I was dreaming. I know technically it is rape because I was drugged, and I should feel horrible, but it is not worse than any other thing Voldemort did to me. In fact, someone gave me a wonderful present. I may not know her other father, but I love my daughter deeply. I will not feel sorry for having her!"

At his words the twinkle in the headmasters eyes came back. It was good to see Harry had not lost his spirit. "You always had a way of seeing the good in everything. I am truly sorry that once again this will be a though time for you. But I promise we will help you. You understand, that I have to talk to the Heads of the houses and the rest of the staff? We need to prevent gossip as much as possible. And we will of course support you in any way. I planned to talk to Heads of the houses today, but wait to tell the staff until you can join us, too. Is that acceptable or do you wish for me to wait until you are able to attend both of the meetings?"

Shuddering at the thought to have to witness Severus' reaction, Harry was thankful that he could not join them. "No. That is perfectly fine with me. You tell Minerva, Severus and the others on your own and I will be there when the rest of the staff gets to know. I don't think I could go through this twice, anyways." Harry sighed and leaned back in his pillow, as another wave of pain shot through him. Almost time for the next turn of potions.

The headmaster stood, touching Harry's pale hand for a second. "Rest my boy. Everything is going to be all right, you will see. And don't worry about your classes. Your students already miss you. We will find a solution that is satisfying for all of us. I will not take that from you, I promise."

A few seconds later Harry heard the infirmary door being shut.

ooOoo

Four very worried looking Professors were sitting in the headmaster's office half an hour later. They had been told Harry was out of danger, but nothing more. Currently they were waiting to get to know the whole story. Severus had hardly slept during the night, and had been in a bad mood all day. Now sitting there with a cup of tea in his hands, he lost his patience rather quickly.

"Headmaster, could you please tell us what is going on? Why is no one allowed to go to the infirmary if it is true that Harry is getting better? Why all this secretive behavior? Has it something to do with the accident? Or an attack? We surely would know if Voldemort was back, wouldn't we?" his tone sounded enraged. The other Professors stared at him in a mix of disapproval and shock. But Albus only smiled.

"Severus my boy, calm down please. Drink your tea. I will explain everything. Once again this is a difficult situation for Harry. I expect nothing less that full support from all of you. But most important, we all need to keep the gossip as small as possible." The headmaster shot a quick look at the worried faces of his Professors. "To come straight to the point; Harry is pregnant."

A burning pang of jealousy shot through Snape. Beside him he could hear the other head of the houses gasp. He has found someone and I didn't even notice Severus thought, unable to fight the pain in his chest. "Harry doesn't look pregnant." He heard himself say. What a stupid remark for someone used to handle magic. And then he added, "When did he get pregnant and where is the other father?" The Potions Master could have slapped himself for sounding so curious and so hurt.

"I do not know who the other father is. Harry told me he is going to be a single father. And as for the 'when', that would be the night of the victory celebration. This means...." The rest of the headmaster's words went by unrecognized by Severus Snape. The night of the victory celebration. The night he spent in my bed. The night he can't remember. Oh, Merlin.... Realization hit him like a bucket of ice-water. He is pregnant with my child!

That was the last thought before Potions Master Severus Snape, ex-death eater turned spy and most feared teacher of Hogwarts, fainted.

A/N: Like it? Hate it? Please let me know


	8. Shocked

Chapter 8: Shocked

"Professor Snape? Severus? Can you hear me? Look at me!" The voice seemed to come from far away and the man in the hospital bed found it hard to obey. Eventually he managed to open his eyes. The silhouette of a woman swam into his visual field, but he could not focus on her. Severus felt a spell being cast and a second later, he could see clearly. Taking in his surroundings, he realized that he was in the infirmary. "What happened?" He asked feeling confused. Sighing, Poppy answered him with a stern expression, "You fainted in the headmaster's office and hit your head on his desk. You have a concussion, but nothing serious." Judging by her tone she was not pleased at all.

Suddenly Snape remembered. _Merlin! Harry is pregnant with my child! I'm such an idiot. Given the fact that he can't remember who he slept with, it's no wonder he told Albus he will be a single father. I have to tell him the truth. I don't want him to find out by using a spell on the child. OUR child. MINE too. I am going to be a father. I am really going to be a father. This is frightening and so unreal...so huge. I only wished the circumstances were different. A child should be born into a loving relationship or at least a functional one. Pregnancy should not be the result of a night of passion that one of the participants doesn't even remember. Well it's too late now. I can't change how things are, no matter how much I might wish it_. Severus closed his eyes against his thoughts, completely unaware how much of what he felt showed on his face.

Poppy eyed the wizard in front of her suspiciously; the amount of pain his features held was alarming. He should not be in pain at all. Casting another spell on him, she could not find a physical source. "What is the mater with you, Severus?" She asked. "In all the years I have known you, you never fainted before. What caused this? Have you been hiding something from me? Because if you have, you better tell me now, before I get impatient. I honestly do not need another disaster like the one with Harry. One patient with secrets is already one too many for my taste." Surprised, the medi-witch ceased firing off questions when she noticed how Severus winced at the mention of the younger wizard. "Is it that?" She continued, her curiosity peaked. "Harry? You fainted because of the news about Harry?" Seeing something akin to panic rush over Snape's face, she could not suppress a little smile. This was such a rare sight.

"Would you please lower your voice!" the Potions Master snapped, glancing at the white curtain that shielded his bed from unwelcome looks.

"Nothing to worry about, Severus." Poppy reassured him. "I have put up a silencing charm. Harry is sleeping at your right and I don't want him to be disturbed. He is still in pain." Satisfied she watched as Snape's face showed worry for the young man, and something else she could not quite name. Regret? Guilt? Contrition? Quite a strong reaction for someone who had been carefully avoiding Harry the last time. So, Severus obviously cared a little more for Harry than he let on. Judging by his reaction to the news it was apparent that he was not taking the news of Harry's pregnancy very well.

"How is he doing? Will he be alright? Is the baby unharmed?" Snape asked in a low voice. "I need to talk to him, as soon as possible. It is important. I have to tell him something, and this can't wait." There was urgency in his voice.

He tried to sit up in his bed but Poppy pushed him back on the pillow with soft force. "I don't think so, Severus," the medi-witch snapped and pointed her wand at him. "You both need rest right now. And I don't see what could be important enough to disturb him. Surely this can wait until he is allowed to leave the infirmary in a few days?" She did not voice her opinion that for the kind of talk he probably had in mind, he would need more privacy than the infirmary could offer. It was obvious that he needed to speak with Harry, and soon. If they had talked earlier, maybe things would be different now. She was pulled out of her thoughts as her patient yelled at her.

"No it can't wait until then!" Severus insisted as he managed to get up. The movement sent a wave of pain through his head and he moaned as the room began to spin around him.

Poppy sent him an angry look. "I told you, you still need rest. Would you care to enlighten me as to what is so important that it can't wait a little longer? Because otherwise you are not going to go anywhere near him for the next couple of days. Is that understood?"

Closing his eyes and taking a steadying breath, Snape sighed. After a few seconds he looked up at the medi-witch and uttered, "Harry is carrying _my_ child and he deserves the courtesy of hearing this from me."

ooOoo

Harry was feeling restless ever since the headmaster had left. The fact that Severus was about to be informed about his pregnancy made his skin crawl. He was not sure how he would be able to stand it, should he see disgust in the face of the man he loved. "We will make it, baby, we will get by," he told the little baby-girl inside of him, once again rubbing his belly protectively. It was something he did quite often, the last time. Harry hesitated for a moment as something occurred to him. He started the comforting movement again with a small smile as he mumbled "I need a name for you, little one! I really can't go on calling you 'baby'. So tell me, my daughter, what is your name?" The moment he referred to her as 'my daughter', a memory came to life – one that made him think she had heard him an was trying to answer his question.

_ After a hard day training and preparing for the final battle, Harry was sitting by the lake with Severus. They talked a while and eventually reached the topic of 'family'. Harry had confessed that, given the fact that his childhood with the Dursley's had not been too pleasant, he had always wanted a family of his own. He also expressed his belief that he no longer thought it possible that he would have the children he hoped for. "If I would be allowed to choose though, I think I would have liked to have a daughter first" Harry had whispered. Hearing the sorrow in his voice, Snape had steered the conversation away from the fact that Harry might not survive the war and had joked instead "A daughter? You? And I would have to teach her sooner or later. Merlin, I can imagine her. Ebony hair, emerald eyes, skin like expensive china and your talent for getting in trouble. What are you going to call her? Snow-white?"_

Surprised that Snape had known about a Muggle-fairytale, Harry had only laughed. But now he did not. One word stuck with him and he hoped that Severus' description of his daughter would be correct in this part.

"Not Snow-white," he murmured to the little girl growing inside of him. "_Ebony_ !"

With that he had snuggled into the pillow, relieved he was feeling no pain for the moment, and had fallen asleep. He had missed Snape's arrival completely.

ooOoo

"Severus, _you_ ?" Shock and disbelief were clearly audible in Poppy's voice. She had paled noticeably, staring at him as if he were an alien. "You did this to Harry? You took advantage of the situation, seducing a drugged, helpless man without even using _any_ kind of protection?" Her voice was shrill now and her hand, reaching up to cover her mouth, was trembling. "You are a Potions Master, a teacher, a ..." She broke off, lost for words. Snape took the opportunity to set a few things straight.

"First of all, _I_ was not the one who was seducing. Second, at the time I did not know he was drugged and not in his right mind. It is all a big misunderstanding. We were attracted to each other before that day, or so I thought. When I found him sleeping half naked in my bed, I came to the wrong conclusion because of something he had said to me earlier. It might be hard for you to believe, but I did not jump him right then and there. I _did_ talk to him and he actually _told me_ he wanted to be with me. He was the one to kiss me first, and he certainly gave me the impression that it was what he wanted. I really had no knowledge of his being drugged or any reason to believe he was not fully capable of judging the situation."

He sighed and covered his face with his hands, before he looked at the stunned medi-witch again and asked, "Do you know how guilty I feel for doing this? For not seeing it, for losing my self-control - how much it pains me that he doesn't even remember anything of that night. Do you understand what it means to me facing the fact that, not only I did misjudge the situation, I didn't think to use protection? Do you have any idea what torture it is knowing that I left him pregnant and ignorant with regard to the identity of the father? Once I had hoped we could have a relationship – I wished for it so badly. Now I know everything will be different the moment he understands what I have done. He does not remember what happened that night. I have nothing but my word, that I did not force anything on him." Severus' eyes were empty, his voice defeated. "This child could have been the most beautiful gift to us, if we had shared something special - a partnership, love. Now I fear that no matter how much we might love it, and no matter how much we try to deny the facts, our child will be a reminder of a terrible mistake of mine. Not that the child is a mistake, rather whole night was. All that is left for me to do now is to tell Harry who did this to him. He needs to know it right away and he deserves to hear it from me.

Poppy shot Snape a worried look, as she regained her composure. The whole situation seemed to be a catastrophe, though in one point she totally agreed with Severus... he needed to tell Harry himself. "I will allow you to talk to Harry soon, but you also have to go and see headmaster Dumbledore. He is upset about this whole situation and you need to do some explaining. Rest now. I will come and get you in thirty minutes, then you will be able to talk to Harry." With this she turned around and left him alone.

ooOoo

"Severus!" Harry was surprised when the other wizard appeared from behind the curtain at his left side. The Potions Master looked tired and insecure and seemed to hesitate as he approached his bed. Harry was sure, his own face showed almost the same emotions. Fortunately, disgust did not seem to be one of them. Taking a seat at the younger wizards bed, Snape began to speak, "Harry, there is something I have to tell you. It is difficult and you have every right to be mad at me, but please, would you give me a chance to explain?"

This was not what the younger man had expected. Harry was confused. What was this all about? Why was Severus behaving so strangely? What was he doing in the infirmary in the first place? What had he done to Poppy that she had allowed him to be here, talking to him? The medi-witch had been very strict about the 'No-one is going to visit Mr. Potter rule'. Even the headmaster had had quite a hard time, convincing her of the necessity of his visits. Harry needed to know what was going on here. "Professor Snape, I do not understand what this is all about. Why should I be mad at you? I would have thought that it would be you who would not be too pleased about the ... news." The young wizard stated.

Sighing gravely, the Potions Master looked down at his hands. "That is what I wanted to talk about," he uttered. "I ... I know who the father of your child is. I..." His stuttering was interrupted by Harry's surprised, "How do you know? Who is it?"

Gathering his strength and looking Harry straight in the eyes, Severus confessed, "Harry, I am the father of your child."


	9. Demands

  
Chapter 9: Demands 

Blinking a few times in surprise, Harry's expression softened and he looked at Severus with a slight smile. Now he understood what this was all about. Harry suppressed a sigh as he looked the other man straight in the eye. Harry could not allow Snape to take the blame for his pregnancy, as a means to protect him from viscous gossip.

"I know what you are trying to do, Severus. I understand all too well. Please, just don't do it. You have tried to protect me from the moment I first set foot on Hogwarts grounds. You have watched over me, trained me, saved my life more times I could start to count, and I owe you." The young wizard raised his hand to silence the other man, who wanted to interrupt him. He did not realize how broken he looked to Snape, how incredibly young.

"Severus, I can't let you do this. You know you should not do it. You can not protect me by claiming paternity of my child. I know you probably think it's necessary to shield me from harm, but this time things are different. My life is not in danger, nor is the life of my daughter." Harry heard a sharp intake of breath from the older wizard "If you go out and tell everyone this is your child, though it is not true, things will end up even worse. I have already decided not to search for the other father and raise my child alone."

Shifting slightly to ease the stinging pain located near his ribcage he once again hindered Severus from speaking. "No, wait!" He uttered hastily. "Please let me finish this, it is already difficult enough."

"But..."

" _No_, Severus, please!" Harry pleaded. "I need to say this. It was your reaction to the news I feared the most. Your anger, or worse your disgust for what I have done." The man beside his bed closed his eyes as if in pain, and Harry watched him carefully. "Sev, I know you have the best intentions, but come on, you actually do not even like children that much. I also know that you care for me, maybe enough that we once could have had more, but that is not important any more. All that matters for me now is my daughter, nothing else. I do not need your charity nor your pity. I will certainly not allow you to tumble head over heels into a great mistake. A simple spell could prove that you are not Ebony's father and, though I have decided against the use of any of these spells, someday someone would find out. Believe me, it would be worse if the truth would be discovered _then_ . As it is now, the rumors will die down eventually and everyone will accept the facts." He hesitated and smiled at his former Professor softly murmuring "Thank you for caring."

Professor Severus Snape was stunned. This was not exactly happening as he had thought it would. Harry actually thought he would _pretend_ to be the father of this child to protect him from gossip? Well, the idea was maybe not so far from the truth at all. If it had not been his child, maybe... Shaking his head slightly and allowing himself a little grin, Snape asked "Are you done now? Am I allowed to set things straight for you? Because if I were you, I would not be so sure that this particular spell would not identify _me_ as the father of Ebony _._ Nice name by the way."

The Potions Master found the whole situation suddenly rather amusing. He had come to Harry to apologize for what he had done; to offer his help and to let him know he would not let him down, that he would accept his responsibilities. He had expected anger, yelling, maybe even tears – considering the fact Harry was pregnant – but he had definitely not expected to be turned down after the first sentence.

"What do you mean I should not be so sure the spell would not identify _you_ as the father of my daughter?" Harry asked, eyeing Snape suspiciously.

Severus saw fear on his face now, together with anger and something he could not name. Maybe denial.

"It means exactly what I told you earlier, Harry. This is by no means a noble act of 'self-sacrifice' or anything equally stupid. It is the plain truth. I was the one who slept with you that night in the guestroom. I was the one who impregnated you. I am sorry that I took advantage of you, but I honestly did not know you were not in control of your senses. Hindsight being what it is, I now realize that you did not know I was staying in that room for the night, even though I had told during the party that I was. I also realized that you did not remember what happened that night, so you would not have known who the father of your – _our_ – daughter is."

"Stop it!" Harry yelled, pressing his hands to his ears, his eyes wide with panic. "I don't want to hear it. You are lying!" The young man knew he was acting childish but he could not help it. He had come to terms with the fact that some party guest had slept with him. He had accepted the fact that he had lost Severus because of this pregnancy. He had been prepared to be a single father. He had feared Severus' reaction to the news, but this was too much. Had the man he loved actually told him, he had been the one he had slept with? And if it were true, what would he do? Considering what Hermione had told him, there was a possibility that Snape could claim the child as his heir, even though she was female.

Harry remembered that it had been one of the first things they had looked up; Wizarding laws regarding male pregnancies. It seemed that the laws were very old and very difficult. As Hermione had told him in the beginning, wizards could only be impregnated by other wizards whose magical abilities matched their own or were even stronger. If the couple having a child were married, the question of which parent would be able to claim the first child as his heir was always set forth in the marriage contract. The question of custody between wizards who were neither married or bonded was a bit more prickly. Historically, either the more magically powerful wizard was given custody, and in case of equal power, the wizard with the purest blood line was allowed to claim the first born child as his heir. If the first born child was a girl, the wizard with first claim was not obligated to name the child as his heir - it was basically his call if he chose to claim the child or not.

Hermione had been livid, when she had looked up the laws with regard to custody. "This is unbelievable!" She had shouted. "These laws are archaic and discriminating! I can't believe it has not been changed at all for more than 500 years!" Harry had tried to calm her down by telling her that the other father would most possibly not want to claim this child, especially considering how it had been conceived. The fact that that Poppy later had told him he was expecting a girl had further calmed all of their nerves.

Now his worries were back full force. Severus seemed not to mind at all hat this child was 'only' a girl. What would he do? Would he accept shared custody? Would he attempt to claim her as his heir? Would he try to take Ebony away from him? _She is MY daughter,_ Harry thought angrily, not realizing how irrational he was. The 'real' Snape, the person Harry had had a chance to get to know better, had never been one to care much for bloodlines or heritage. Unfortunately, right now, the young wizard did not remember any of this.

Raising his chin in a challenging way, he demanded "Prove it!" knowing full well that it was too early in his pregnancy to perform the paternity test. "I do remember some things that happened that night. Prove to me that you were really there, and do not only tell me things Dumbledore or Poppy gave away!"

Smiling inwardly at Harry's strange behavior, Snape commanded "Close your eyes and do not open them until I tell you to do so."

"What...?" Harry asked, but was cut off by the older wizard.

"Just do as I told you and I will prove I was there that night. You know you can trust me, so please Harry, _close your eyes_. "

Harry obeyed and a second later he felt warm breath brush over his skin as Severus whispered into his ear with a silken voice, "I found you lying in my bed, sleeping and wearing only black silk boxers. When I touched your shoulder and tried to wake you, you grabbed my hand and told me you wanted 'more'. You pulled me down for a kiss..."

The dark voice of the other wizard was dying away and then Harry felt warm lips cover his own, trembling ones. After a moment of panic, Harry relaxed. It felt wonderful, but ended much too soon.

"I suspected that it was all just a joke, so I decided to ask you." Snape continued and suddenly a hand touched his right cheek, the thumb caressing his skin. Harry gasped as a memory came to life, showing him what was to follow.

"Harry, look at me. What kind of game are you playing?"

Feeling as though he was being transported into the past, the young man slowly opened his eyes and answered, "No game!" just as he had done it the night of the party. Looking like someone who had been hypnotized, Harry kept staring at Severus' face, focused only on him, totally unaware of anything going on around him.

Never breaking eye contact, Snape spoke up again. "So you are sure? This is really what you want? _I_ am what you want?" He continued reciting the words he had used that night.

As expected, Harry answered "Yes, I am sure. You are all I ever wanted."

Before Harry could lean up to him and complete the kiss that had followed this little conversation on that bight, Severus pulled away. Grinning broadly he continued, "That was all I needed to hear from you. So you remember. Now you will agree with me that I am indeed the other father of _our_ daughter, or do you need any more _proof_ ?"

Staring at the person in front of him with wide eyes, all Harry could manage to say was "It was you!"

"I think I told you so." Snape stated dryly. It hurt him that Harry looked so shockedand so scared_._ _Would he rather be pregnant from a total stranger?_ He thought. _We actually could have had something special if this conversation in the infirmary had gone differently. Maybe if I had not felt so guilty about taking advantage of him and if he had not pushed me away by being so distant ... calling me 'Professor Snape' over and over again ...__ but then again, Harry had believed he was pregnant from a stranger, after a night he could barely remember none the less. Certainly it would be a natural reaction not wanting to get closer to me, not wanting to get his hopes up that we might have a chance together._ That thought gave the Potions Master hope and he changed what he had planned to say.

Originally he had planned to offer Harry his help and support, discussing with him the possibility of sharing custody. He would have left the decision about pursuing a relationship up to Harry. Now, after all he had heard and seen, he was sure, he could make this work. _This child will not stand between us, it will bring us closer together._ Severus mused. He did not recognize the panic that appeared in Harry's eyes.

The young wizard shuddered. Had he misjudged Severus? The man had done nothing to try and bridge the distance Harry had intentionally put between them when he discovered he was pregnant. He seemed to have accepted it and had treated Harry in the same distant manner. Now that Severus was sure that the younger man was carrying _his_ child, he was acting as though there had been no distance between them at all. Harry was suddenly suspicious of the man's motives, and could have slapped himself for telling Snape he was all he ever wanted - even if it was the truth. It gave the other man too much power over him.

If it weren't for the pregnancy hormones currently raging in his body, Harry might have realized that he was unusually suspicious of Snape. As things were, the stress of hiding his pregnancy and the weeks of estrangement from Severus had made him unusually protective of his child as well as his heart. The Potion Masters sudden claim of paternity only added fuel to Harry's protective instincts and for the first time in a very long while, Harry was actually a little scared of the man.

Severus, completely unaware of Harry's current state of mind, was happy. He had a feeling that this could be worked out. It would be perfect. Looking lovingly at the pale figure in the infirmary bed, he announced "Harry, first I was rather shocked to hear you were pregnant, but now I think it is a wonderful thing. I am actually looking forward to being a father. You will see, everything will turn out just fine. Together we will manage everything that comes our way. We were a good team in the past and we will be good parents as well. "

The younger wizard stared at Snape in pure disbelief. Severus' words seemed to confirm that his fears had were justified. The man was taking over his life, his child and was already making plans for him. "Severus, I don't think..." he started but was interrupted by the older wizard.

The Potions Master thought it was just Harry's insecurity speaking and so he announced "Harry don't be silly. Of course this will work out fine. We will be much stronger together and at the same time we do what is best for our child." Slightly ironic and with a little smile that was totally lost on Harry he continued "I insist you bond with me."


	10. Fights

celestial light: Thanks a lot

Sarah Levana: Glad you like it that much

evilscorpian: "Ebony", her name is Ebony.grin

serena23: LOL That was quite close

Skeet: 'Bad move'? Definitely! evil grin

texasjeanette: Explosions? Yup! And you are so right, a bit more romance would have been good....

****

**Chapter 10: Fights**

"Bond with you?" Harry asked and looked at Snape like he had grown a second head. "You must be kidding, Severus. I will do no such thing. I will not allow anyone to take control over my life ever again. I can't believe you even considered it. You don't really want to bond with me - we don't even have a relationship, we were barley friends over the last past weeks. All you want is Ebony and this is your way to get her!"

Harry's temper rose rather quickly, going beyond angry right into furious. He did not care that he was in the infirmary and that he was supposed to rest, all he knew was that the Potions Master was threatening him. Snape on the other hand paled at Harry's words. It hurt to hear him say these things. Harry continued, totally unaware of what his words did to Severus.

"What will you do, if I refuse to bond with you? Will you claim her as your heir? Will you take her away from me, just because you think you have the right to do so? I will tell you something – I may not have wanted the title nor did I ever like it, but I _am_ the saviour of the wizarding world. I never thought about using this for my own profit, but if it's that what it takes to keep you from getting your hands on _my_ child, I will do it."

While he was yelling at the other man, Harry got enraged even more. The air began to swirl around him and it felt like the room was being filled with static energy. The young wizard was losing grip on his powers once again. Somewhere in the depths of the room glass burst. Within seconds Poppy came running towards them, wand at the ready.

"Harry...!" she began, but was stopped by his glare as the young wizard turned his attention away from Severus and towards her.

His green eyes were shooting daggers and a soft glowing aura appeared around him as she watched. The young wizard's powers were multiplying minutely. "Leave us alone, Poppy!" Harry demanded. "I will not hurt him, but we need to sort this out."

"I will leave, Harry, but you need to calm down. You are far from being well again and you are endangering your and your child's lives. Do you understand what I say?" The medi-witch tried to get through the young wizards fury.

Closing his eyes and taking a calming breath, Harry tried to get his emotions under control for the sake of his child's life. The aura fainted away, but when he opened his eyes and looked at her, Poppy still could see anger in them. "I calmed down, now go!" he hissed in a voice she had never heard on him before. Without further ado she turned and left the two men alone, knowing this conversation to be necessary.

"Now what do you think, Severus," Harry's voice was dripping with sarcasm now, "do you think they will give you custody of their hero's child? Give custody over an innocent child to an ex-Death Eater who had to take advantage of a helpless man to engender said child?" Ignoring the pain it caused to talk like this about a night he had never considered hurtful or abusive, Harry watched Snape close his eyes in defeat.

Severus felt like someone had used the Cruciatus Curse on him. It hurt more than he could have imagined having his hopes and dreams shattered like that. Obviously, Harry did not want him, did not feel anything for him, except maybe hate and disgust. _I have made a grievous mistake in judgment._ Snape thought, ignoring the feeling of loss that burned in his chest. _I was a fool to think he could be interested in me. That he would want ME of all people. That his passion that night was more than drugs speaking for him. That he would know me good enough to see past the mask I wore so long. I am a fool indeed_.

His voice was low and empty as he asked the younger wizard, "Is that what you think of me, Harry? That I would try to force you into a bond to get power over you and the child? That I would try to claim her as mine to steal her away from you? To do what – hurt you? Why would I do that? All I wanted was for her to have a family, to have her parents. I thought that you of all people would understand that. I never intended to rule or hurt either of you in any way. If you think that low of me, maybe you don't know me at all."

Rising from his chair with unsteady movements, Severus uttered, "I will tell the Ministry of Magic she is all yours. Further I will see for it that she will be able to inherit the Snape fortune someday, if you allow it – it is legally hers." Looking at Harry with empty eyes one last time, he closed, "It would be nice if you would tell her that I am her father, even if you decide to life and bond with someone else – I will though leave the decision up to you. Be well, Professor Potter, I need to talk to the Headmaster now."

With that he left the infirmary with long strides, closing the door soundless behind him. Harry sat in his bed, stunned. What had just happened? This was all going way too fast. His whole life was a mess and he did not know what to do about it._I have just scared away the man I love_ Harry thought. _He did not want you, he wanted to do the right thing for the child_ an evil little voice in his head hissed. This time it was not his body that hurt, but his heart, as Harry buried his face in his pillow and cried himself to sleep.

ooOoo

"Ah, Severus, my boy! Are you feeling better? I was really worried when you fainted at the meeting. Is everything all right? You look like you are still not healthy. Did Poppy give you permission to leave the infirmary, or did you just run away once again?" the Headmaster shot questions at the Potions Master - who had just entered the office - while gesturing for him to sit down.

"I can ensure you, after the last incident I would rather not leave again without her approval" Snape stated and took the offered seat, pushing away the thoughts of the embarrassing situation his last "flight" from the infirmary had caused. The moment the Potions Master sat in his chair, a cup with hot chamomile-tea appeared on the desk in front of him. Rejecting the offered lemon drop he sipped his tea and avoided to look at the Headmaster as long as possible.

"Why are you here, Severus?" Albus Dumbledore asked. "You just fainted a few hours ago and you do not look well. I believe even if Poppy let you go she told you to rest. What is so important that it could not wait?" The concern in his voice could not cover the curiosity that was peeking through.

Snape knew there was no easy way to say what he had to say. He had impregnated Albus' precious 'Golden Boy', his Death Eater hands staining what was pure and chaste. There was no way he would ever be good enough for this wonderful man who was carrying his child. Harry had done the right thing when he had rejected him, Severus knew that now. The young wizard had every right to be angry. In what world would love ever be enough? _I really love him,_ Severus thought with a bitter smile on his lips. _Who would have thought I would be able to love?_

"I am here to tell you that I am the father of Harry.... Professor Potter's child. I was the one who slept with him that night. It is entirely my fault. I did not realize that he was not in his right mind and I was jumping to conclusions. I reacted to something Professor Potter had said to me earlier. It is also my fault that he is in the current state, because I forgot to use protection..." Severus was making his confession in a low, emotionless voice. His tone was as empty as his eyes. He did not wince when he heard the sharp intake of breath from the Headmaster, at his words.

After a moment of silence, Albus Dumbledore spoke. "I have to admit, Severus, that I am disappointed as well as angry." The older wizards voice sounded controlled. "I never thought that you would be so careless. You did not only sleep with a helpless man, you did also not waste a single thought about the consequences of your actions. Though I have to say what in my eyes is worst, is that you did not tell Harry it was you he had slept with, when you realized he had no memories of this night. I never thought you were a coward, Severus, but in this case you surely acted like one. I get it that you did not know of his pregnancy, which explains a lot. Why you fainted for the first time since I know you, for example. I hope you have talked to Harry already and have discussed the whole situation with him?" Dumbledore's tone was stern.

"Yes, Headmaster, that I have. I talked to him as soon as Madame Pomfrey allowed it. He is now aware that I am the other father of his child. I did apologize and I told him that it is of course my fault. I should have realized that he was drugged and I should have had a better self-control. All I can say is that all the time he gave me the impression, that it was exactly what he wanted. He actually told me so. I am extremely sorry that I did not realize it was the drugs speaking for him. As I said earlier, I was jumping to conclusions. I ... I ... the whole night was one big mistake, but it can not be changed any more."

As the otherwise emotionless voice of the Potions Master broke at the last sentence, Albus Dumbledore eyed the wizard in front of his desk carefully. Something was going wrong here. He had been under the impression that Severus and Harry were getting along quite well and that something had 'sparked' between the two of them, before Harry had begun to act strange – which made perfect sense now. One would think now that the two of them had talked and Harry knew he had actually shared this night with someone he was attracted to - and not with a stranger - things would sort themselves out. Well, judging by the look in the Potions Masters eyes, something had gone awfully wrong.

Deciding to ask straight away, the Headmaster said, "I trust you did the honorable thing and asked him to bond with you? So when is the ceremony going to take place?" To his utter surprise a wave of pain swept over the younger wizards face, before he answered

"There will be no bonding. He turned me down. He told me he will never again allow anyone to take control over his life." Severus' voice died away and tears ran down his cheeks. He fought hard to regain his composure, but failed miserably. The next words sounded like a sob. "He thinks I want to control him, when all I wanted was to love him and give our daughter a family. I ... I love him so much but now he will never believe me ..."

Albus Dumbledore stared at the figure across his desk, his anger gone. This was a day full of surprises.

ooOoo

Harry woke 45 minutes later as someone beside his bed whispered, "Shhh... Ron, be silent or you will really wake him up."

Yawning and stretching carefully, Harry opened his eyes to look at his friends. "Hi guys!" he mumbled trying out a weak smile. His eyes felt swollen and in his head was a dull, throbbing ache from crying.

"Oh, mate, you are awake." Ron stated, rising from his chair simultaneously with Hermione.

The young witch had tears in her eyes when she hugged Harry carefully, uttering, "We were so worried about you. Poppy would not allow us to visit you and no-one would tell us how bad it was. Are you feeling better? Do you want us to get Poppy? Are you in pain? You look like you have been crying..."

Hermione was interrupted when Ron grabbed her arm and said, "Mione, calm down. Give him at least a chance to answer your questions, okay?"

Smiling apologetically the young witch sat down again beside her boyfriend, her eyes never leaving the pale figure in the hospital-bed. Harry shifted his position until he was comfortable and then started to speak. "As you might know, a Bludger hit me in the stomach. I swear I thought this time I was going to die, it really hurt pretty bad. You surely can imagine that I was most worried about my daughter, which I decided to call Ebony, by the way. Fortunately she is a strong little girl and reflected the power that hit her on my body – which left me with quite some damage..." Hermione and Ron gasped in unison.

"No need to worry, I am getting better already." Harry told them as he saw their shocked faces. "Ebony is unharmed and I will once again survive," he added, a slight sarcastic tone in his voice.

"We are glad to hear that, Harry, but if everything is going that fine, why have you been crying lately?" Hermione asked and took hold of his hand lightly.

"Yeah, mate, what did upset you so much? Oh, and don't dare to deny it, we can see it."

Taking a deep breath, the young DADA professor decided to tell the truth. "Severus was here to talk to me. He ... he actually told me that _he_ is Ebony's father." Beside his bed his best friends gasped once again. "Seems like I had chosen his temporary quarters to lay down this night. You know what happened then. He came to apologize earlier ... and then he demanded I bond with him..."

Harry sounded so terrified that Hermione looked at him in surprise. "What is the matter with you, Harry? Are you not relieved? I mean, you thought it was a complete stranger you slep with and now you find out that it was the man you were drawn to in the first place. Okay, this is not how it was supposed to happen, but it could turn out to be a great chance. You did tell us you wanted to be with him and that you thought you could not have him because of the baby. Now it turns out that Ebony is his child as well and he did actually ask you to bond with him... So you get everything you wanted, ... well okay maybe not really in the right order, but nevertheless ..." she broke off when Harry sat up quickly, an angered look upon his face.

"Relieved? Why should I be relieved? As I told you, Severus did not ask me to bond with him, he _demanded_ it. He is doing this only to get his hands on _my_ child. He does not care that she is a girl; he wants to claim her as his heir. He was going to try to take her away from me if I would not bond with him. He wants power over my baby and me. But I prevented that. I told him, I will never allow it. I told him, that I will never allow him to get custody of my child. That I will use my silly title to convince the Ministry of Magic that they should not give their hero's child to an ex-Death Eater." The satisfied look upon his face made his two best friends stare at him in pure disbelief.

Ron, who had listened to Hermione and Harry in silence, now spoke up. "Erm, mate, are you sure you are okay? Don't get me wrong, but you are acting very strange. I never heard you call Snape an ex-Death Eater and you surely never liked your fame nor would you use it for your own profit. What is wrong with you? Are you certain you understood him right? I mean, I am not too fond of him, but you told us you were getting along well and that you enjoyed each others company. If you had not been attracted to each other you would surely not have been so down when you thought you had lost him; and he would most probably not have slept with you..."

"You think I am lying to you? You think I am overreacting while I am trying to protect my child at all costs? On which side are you, Ron?" Harry yelled, his face going red with anger.

Hermione got up from her chair quickly and grabbed both of his hands tightly. She wanted to calm him down. "Listen, Harry! We believe you, but you have to admit, what you told us is a little extreme, even for someone like Professor Snape. And why would he want to control you? He has no reason for that. All Ron wanted to say is, that you might misunderstood what he said. You were severely injured and you are still taking strong potions, I'd bet. On top of it all is the psychological stress from having your pregnancy discovered and the shock that it is Snape you slept with. This is an exceptional situation and you might be a little off balance. No-one would blame you if you had trouble with dealing with all of it."

Relaxing slightly, Harry pulled free of Hermione's grip. "Severus made himself perfectly clear. I only did what I had to do in order to protect my child and my freedom." The raven-haired wizard stated stubbornly. Ron exchanged a quick look with Hermione, telling her he was worried about the situation, without words.

"I think I was successful; before he left, Severus told me he is not going to claim her as his heir and that he will tell the ministry of Magic she is all mine." The satisfied look his two best friends had seen upon his face earlier, appeared again.

Cursing inwardly about so much ignorance, Hermione forced a smile on her face. She could imagine that the Potions Master must be deeply hurt by all of this. She did not know him as well as Harry did, but she knew him well enough to guess how much damage had been done. _We need to talk to the headmaster_ Hermione thought. Fortunately Poppy chose this moment to show up and tell them they had to leave. Harry would need another dose of his medication and some rest. Hugging their best friend one last time, Ron and Hermione left the infirmary with the promise to visit again the next day.

ooOoo

A/N: It took me some time to update, thanks for your patience. I hope you enjoy the new chapter. I recently created a yahoogroup where my stories can be found, too - along with some other stuff.Feel free to join, the link can be found in my profile.


	11. Conspiracy

**Chapter 11: Conspiracy**

Sighing heavily Hermione followed Ron up the stairs to the Headmaster's office. She was extremely worried about her best friend. There was more to Harry's strange actions than just a simple pregnancy induced mood swing. Something told her, this was about some fear Harry had been hiding within himself for a very long time. They had seen a glimpse of it the day he had discovered he was pregnant, but there seemed to be more to it. Much more.

The two of them reached the Gargoyle that was guarding the staircase to the headmaster's office and were not surprised when it opened instantly. The Headmaster was awaiting them. Sitting behind his desk, Albus Dumbledore looked tired and slightly older that usual. He was very worried about the two men he loved like his own children. How they got themselves into such a mess was beyond him.

"Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley, welcome back. Have a seat. How about some tea and biscuits? Or maybe a lemon drop?" He offered the yellow sweets to the couple. Accepting the offered tea and biscuits but refusing the lemon drops, Ron and Hermione sat down in front of the Headmasters desk. "I believe you are here to talk about Harry, aren't you?"

"Yes, Professor, that's right." Hermione answered while Ron only nodded. "We're worried about him and ... Professor Snape. Harry told us he has rejected his request to bond with him, but it seems he has done it in a very rude way. He was really acting strange. Only a few weeks ago he told us, he feels attracted to the Professor and now he treats him like this. We honestly don't understand him any more – he even told us he called Professor Snape an ex-Death Eater and made him give up all his rights to the child. Harry actually sounded proud of what he did..."

Hermione's voice trailed off, but after a few seconds she added, "On the other hand, ... he had been crying and I highly doubt that they were tears of joy. He's hurting emotionally, I could see it. What I don't understand completely is why in Merlin's name he reacted so strongly to being told Professor Snape is the father of his child. He was after all the one who always told us he didn't feel abused and now it seems he was right. They were attracted to each other before and part of him might have recognized that fact..."

When she broke off again, Albus spoke up. "Miss Granger...Hermione, I know this is hard to understand, but you have to trust me in this; Harry is more frightened than ever before in his whole life. Not even Voldemort could evoke such strong feelings in him. After some time he had accepted the fact that the Dark Lord would only give up when one of them would be dead. He knew there would be violence and losses on both sides. But one thing he never thought would happen – that he would survive. You know I am right. I think he even told you so. And while he had come to terms with his pregnancy and the circumstances how his child was conceived, I think right now, he is more scared of living than he was ever scared of dying."

Ron wanted to protest, wanted to say that Harry was scared of nothing, but instead he kept silent. Professor Dumbledore was right, his best friend was, right now, probably more frightened than ever before in his whole life. There was no other explanation for the way he acted. "You mean he is afraid of being with Professor Snape, even if he loves him?" Ron asked carefully.

The Headmaster nodded and Hermione said slowly, "Think about it for a moment, Ron. What do we know about Harry? He was raised by people who did not show him any kindness let alone love. They never touched him or hugged him; he had not even had one real friend until he met you. I know for certain, that Harry never had a real relationship either, nothing that nothing that went beyond a superficial interest. And now we have to ask, why is that so? The answer is very easy, he could never know that the person he was with did not want him for his so called 'fame'."

"That is a very accurate description of his dilemma, Hermione." The Headmaster stated.

"Ok, so we know that he and Professor Snape got along very well while working together to win the war. The Professor is one of the few people who have never treated him like the 'boy-who-lived' or something equally stupid. We know that Harry did appreciate that. That must have been the time they became attracted to each other." Hermione summarized.

When she paused, Ron murmured, "It could have worked, if it had not been for the night of the victory party..."

"Yes, that is where the things became difficult." Dumbledore agreed and sighed. "This was all one huge misunderstanding that got them where they are now. Fact is, they love each other, but it is also fact that they would never believe us, if we told them – let alone be successful in bringing them to admit it to each other. So we need a plan. A plan that will bring the two of them closer together and make them talk. I think their little daughter will be exactly what we need." A mischievous twinkle entered the old wizard's eyes once again.

Hermione stared at him, realization hit her, "You mean we will convince them to bond for what? 'For the sake of their child'? Her tone was slightly ironic, because this sounded just so ... cliché!

"Exactly!" The Headmaster announced, grinning happily. "Harry and Severus are men with a certain moral code. Then there is the fact that Harry lost his parents at a very young age and didn't have a loving family with the Dursley's. I would dare say he wants something better for his child. With Severus at his side his family would not only be complete, but also they could stop the gossip much more effectively than they could do it alone. As we all know, at this moment, Severus is writing to the Ministry of Magic, relinquishing all rights to his daughter..." He trailed of to let Ron and Hermione catch up with his plan. Which happened rather quickly, Hermione was not the brightest witch in ages for nothing.

"Oh, yes, I think I know what you mean. Maybe someone could just leave the papers on a desk, where they can be found by some very _indiscreet _person .... Let's say, Rita Skeeter? I hate that woman, but she could actually do something good with her gossip, for once. How about we talk to your father, Ron and ask him to send her an invitation. They could have a talk about all the changes the Ministry plans, now that 'Voldie' is gone."

First Ron stared at her as if she was insane, but then his face lit up noticeably. "That is a great idea, Hermione. This way Professor Snape will have to protect them. We will have to persuade Harry - tell him that it would not be fair to Ebony to take away the chance for her to have a family..."

"Very good!" Dumbledore clapped his hands and grinned, "So it is set. I will talk to Severus - tell him that I expect nothing less than to see him boded with Harry as soon as possible and that they should handle this is a more 'mature' way. That, together with you convincing Harry to agree 'for the sake of their child', and the article that will follow Miss Skeeters visit at the Ministry, will get us there. They will bond. Everything that goes beyond that, we can deal with after we have made sure they will have to stay together for some time."

He rubbed his hands in anticipation –_let the games begin_.

ooOoo

Albus, Hermione and Ron spent two days talking to the two stubborn wizards at least four times a day. But their answers would not change. While Snape said the one opportunity he had given Harry, to hurt him, was enough, Harry simply stated that Severus would be near anyways and that his daughter would have every chance to see her other father, without a bonding.

On the third day Harry was allowed to leave the infirmary, but he would have to rest at least 4 hours through the day, in his quarters. Though his classes had been cancelled for another week, the young DADA Professor decided to attend breakfast in the great hall. The gossip mill of Hogwarts was working nicely and all the staff and students would know of his pregnancy by now. Might as well get it over with.

When he entered the Great Hall, the normal noise at feeding time died away. It was totally silent, then like following a silent signal, it started again, even louder than before. To Harry's surprise the students seemed to give him _pitiful _looks. What was going on here? He had expected criticism or rejection, but for sure not _pity_!

Ignoring the glances he made his way to the staff table and took his seat besides Severus. The Potions Master looked definitely angry and Harry knew why, the second the other man tossed a copy of the 'Daily Prophet' onto his empty plate. The headline read in big, flashing letters

**Gay and pregnant! Harry Potter dumped by his lover! **

And right under it, it said

**Harry Potter, savoir of the wizarding world and currently 'Defense against the Dark Arts' Instructor at Hogwarts, is pregnant. His lover and father of his unborn daughter, ex-Death Eater Severus Snape, has now gotten rid of him in the rudest sort of way. In a letter to the Ministry of Magic he stated that he has no intention to claim her as his heir and that anything else regarding his daughter is the responsibility of one Mister Harry Potter alone. Said daughter is the result of a one-night stand initiated by Mr. Potter. The-boy-who-lived was hiding behind Hogwarts walls since the beginning of the term, obviously using a glamour charm to hide his pregnancy. After an accident, a few days ago, when a Bludger hit Mr. Potter during a Quidditch match, his secret was revealed. Rumors say that this was not an actual accident, but the helpless attempt to get rid of a child, Mr. Potter knew his lover would never accept. **

**Read more on page 12**

Snape watched as Harry paled visibly while he read Rita Skeeters lies. The young wizard put down the paper, suddenly not hungry at all. "Severus, we have to talk", he uttered through gritted teeth and stood to leave the hall.

A/N: Sorry it took so long. I was really busy. I hope you tell me if you like it, hate it, have any suggestions? Thanks a lot!


	12. For the sake of our child

A/N: This is to all of you who are scared this story will not end happy: DON'T WORRY! I promise this storry will have a Happy End. I hate storys that end sad.

Beth5570: Be patient and everything is goint to be fine

kimmistar: This story is going to be around 20 chapters long. Is that enough for you? grin

A big THANK YOU to all my other reviewers. I love you dearly!

"**Chapter 12: „For the sake of our child"**

Severus Snape closed the door behind him, a flick of his wrist ensuring their complete privacy. He had followed Harry into this deserted classroom, hoping to get some answers from the young wizard who was radiating fury. Once again, the air was filled with static energy, no matter how hard the young DADA Professor tried to get a grip on his emotions. Harry was frantically pacing the room. Severus could see him taking deep breaths in an attempt to cool down a bit. This only confirmed what should have been obvious all the time – Harry had not known about the article and had nothing to do with it.

"How dare they!" Harry finally exploded, wiping a stack of books to the floor with an angry movement, while passing a table. "What is the matter with those idiots at the Ministry? Do they sell information to that Skeeter woman nowadays? Where else could she have gotten that information? But this time I will not let it go unpunished; this time they will pay – all of them! How dare she write that I would try to kill my own child?"

Severus watched the green eyed wizard in stunned silence. Seeing Harry _this_ enraged was rare indeed. He had now had the _pleasure_ of witnessing it _twice_ in less than a week - a new record. Severus did his best to appear calm though he was practically boiling with anger himself. Harry was supposed to be resting and not working himself into a fit of rage. Merlin only knew what damage he would do to himself or their child if he didn't start to calm down. Determined not to let his control slip, he finally risked to say, "Harry, would you please calm down and take a seat? I don't want you to collapse on me. The last thing I want to have to do is face Poppy and explain why you worked yourself up into a rage instead of resting like she ordered." Harry stared at him for a few seconds and then dropped himself on the nearest chair, burying his head in his hands.

"Oh, and before you ask the answer is no. I have no idea who is responsible for this disaster. Obviously someone is trying to ruin our reputation." Severus did not voice his presumption that this could as well be a trap to trick them into a bond. Albus had been a little bit too determined to make them bond and, if Severus' information was correct, Harry hat gotten the same treatment form his friends. This _could_ be a plan of sorts. He would put nothing past the meddlesome Headmaster.

"This is a catastrophe, Severus," Harry whispered in a thin voice. He felt like crying. Why in Merlin's name could the world not leave him alone? Had he not already done _everything_ they had asked of him?

Sighing heavily with the knowledge that things would never change, and they could not afford to ignore this latest attack he uttered,"We need to set this straight. You did I _not_ /I get rid of me and I did _not_ try to kill my child. It was an _accident_ for Merlin's sake." Suddenly, Harry was hit with the realization that maybe Skeeter was not the only one who thought he wanted to be rid of Ebony. "Severus, please," he said searching the eyes of his child's father for any sign of mistrust. "Tell me that you don't believe that I would try to kill Ebony."

There was something in the younger wizard's eyes that made Snape's skin crawl. He could not quite name the emotion he saw in those green eyes, but it was something strong. It left as quickly as it had appeared, leaving him confused as he stared at the mask that had fallen over Harry's face. He had not seen this particular mask for quite some time, but he knew it well. It was the 'I-am-the-boy-who-lived-and-nothing-scares-me' mask. Suppressing a sigh, he silently agreed that something needed to be done, but the options were few. To be totally honest, there was actually only _one_ real option, but he refused to accept that - it would be an emotional nightmare. After a second though, he sat down on a chair right in front of Harry, meeting the other man's eyes. No need to lie to the youth and make it all harder.

"No," he uttered in a low voice. "Of course I do not believe that you tried to kill your own child. No person who really knows you or is in his right mind would believe that you could possibly do such a thing. You hate killing and you still feel guilty for those we lost in the war. You could never do that to your own daughter. I can see how much you love her and how desperately you try to ... protect her." The stinging pain in his chest came back when he remembered Harry's harsh words in the infirmary. What the youth had said this day had not been an attempt to protect Ebony. Severus was sure Harry had _meant_ to hurt him.

"No, matter how hard we try, they will never leave us alone, will they?" Harry asked suddenly in a low voice. It seemed only now to dawn on him, that Skeeter's malicious story did not only have consequences for his private life. Even if he had rejected the possibility of having a relationship with Snape, he did not wish any more bad publicity on him. He had been through enough of it already. It was one thing if, while in an enraged state, Harry called him an Ex-Death Eater. He knew all to well that it was wrong and hurtful to _ever_ say it, but having him painted like this in public was something else entirely - something more sinister.

Lost in his dark thoughts, Harry suddenly remembered something Severus had said. _'No person who really knows you...'_ Was that true? Did Snape know him? Or was Hermione right and he never gave anyone the chance to truly know him?

**Flashback: Two days ago in the infirmary**

"Harry, you _really_ need to think it over! You can't go on like this forever. You are only making things worse!" Hermione snapped at her best friend.

Staring back at her with a stubborn look upon his face, the green eyed wizard replied, "Oh, now it is _me_ who is making it worse! Don't you forget the little fact that it was _him_ who threatened me? I did not choose to be impregnated by him and _he_ is the one who _demanded_ I bond with him. What do you want from me? What do you expect me to do? Sink in his arms and be grateful forever that he planned to do the 'right thing'? No, thank you. Not going to happen. Anyway, he will be here to see her grow up. He will be near m..." he stumbled over that word and began anew "He will be near _her_ so she will know him and can be with him. We do not need to bond for that."

At his last sentence Hermione frowned, but then realization hit. This was all about closeness and getting hurt. The look in her eyes changed and her voice went soft. Taking Harry's right hand in hers, she said, "This is what really bothers you, isn't it? Severus being close to you. You dropped him bits and pieces of the 'real you' and now you are afraid because he is actually interested. You never allow someone to get close enough to actually love you, or get to know all of you – not even Ron or me. Am I right? I bet you don't know anything about being in a real relationship considering your so called relatives were not exactly the best role models. Though you _did_ attract his attention whether you intended to or not. So what are you going to do about it?" She looked at him, curiously.

"Nothing. I am going to do nothing about it." Harry uttered in a defeated voice. "I admit, I feel attracted to him, but that is not important any more. I am not going to bond with him. There is nothing between us that goes beyond an one night stand with unexpected consequences. Severus is an honorable person, and I am sure he intended to do the right thing, but he likes to be in charge as well. I am not going to hand over my life to him. If he wishes to see Ebony he'll be given every chance to do so, without being bound to me or getting the chance to control me. We can't hope to ever have a real relationship built on mutual attraction...especially not one that starts off like this." The anger in his voice did not cover the pain that was lying underneath it. Hermione felt sorry for her friend who was too scared to see the chance he was letting slip away. Harry snuggled deeper in his bed, turning his back on her, keeping silent. Eventually Hermione left him alone.

ooOoo

Harry came back to the present with a sigh. Whether he liked it or not, Harry realized that he had no other choice. He accepted that there was no other way – he had to bond with Severus. The man had done so much for him and it was not entirely his fault that they were in the current situation, but he needed to be sure about one thing first. Taking a deep breath and hoping his voice would not give away the panic he felt, Harry whispered, "So you really did it? Write to the Ministry I mean?"

"I told you I would do it and I kept my word. I meant it when I said I have no desire to control or hurt you in any way. Why didn't you believe me? Have I given you any reason in the past to not trust my word? How come you are so suspicious lately? What have I done to deserve that?" The Potions Master asked in a low voice, trying hard to keep the pain he felt hidden.

"It is not your fault," Harry admitted. "I don't know why I keep reacting that way. Blame it on the pregnancy if you like. I honestly don't have a better answer," he said with a shrug. "The only thing I know for sure, is that we need to do something. I will not have Ebony or you harmed any further by the press or anyone else." The former Gryffindor did not realize how scared he sounded, how young. "I think..." Harry hesitated. His stomach was all tied up in knots and he felt dizzy. _I can do this_ he kept repeating silently like a mantra, trying to convince himself. He _knew_ he had no other choice, at least none that would allow his daughter a somewhat normal life. It was his Gryffindor bravery that gave him the strength to continue. "I think we should make a contract."

"A contract?" Severus asked, obviously confused and alarmed at Harry's choice of words.

"Yes, a contract," Harry repeated, slightly shaking. "We bond and stay together until Ebony comes of age. For the press and the public we will act as if we fell in love and it was the natural thing to do. We will of course sleep in different beds and if you wish to do so, you can find ... you know... someone else to share your bed with. The only thing I ask is that you will be discreet. I can after all not expect you to live like a celibate for the next 18 years, can I?" Harry tried to joke. In fact, the thought of someone else touching Severus made him jealous and his heart ache.

The Potions Master stared at Harry for a few moments, not sure if he had heard correctly. The youth wanted to bond with him, but only for show? Had he actually offered to turn a blind eye if he chose to have affairs with someone else while being married to him? For some reason this thought angered him more than everything else together and increased the raging pain in his chest. Severus took a moment to calm himself as he tried to think about where Harry was coming from. As he thought about it from the boy's point of view it made a twisted kind of sense. Harry was, after all, an 18 year old with raging hormones. He surely was expecting him to make the same offer in return, so _he_ would not have to live like a celibate either. The thought of Harry having sex with anyone but him angered Severus. _He is pregnant with my child and all he can think about is having sex with someone else_! Severus' anger and hurt were pushed to the side, and his heart missed a beat as he remembered something else.

"Harry, you _do_ know we would have to ... well, share a bed again to make the bond legal, don't you?" He asked the waiting youth. Finally Harry nodded, slowly.

"I know – but it would be only once," He managed to say. "It's not like we haven't done it before, or else I wouldn't be in the current situation. You know we were attracted to each other sexually. I mean, we never had a relationship, but we should be able to manage..." Harry broke off when he realized he was babbling nervously.

Severus just kept staring at him. He had a bad feeling about this. Finally, it was Albus' wish and his expectation that they bond that made him capitulate. If the brat would have him, he would bond with him. Though he was not exactly sure how he was supposed to stand it. It hurt like hell to be near him already, what would happen after they had been bonded and were living together in the same apartment? For 18 years! Death suddenly seemed to be more tempting than that torture - and torture it would be. It was then Harry spoke the words and sealed his fate.

"So it is set. I will go and ask Albus to bond us today. Would you, as my fiancé, join me in the Great Hall to make the announcement? Remember, we do this for the sake of our child. I trust I can count on your talents as actor in convincing everyone that you are in love with me?"

Unable to respond, Severus, pale and drawn only nodded. Somehow he knew he would pay for this dearly.

ooOoo

An hour later Minerva McGonnagal was shooting angry looks at Albus Dumbledore. The old meddlesome fool was sitting behind his desk, smiling innocently, while she paced around the room. Severus and Harry had just left the Headmasters office, assuredthat the old wizard would bond them in the evening.

"This was _your_ work, Albus! I know it. You tricked the two of them into this bonding and they are not going to be happy." She yelled at the meddling old wizard.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled happily. "Calm down, Minerva." He grinned. "Everything will turn out just fine. Believe me, it is the best for them. They love each other but won't admit it. This way they will spend time together and will eventually discover those feelings that they keep hidden. You will see, before long they will be a happy little family."

The elderly witch fumed. "This time you have gone too far, Albus! This is not going to work! You have only managed to make their lives even more miserable and complicated. Remember my words; before long they are going to be at each other's throat. I can see it coming already - this is going to end badly!"

Shaking his head slightly and petting Fawkes, who was sitting in his lap, Albus said, "Oh, Minerva, please don't be so melodramatic. You should never underestimate the power of love."

"And you would do better not to underestimate their stubbornness," McGonnagal spat, leaving the room and banging the door behind herself.

ooOoo


	13. Bonding

risi: Well, yes, that's true, but where would be the fun in it? evil grin

texasjeanette: Sorry, but that would be way too easy. Actually I do not want to rush to get to the romance part. it is happening exactly how it is supposed to be. They all really need to learn a lesson!

sara: GRIN Then it is a good thing that harry is a bit more forgiving, than you are, huh?

Alia D: Your feeling is good.....

Amanda Saitou: I promised a Happy End, remember? grin

Xicum: I promise, in the end they will be very happy. Yes, Harry is a bit out of it, but it is not only the pregnancy doing this to him, it is his fear!

**Chapter 13: Bonding**

The time for the bonding ceremony came much too soon for Severus' taste. He stood in his chambers and looked at his image in the mirror, finding acceptable what he saw. He did not wear his usual black robes but a dark green, the silver clasp Harry had given him sparkling at the front. He didn't know why he had put it on now, when he had never even removed it from it's box before.

His thoughts drifted to another piece of jewelry he was about to wear soon – the wedding rings. He had no idea what they would look like, for the one performing the ceremony would chose them; which would be Albus in this case. The rings were more than just marriage symbols; they were magical items, enchanted to vanish should the bond not be completed within 48 hours after the ceremony had been performed. Once the bond was completed, the rings could not be removed until the bond had been ended officially - which, in their case, would be in a bit more than 17 years. _Marked as Harry Potters property, for everyone to see. _Snape thought bitterly.

Sighing heavily the Potions Master looked around his rooms one last time. He was not sure if his chambers would be expanded and Harry would live with him, or vice versa - maybe they would even get new chambers. He could not imagine to _not _live in the dungeons, or at Slytherin territory. He was the head of the Slytherin house after all! On the other hand, he was not quite sure if he wanted his daughter to be raised in the dungeons, not to mention that he couldn't see someone so _Gryffindor_ like Harry being happy at Slytherin grounds. However it would be, he did not like the thought of losing his privacy like that. Having Harry around all the time, having him so _close _would be difficult and unnerving.

_Be careful what you wish for, it could come true..._Severus thought sarcastically when he remembered how lonely he had felt a short time ago. Now he was not really sure which was the greater torture, feeling lonely and longing for the youth while knowing he was out of reach, or having him near but not being able to act on the desire. _I suppose I will find out soon_.

ooOoo

The great hall was decorated with flowers and lit by even more candles than usual. In the middle of the room there was an altar with nothing on it but two white candles and the bonding rings Albus had chosen for them. The Hogwarts staff was there, along with Hermione and the complete Weasley Family. They all surrounded the couple in a wide circle, Harry and Severus standing in the middle, facing each other.

Exactly one hour after sunset, the ceremony began.

Harry shivered. He was about to bond with a man who had never shown more than a casual interest in him. He knew Severus would never return his feelings of love and passion, he was only doing this because he had impregnated him. A wave of overwhelming sadness hit Harry as Albus began to speak.

"Greetings family and friends, this is a day for celebration and thanksgiving. We are gathered to witness the marriage of Harry and Severus. They have invited us to share in the commitment they make to each other today. They ask your blessing on this solemn and joyful occasion. If life has any meaning to us at all, it possesses it because of love." The old wizard, dressed in bright purple robes, smiled happily and his eyes twinkled even more than usual.

Severus felt sick. His stomach was all tied up in knots and the Headmasters words seemed to come from far away. This was worse than any nightmare he had ever had. He was about to be bound to a man who did not love him, bound to stay with him for the next 17 years in a 'relationship' that did not even deserve this title because it was based on a _contract._ On top of it he would have to act as if he enjoyed his married life, knowing that the love that shone out of the other man's eyes was nothing but a brilliant act. A few hours ago, when Harry had announced that they would be bonded, the look on his face had hurt more than any curse the Dark Lord had ever used on him.

_Who am I trying to fool?_ Severus thought sarcastically, not paying attention to Albus' words at all. _Harry was the only person I ever truly loved in my whole life. He and Ebony make my life worth living. I would do anything for them and I will take whatever the youth is willing to give, no matter how small. I know I am a fool to hope he might one day love me back, but I can't help it._

The Potions Master was pulled from his thoughts when Albus stepped up to them and asked Harry, "What is your desire?"

The young wizard smiled brightly and answered, "To be made one with Severus." He really looked like he meant it, but Harry had always been a great actor.

Then, the Headmaster turned to him. Severus hoped his voice would not betray him and give away that this was not for real. It would be fatal should anyone besides Ron, Hermione or Minerva guess what was going on.

"What is your desire?" Albus asked and to his own surprise, Severus found it to be the truth when he answered, "To be made one with Harry."

Taking his wand and uttering a spell in Harry's direction, the Headmaster spoke to Harry, "Repeat after me: I, Harry Potter, do come here of my own free will, to seek the partnership of Severus Snape. I come with love, honor and sincerity, wishing only to become one with him, whom I love. Always will I strive for Severus' happiness and welfare."

Harry swallowed. Yes, he was here of his own free will, but that didn't mean anything. He had once again been forced to do what others expected him to do; what was best for his daughter and for Severus. It was not what he had planned for his life. Yes, he had wanted to be with Severus, had wanted to find out what it was like to be in a real partnership with a person he loved, what it was like to be loved for himself and not for his so called fame. He had gotten nothing of it. Yes, he was about to bond with Severus, but that was about all. It would be nothing like a real marriage. Severus did not love him and was not likely to fall for him either, all there had been was physical attraction. Why else would it have been so easy to accept the walls Harry had put up between them? Why else had he accepted the bonding contract without any argument, if not out of responsibility? Severus would get nothing out of this 'relationship' not even control over him or Ebony.

Forcing himself to smile again, Harry repeated, "I, Harry Potter, do come here of my own free will, to seek the partnership of Severus Snape. I come with love, honor and sincerity, wishing only to become one with him, whom I love. Always will I strive for Severus' happiness and welfare."

If it only were the truth.

Severus felt a sinking feeing in his stomach as Albus spoke the spell upon him and then addressed him, saying, "Repeat after me: I Severus Snape, do come here of my own free will, to seek the partnership of Harry Potter. I come with love, honor and sincerity, wishing only to become one with him, whom I love. Always will I strive for Harry's happiness and welfare."

Without hesitation Severus repeated his vows.

Every word was true. To bond with the man he loved and adored was everything he had ever dreamed of – and yet it was so wrong. It was wrong because Harry did not – and would never - love him back. It was wrong because he, Severus, did not deserve someone so pure and wonderful. It was wrong because Harry would never have bonded with him had he had been pregnant. His young husband would have deserved to marry someone he loved.

Albus, who had turned to the altar and cast a spell upon the wedding bands, now handed each of them an identical ring. Severus looked at the ring he held, finding it beautiful and somehow very fitting. The ring was made of silver and gold, entwined in each other, melting into each other, not clearly visible where one or the other started or ended.

Now addressing the both of them, the Headmaster spoke, "As the grass of the fields and the trees of the woods bend together under the pressures of the storm, so too must you both bend when the wind blows strong. Know that as quickly as a storm comes, it is about to leave Yet will you both stand strong in each others strength. As you give love, so you will receive it. As you give strength, so will you receive strength. Together you are one, apart you are as nothing. So change your anger for love, tears for joy. It is no weakness to admit a wrong, more is it a strength and a sign of eternal growth.

Ever love, help and respect each other.

The constant circle of the love you share is symbolized in these rings. Let them be a token of your friendship and the partnership you have come to celebrate on this day. When the waters are rough, let these rings remind you of the ebb and flow of life. Let them remind you of the happiness you feel at this moment, and let your memory soothe your spirit."

_Happiness of this moment?_ Harry thought sarcastically. _What happiness?_ He just wanted it to be over. It was all a farce. He couldn't stand it any more. All this talk about love and standing to each other. He did not want to hear that, did not need to be told by Albus what he would never have. A real partnership based on love, friendship, trust and respect. A marriage he would not want to ever end. A childish dream that would never come true.

Feeling as though he was in a trance, Harry took hold of Severus' hand and slipped the ring on his finger. The Potions Master's skin was even colder than his own. A moment later he felt Severus do the same to him, the cool metal of the ring seemed to burn his skin. Only seconds later, Albus declared them bonded and the Weasleys, Hermione and all the others rushed forward to congratulate the newly weds.

It was a nightmare.

ooOoo

New quarters it was. 'New quarters for the beginning of a new life' the Headmaster had said, eyes twinkling madly. And here they were, standing in their new living room. Cozy furniture in front of the fireplace, the room decorated in warm, earthy colors.

Severus went over to the doors that lead into the other rooms. A big bathroom with an oversized tub, a guestroom, a room that had already been turned into a complete nursery ... and the bedroom. A fluttering feeling settled into Severus' stomach when he reached that room. It was beautiful. In the middle of the room was a large four poster bed with royal-blue curtains. The rest of the room, the fabric of the furniture and the carpet where different shades of the same color.

"Very nice" a voice said from behind him. Harry had followed him into the room. "Do you mind if I take this room?" The youth asked. "The guestroom is almost the same size but I like the colors in here better." He said.

Severus didn't care in which room he would be sleeping. It would be away from Harry anyways, except for tonight.

As if the young wizard had read his thoughts, he passed Snape and began to unbutton his robes, revealing a nicely rounded belly. Severus followed his every move with his eyes. Finally, as if realizing the other man had not moved, Harry said, "Come on Severus, undress. You know we need to complete the bond within the next 48 hours. Might as well get it over with."

His words hit Severus full force, leaving a burning pain in his chest.

Harry caught his hurt expression and uttered, "Please, Sev, don't look at me like that. You know I am right. No need to make it any more difficult, don't you agree? We can stop pretending and face the facts – we don't love each other. Period. We do this for Ebony and to be left in peace by the press and the rest of the wizarding world. It's been a long day, why don't we act on that bit of physical attraction that left me in the current state and enjoy a night in bed together? After tonight you will never have to touch me again. So, come here..." he reached his hands out to Severus, praying inwardly, _Please, Severus, please. Don't make it harder on me than it already is. I can't take that – I can't take this look in your eyes. I can let you near my body, but I can not let you near my heart again. I'm not strong enough to go through this again._

Severus winced slightly when Harry referred to the night they had spent together as a 'bit of physical attraction'. _Trust the brat to say it straight to my face that he doesn't love me. Not that I hadn't known already..._

Concentrating on the task at hand and telling himself to enjoy and cherish every single moment he would have with his young husband, Severus finally gave in and began to slowly open his robes.

Harry watched him, as his fingers undid the silver clasp and some buttons. "You are wearing my gift," he stated.

The Potions Master nodded, "I thought it fit...."

_You don't know how wrong you are _Harry though bitterly. _That clasp was a gift of love, but the farce we were playing today has nothing at all to do with love._

He continued to undo his robes and the clothes beneath, but was stopped when his _husband_stepped close to him and pushed away his hands, uttering, "Let me undress you, please? I've wanted to do that for a long time now."

Harry dropped his arms, allowing Severus to remove his robes and unbutton the dark shirt he was wearing beneath. At the first touch of the other man's hands on his heated skin, Harry was barely able to suppress a gasp. It felt incredible. He tried his best not to move or make a sound when Severus moved his hands over his swollen belly, the Potions Master gasping in awe when Ebony moved a bit under his hands.

When the Potions Master finally leaned forward to plant feathery kisses along Harry's jaw line, his throat and down to his shoulders, a bit of memory shot through the young wizard. Startled, he pulled away from the warm mouth on his skin.

Severus looked up. "What is wrong? Are you alright, Harry? Did I do something you don't like?" He asked, a worried expression on his face.

Puzzled, Harry shook his head. "No, it felt good. It's just... You've done that before, right? I mean, ... the night I got pregnant, ... the night of the victory party...." He broke off, not quite sure what he felt or wanted to say.

The older wizard looked at him in surprise, "You remember that night?"

Harry, who still looked a bit confused just murmured, "I am not sure, it is only bits and pieces, but..." he broke off unable to say more. In his memory, Severus was whispering wonderful things to him and Harry had the strange feeling that his body and his heart had somehow _known _who he was sleeping with – Severus, the man he loved, and not some party guest.

How could that be?


	14. Falling apart

**WARNING:**

This chapter has been **massively edited!** It has been altered to fit the **rules** of this site to not having anything up that is above **R** rating. The **original version** of this chapter is much more **graphic **and definitely **NC-17**. For those of you who wish to read the unedited original, please check out the links provided in my user info

I hope that you still will let me know what you think of it. This is the most stubborn (and graphic) chapter I have ever written and I would like your opinion.

I am sorry it took me so long to finish this chap, but to make up for the long wait, it is double length.

I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 14: Falling apart**

"I'm not sure we did the right thing," Hermione murmured. She and the other party guests were still in the great hall, eating, talking and enjoying each others company. Severus and Harry had left some time ago.

"What do you mean, Mione?" Ron asked, a puzzled look upon his face.

"What I mean, is that I'm no longer certain that it was a good idea to trick Harry and Severus into this bonding," she said. "They didn't look happy at all and I really have a bad feeling about it."

She broke off when Ron shot her a look of pure disbelief. "You have a bad feeling about it?" he asked. "Don't you think it's a bit too late for such thoughts? You agreed to the plan, remember?"

Rolling her eyes in an impatient gesture, Hermione tried again, "Well, _now_ I think that we shouldn't have done it in the first place. Did you ever think about what might happen should Harry find out about this? If he finds out that _we_ were the ones who deliberately violated his privacy? That we _planned_ all of this to make them bond - something they clearly didn't want to until then? That could be the end of our friendship, you know."

"Oh, _please_ Hermione, don't be so pessimistic. You'll see, everything will turn out just fine. Professor Dumbledore thinks that, too. I bet Snape and Harry are enjoying themselves, shagging each other senseless in order to complete the bond." Then, as if he had just realized what he said and what images it created, he shuddered visibly. That earned him a disapproving look from his girlfriend and he hurried to add, " I think I should shut up now" and turned his attention to the plate in front of him. Hermione sighed; she had a bad feeling about how this would all turn out and for once she hoped she was wrong.

OoOoo

_How could that be?_

Deciding that the 'hows' and 'whys' could wait, Harry concentrated on the wonderful feelings Severus' fingers created on his skin as he began to touch Harry's body again. Harry felt like he was on fire. His breathing was ragged and he gasped as Severus' fingertips brushed over a sensitive nipple. It seemed his husband was enjoying touching him, as much as Harry was enjoying his caresses.

Harry became so caught up in the overwhelming sensations that he didn't even notice as his remaining clothing was removed and that Severus knelt in front of him. A throaty moan escaped Harry and he reached down to tangle his hands in the silky strands of his husband's hair, pulling him closer in the process. The sensations were overwhelming and soon became too much for Harry to bear.

At the same time, Severus was completely lost in the feelings Severus' head spun with desire. He wanted Harry so badly. Severus was not sure how he had gone without this for such a long time or how he was supposed to live through the next seventeen years knowing what he had lost. Harry suddenly drew back.

Harry pushed his lover away carefully when he felt his knees go weak and dropped himself onto the bed - which was fortunately directly behind him. His skin was on fire and his arousal was almost painful. What Severus was doing to him was pleasure and torture at the same time. Harry had to admit, he was enjoying this more than he had ever thought possible. Oh, Harry had known that it would be pleasant, but he had never even dreamed of the feelings Severus managed to evoke in him. Although he was more aroused than he had ever been – as far as he could remember – a slight unease stirred in the pit of his stomach. It was like something was _off_. He could not put a finger on it, nor could he name it. It was like something important was missing - something he felt he was supposed to know or to do, or to say.

It couldn't possibly be the desire to tell Severus about his true feelings, could it?

What he had told Severus about feeling only physical attraction for him was what he had believed his husband was feeling and expecting to hear – this was after all a marriage based on a contract. After experiencing the pleasures of Severus' talented mouth he was not so sure any more. This was _different_ – it was _more_. There was something else, something Harry could not identify, something he could not name. It was almost like…

_No! Stop it!_ Harry told himself before his thoughts could continue to drift into an unhealthy direction. Severus _did not_ love him and never would. He needed to remind himself that his bond mate had agreed to marry him out of responsibility and necessity. It was the logical thing to do – nothing more, nothing less.

To distract himself from his unpleasant thoughts, Harry concentrated on the naked body of his husband, who was now standing in front of the bed, watching him. The expression on Severus' face was unreadable. Severus' pale skin looked almost translucent in the light of the candles and his lean, muscular body was simply _beautiful_ in Harry's eyes.

The very same thought crossed Severus' mind as he looked down at his green eyed mate. _Beautiful, simply beautiful_. Severus stood there for a moment, admiring the view of the man he loved, lying on the bed, waiting for him. It was like his deepest dream coming true, though Severus knew it would not last. Before long they would have completed the bond and his young husband would sleep alone – or worse, search for someone else to share his bed. The mere thought made Severus' heart ache. Harry was _his_, and his alone. No-one should be allowed to touch his husband, his mate, the only person he truly loved. Unfortunately, Harry didn't seem to agree on that, since he had brought up the topic of other lovers.

From his position on the bed, Harry watched as suddenly a strange look crossed his husband's face, only to vanish almost instantly. Harry wondered what it had been. Had Severus realized what he was about to do? Were the events of the day finally sinking in? Was Severus regretting it? Harry couldn't have that. Reaching out to his newly wed husband he purred in a low voice, "Come here. I want to touch you."

A low growl emerged from the other mans throat as he sank down on the bed and covered Harry's body with his own. It was pure bliss. Skin on skin, bodies aligned perfectly. Harry thought he would die then and there from sheer arousal, but things got even better.

Slowly, Severus moved down along Harry's squirming body. Kissing, sucking and carefully biting his way down Harry's chest Severus moved further down, when he dipped his tongue into Harry's bellybutton - almost expecting his daughter to move again - Harry's body arched up off the bed. Looking up, Severus saw that he had the wooden headboard in a vice like grip, his knuckles turning white.

Severus covered Harry's belly with even more soft kisses, lovingly tracing his fingers over the heated skin. Harry gasped and once again tried to arch off the bed, but this time Severus had his hips pinned down with his hands. Severus enjoyed how Harry reacted to his administrations. He knew Harry was close to the edge already and this thought turned Severus on even more.

Severus continued his ministrations, brought Harry to release and moved up the bed to settle right beside his heavily panting lover. Sweaty strands of hair clinging to his skin, his face flushed and heated, Harry definitely looked delicious. Severus heart ached at the thought that someone else would see his husband like this. Pushing away this unpleasant thought, Severus listened to Harry's wild heartbeat, as he lay beside him.

Silence fell over the room.

"Why did you do that?" Harry asked after he caught his breath. This had been one of the most amazing experiences in his whole life, but he really didn't understand why Severus had done it. After a moment, his husband answered.

"Because I want you to last, when you finally take me." Severus stated matter of fact-ly. Why did Harry have to ask and break the comfortable silence they had shared? Sighing slightly, he explained, "You were already too close to the edge to complete the task. But since you are an eighteen year old with raging hormones, I really doubt it will take you very long to get ready again."

That comment made Harry look up in confusion. He had thought it would be the other way round – that Severus would be making love to him. He just could not picture Severus as the receiving part in this little game for two. Harry rolled to his side and propped himself up on one elbow. Frowning, he looked Severus straight in the eyes and asked, "Me? But I thought…"

"You thought what?" Severus interrupted him. It angered him that Harry always seemed to see him as an extremely dominating person. He, of all people, should know better than that. In a cool voice he continued, "You assumed that it would be the other way around? No way. If you think I will risk the life of our daughter by shagging you senseless, then you are a fool. Think again."

ooOoo

Severus had been right, it had not taken long to arouse Harry again. With kisses, bites and caresses, Severus had managed to set him on fire again in no time. However, contrary to the somewhat lovingly attention Severus had paid his husband earlier, now the whole ordeal seemed to take on a more business-like quality.

Harry couldn't quite put a finger on it, but something about Severus felt off. It was as if the nearer they came to the actual shagging, the more Severus seemed to shut him out. Harry could not think of a reason, besides Severus' obvious problems with giving up control. It would not be the first time they were intimate together and Severus had been the one to insist on being bottom.

Finally, Harry decided that it might be his nerves that made him see things that were not there. Severus had been very passionate the whole evening through and from the bits Harry could remember, the night of the victory party as well. Maybe his bonded was as nervous as Harry was himself and that was the reason why he acted different now. They were, after all, about to complete the bond and seal their fates for about the next 17 years. Harry was startled out of his thoughts, when Severus gripped his shoulder tightly and tried to get his attention.

"How do you want me?" Severus asked in a neutral tone.

Harry had to suppress a moan at this question. Images of his love in various positions crossed his mind until he got himself under control. After thinking about it for a moment, he panicked slightly. How was he supposed to get through this? He could not look into Severus face while making love to him. That was impossible. He was too scared of what he would see – or _not_ see: LOVE. His decision was made quickly.

"On your hands and knees!" he commanded in the same tone Severus had used.

His husband obeyed instantly. Turing away from him on the bed, Severus arranged himself for Harry.

Maybe things would have been different had Harry noticed the hurt and slightly panicked look in his husbands eyes.

He did not. Instead, Harry reached out and began to caress and massage Severus' back and lower, he tried to further arouse his husband.

It still somehow felt wrong.

Taking a deep breath, Severus did his best to not tense and flinch away from Harry's touch. He had thought it would be easier, he had thought he could do this. He had hoped he would be able to see Harry's face while doing it; it seemed like fate was against him. Slowly, but steadily, a creeping cold settled into Severus' stomach. His mind, his intellect _knew_ this was Harry touching him - his husband, the person he loved above everything in the world, but his body was betraying him. Memories, buried deep inside him, sprang to life – rough hands touching him, holding him in place, hurting him.

Life as a Death Eater and spy had not been easy by any means and pain had been a constant factor in his life. After some time he had gotten used to being hit with the Cruciatus curse, and the fact that Voldemort enjoyed watching when his Death Eaters 'performed' for him - refusal equaled death. It didn't lessen the pain though, nor did it help with the nightmares. Severus had assumed he would be able to handle the bonding, having spent a night with Harry already and knowing Harry was the one person he loved. He had hoped that the knowledge that Harry would never willingly hurt him, would be enough to keep the memories in check. He was proven wrong.

Harry felt Severus tremble and sensed that this had nothing at all to do with arousal. Knowing of Severus' problems with giving up control, but oblivious to the depth of the damage done, he began to rub his husbands back soothingly. "Relax, Severus. Everything is alright. I won't harm you, I promise. You are still in control, you can tell me to stop whenever you feel like it. Severus, do you hear want I'm saying? This is going to be alright."

Hearing Harry murmur words of comfort, Severus felt utterly ashamed to have shown any weakness. Pulling himself together and aiming for a neutral tone, he said, "I am alright, Harry, don't worry. This is just a very unusual situation for me, but nothing that really matters. You do know very well we don't have the luxury of getting better accustomed to this situation. So please do not further worry about me, I believe you were about to 'seduce' me"

For a moment he sounded like the person Harry had known before the war had begun, the man he had been before he had allowed Harry to see behind his mask.

"If you say so," Harry uttered and reluctantly began to stoke Severus again.

Severus gasped, surprised, he noticed that it felt different than he had anticipated - _very_ different. Of course, he knew how it was done, he had done it to Harry 'that night' after all – it was just that it had never been done to him before. It was one of those things his intellect had known, but he had never actually experienced.

Careful not to cause Severus pain in any way, Harry continued his ministrations. The moment he found what he sought, his husband hissed in pleasure. "Liked that, huh?" Harry stated, the smirk he could not hide evident in his voice.

Oh yes, it _was_ pleasant. Very pleasant indeed. If Harry kept evoking these feelings in him, Severus thought, then he would not mind his role in their love making – not at all. He had not known it could actually feel this good.

By the time Harry decided Severus was ready for him, his husband was writhing in pleasure beneath him. "Are you ready, Severus?"

"Yes, go on." Severus managed to choke out. Though Harry had him made feel so good, Severus panicked slightly at the first touch. Once again, Harry seemed to sense it and the young wizard rubbed his back soothingly once more.

"Relax for me, Severus, breathe. It is going to be ok, trust me." His voice was warm, gentle and reassuring.

Severus squeezed his eyes shut when he and Harry finally joined, but the pain he expected never came. This wasn't bad, not bad at all.

Harry willed himself to go slowly and not hurt his love.

Harry held still to collect himself, and to give his husband time to adjust. Breathing deeply, Harry tried to get his arousal under control. At this moment, Severus shifted his hips. Harry gasped and gripped Severus' hips, a strangled sound escaping his throat.

"Damn, Harry, move, you are killing me here!" Severus panted, trying to make Harry take some action. This felt so much better he could have ever imagined.

When Harry didn't react, Severus tried to move himself, but that didn't work either, because his husband had his hips in a tight grip.

Finally, Harry took mercy on Severus and shifted his hips a bit. This time Severus moaned in pleasure.

"More!" Severus demanded in a husky voice and Harry gladly obeyed. Yes, he knew this feeling all too well, and he remembered that he himself had begged for 'more' the night of the victory party. Oh, yes, certain things he _did_ remember now.

Severus was murmuring incoherent words and was trying to meet his every movement by now. Harry knew, his love was as close to the edge as he was himself.

"That's it, Severus, … " Harry murmured when he felt his husband was nearing completion. Harry was totally unaware of the magic seeping through their bodies as they continued.

Then, feeling Severus reach release, Harry reached his own climax with a strangled cry.

Severus dropped himself onto the bed, feeling like his bones had turned to jelly. Harry fell on top of him.

Panting heavily Harry pressed a gentle kiss to the damp piece of skin that was Severus' neck and whispered a sleepy "I love you, Sev!"

Severus froze. Had he heard right? Had Harry really murmured something about 'love', or was this all a product of wishful thinking? Severus needed to know whether or not it had been real. Moving slowly under Harry, who was still lying on top of him, he tried to struggle free and look his husband in the eyes – to no avail. He was caught under Harry.

Holding his breath, he finally asked in a hollow voice, "What did you just say?"

This time, Harry froze. How could he let something like that slip? Had he really been so careless as to say it out loud? Oh Merlin, what a mess. Severus was never supposed to know about the feelings he was trying so desperately to hide. Thinking fast, he said the only thing that came to his mind at that moment.

"I said, 'I love to shag you.'"

ooOoo

A good fuck. A casual shag. That was all he was and all he would ever be to his handsome young husband.

It seemed like an eternity since Harry had said those words to him and still the pain would not go away. Slowly, but steadily, Severus turned back to the man he had been; the man he had been before the war had ended – before the friendship to a burdened young man had changed him so much.

Now the old Snape was back.

The ever sarcastic, taking housepoints, giving detention kind of person none of the students had wished to ever see again. Still, when Harry and Severus were together in public, they kept acting like the happily married couple. Soon the rumors were that Snape would turn back into his "balanced" self, once his young husband had given birth and they could share the bed again. Indeed, the Potions Master had not touched Harry since the wedding night – which had nothing to do with the pregnancy or any of Poppy's directions, but with Harry warding his door.

As expected, Harry had started to lock the door to his quarters right after the wedding night and the topic of sharing a bed had never been discussed again. Harry seemed to have no interest in sex with his husband at all and Severus would never had admitted it, even if he felt differently.

Though they were the happy couple to the outside world, what was going on behind the closed door of their quarters was pure hell.

After their lessons and dinner at the Great Hall, the two of them would spend their time reading in front of the fireplace, grading papers or preparing lessons. Every now and then they would play a game of chess together, Severus usually winning. It was all about courtesy; the peaceful friendship, the talks, the time when they could just relax in each others company – this time was gone. Sometimes it felt to them like their closeness had never existed.

Slowly this strain was taking it's toll on Harry as well.

Those who noticed it besides Severus thought it to be the side-effects of the pregnancy, but a few others knew the _real_ reason why Harry looked so sad and tired all the time, lately. It was their farce of a marriage.

Harry's eyes lost their shimmer and he was seen with hanging shoulders, like a heavy burden was pressing him down. He looked worse than he had before the final battle. The 'glow' that had surrounded him from the beginning of his pregnancy faded away; he now looked pale all the time.

It was somehow fitting that their first big fight should happen on Christmas eve…

ooOoo

Severus stormed angrily into their living room where Harry sat in front of a beautiful Christmas tree, reading.

"When exactly had you planned on telling me that Madame Pomfrey is concerned about your health? She says you are depressed and that she asked you to reduce teaching until Ebony is born, but you refused to do so. She also told me she had ordered that you rest for an hour after lunch. Poppy just asked me if you were following her instructions. I can't remember seeing you lie down during the day, and most of the time you are not even in our quarters during lunch break. What the hell did you think? Did you think at all? Are you _trying_ to endanger our child or is it that you just don't care? Ebony is my daughter, too!"

Harry, who had been startled when Severus came rushing into the room now definitely looked angry.

"Oh, like I could ever forget that little fact. It is what put us in this situation in the first place, isn't it? I know very well that you are concerned about Ebony's well-being. Are you scared the brood-mare could damage your precious heir?" Harry hissed sarcastically. "Oh – I forgot, she isn't your heir, is she?"

Harry got up, his eyes shooting daggers. Suddenly the air around him began to swirl and an aura surrounded him – once again glowing in an angry green.

Severus tried to say something but Harry stopped him.

"No! Now you listen to me! I am sick and tired of this little game. Something has to change. Do you realize all we ever talk about is school lessons and my health? There was a time when I was a friend, not just someone who was carrying your child due to a mere accident." Harry yelled at his stunned husband.

"Being around each other is like walking on eggshells, and it's driving me insane. I won't have it any more." At his last word all the glass ornaments on the Christmas-tree burst, sending tiny glass pieces flying through the room.

Harry didn't seem to realize what was going on around him.

Then, suddenly a panicked look crossed the younger wizards face and Severus watched in horror as a wave of pure white magical energy emerged from Harry's body. The power of the outburst made the furniture shake and almost sent the Potions Master flying into the nearest wall. Severus watched helplessly as his husband sank to the floor as though it was happening in slow-motion – unconscious.

ooOoo

Severus watched in silence as the medi-witch cast spell after spell upon his unconscious mate. She had not said a single word to him since he had brought Harry to the infirmary and had told her what had happened. Finally, after what seemed like eternity to Severus, Poppy addressed him, a puzzled look upon her face.

"Severus, are you sure things happened exactly as you told me? You did not leave out something or well, 'change' it to spare Harry trouble?"

The Potions Master looked at her in disbelief, "Are you serious, woman? Why would I lie to you when this concerns the health of my husband and daughter? Why would I do such a stupid thing? Of course everything happened exactly as I told you. Why do you ask? Speak up already! What is the matter?"

"Well, Severus, the results I get from Harry are very unusual. It seems like Harry's results are somehow mixing up with Ebony's. This is the only logical answer I have for the strange results I get from my scans. Harry's and Ebony's combined magical power is quite a bit to handle. I guess when Harry became enraged, Ebony got upset as well. This caused Harry to lose control over his own magical powers and triggered Ebony's magic to flow as well. It became too much for him to handle and he got rid of it the only way possible – letting go completely. This is all I can come up with at the moment. It is almost impossible that all this magical power is Harry's own," She said, adding a silent _If it were you never could have impregnated him._

"What does that mean for him?" Severus asked, concerned that Harry or Ebony could have been harmed in any way during their argument.

"It means," Poppy began and patted Severus hand slightly, "that your husband is exhausted because he drained himself and little Ebony of a large amount of their magic. Nothing serious, though. He will need some sleep now and a lot of rest during the next few days, but he has not done any permanent harm to himself or your daughter. Go and sit with him, he should wake soon." With that she left Severus alone.

ooOoo

"I'm sorry!" Harry murmured as soon as he woke. Severus, who had been sitting by his bed, holding his hand for the past hour smiled at him when he saw the younger man stir.

"No, you were right." Severus said quietly. He needed to say what was on his mind, needed to make sure Harry would not upset himself again. It was, after all, partially his fault that Harry was unhappy. So he said, "I should have shown more interest in you and your concerns. It's just…" he broke off, unable to say what he wanted to say.

"It's just WHAT?" Harry asked and watched the Potions master carefully.

"It is just that …" _I can't stand it to have you near and not be able to touch you or hold you; to show you how much I love you._ "I am not used to having someone around all the time. I will try to change my behavior. It's not like we need to rush anything." He said and rubbed his wedding band absentmindedly before adding, "We have several years to get accustomed to living together."


	15. Chain reaction

**Chapter 15: Chain reaction**

Harry woke from his nightmare with a start, feeling disoriented for a moment, then reality sank in and he sighed. The familiar dry feeling of the skin on his face told him, that he had cried himself to sleep once again; like he had done every single day since his wedding night. Their fight on Christmas eve had not changed things as much as he had hoped. Yes, Severus was trying, that much was obvious, but that didn't change the fact that Harry _knew_ he was trying and that this 'peace' was not for real. Severus shouldn't have to pretend to be comfortable around him, when he was not.

Sighing, Harry rose from his bed and put on a dark robe. It was not the first time he cursed the circumstances that had lead to their hasty bonding. How he wished they had gotten the chance to do this of their own accord. Maybe, just maybe, there would have been a chance for happiness then; but now everything was ruined. Harry knew Severus was not happy either, he could see it in his husbands eyes every time he looked at him. There was a sadness lingering in them that he had never expected to see again.

Silently opening the door, Harry left his room and headed over to the nursery. Moonlight filled the room and threw a pattern on the floor. In one corner of the room there was a rocking chair and in the other corner there was a beautiful crib. Albus had insisted every child needed a Teddy bear and so there was a fluffy brown bear in the bed, waiting for Ebony to take it into her tiny arms.

Harry felt his throat tighten and his eyes filled with tears as he thought about her. Ebony, his reason for getting up every morning. She was what he focused on when he felt like breaking down. Yes, he had taken Poppy's advice and had reduced teaching. He was sleeping more and taking long lonely walks around the lake, but he could not fill the emptiness inside him; not even his little girl could take away that feeling.

Madame Pomfrey had called it pregnancy induced mood swings and sometimes depression, but Harry knew what was making his heart ache and brought tears to his eyes every night – and that had nothing to do with pregnancy hormones at all. It was the fact that he was caught in a marriage with a man he loved deeply, but who did not love him in return. By now he felt like he would rather face Voldemort over and over again, than to have to live with this pain for the next 17 years. Still, he knew, to end the contract would solve nothing at all.

Taking one last look at the nursery, he turned and walked back to his room. Spelling on a pair of warm socks and different shoes – he could not reach his feet so easily any more - he grabbed his invisibility cloak out of a drawer and slipped it over himself. He desperately needed a walk around the castle. Though he was a teacher now, and it was perfectly within the rules to be outside his rooms in the middle of the night, Harry still preferred not to be seen at all. Fortunately he had – just before he had destroyed Voldemort he had managed to convince the castle to work with him to ensure his privacy, allowing him to move about without it giving Albus his location. It was liberating knowing it was almost impossible to detect his location most of the time.

Careful to not make any noise and wake his husband, Harry slipped out of their quarters and into the cool night air of the castle corridors.

ooOoo

With a flick of his wand Severus lit all the candles in his bedroom. It was 3 am and Harry was out in the castle again. He knew his young husband did this kind of thing often lately and it confirmed that Harry was as restless as he had thought. When Voldemort had still been alive, and Harry had been woken by an exceptionally cruel nightmare or vision, he used to wander around the castle; Severus had known that.

Suppressing the urge to throw something against the nearest wall, Severus decided to dress and wait for Harry's return in the living room. They needed to talk and they needed to do it soon; this whole situation was unbearable. To Severus it was very obvious that Harry was extremely unhappy in their marriage and it pained him to see the man he loved, like that.

Something needed to be done, and if that something was to end the contract, then so be it. He would not have Harry suffer any longer when all that would happen to him, Severus, would be more public harassing. He was used to it, having posed as a Death Eater for so long; he knew what it meant to be despised. It was a small price to pay for Harry's happiness.

As he dressed in his teaching robes, Severus thought about the last few months. He knew that Harry did not _really_ feel better, he was just hiding his pain better. If only Harry had known how useless it was. Severus had been able to see behind all of his masks for a long time now. Oh, yes, he knew of Harry's pain, and what he could see in those emerald eyes made his heart ache.

Maybe it just wasn't supposed to be. Maybe they were just not meant for each other after all. Maybe it was better to end it now before they irreversibly damaged what was left of their friendship. Maybe Harry deserved someone better than an old, worn out Potions Master with not much to offer to a young, handsome man.

With that thought Severus made himself comfortable in a chair in front of the fire.

OoOoo

Harry walked around the castle without any real destination. He went where his feet carried him and he was surprised when he heard loud, angry voices from the direction of the staff room. That surprised Harry. It was, after all, around 3 am and the staff should be sleeping at this time, shouldn't they?

_Yeah, right, just like you are sleeping…_ the little voice in Harry's head hissed sarcastically.

Intrigued, Harry moved silently closer, careful to not attract any attention, though he doubted the two fighting wizards would notice him above their yelling. Surprised, Harry identified the two voices as the ones of the Headmaster and his Deputy Headmistress. When he finally reached the slightly open door, he could understand what Minerva was yelling. What he heard made his stomach turn to ice and something in him broke.

" … told you so Albus! I told you it would end badly, but you never listen to what I say. This time you have gone too far. Can't you see what it is doing to them? Can't you see how they suffer? What did you think, Albus? That they would happily settle into a marriage that was pressed upon them by you and those imbecile kids? That …" she was interrupted by a very stressed sounding Headmaster.

"Minerva, please, you know what we did was for their own good. Without this bonding … "

"Without this bonding Harry would not have a depression and Severus would not act like a bitter old man once again." She raised her hand to silence him when he tried to interrupt her once again.

"No, Albus, now you listen to me. I know you have been meddling with their lives for a very long time, but you had no right, no right at all to do something like this to them. I also know the Weasley kid is not the brightest one when it comes to life-changing decisions, but at least from Miss Granger I would have expected something better. They are his best friends, for Merlin's sake, they should have refused you and warned him…."

Harry had heard enough. He ignored the cold hand that seemed to grip his heart, ignored the warning kick he received from his daughter because she felt uncomfortable when he was upset. Turning around silently and hurrying away in the direction of his quarters, he did his best to also try to ignore the feeling of betrayal that burned like fire in his chest. Albus, Ron, Hermione – people he had trusted, people he had considered his closest friends had turned on him, had manipulated him, had deliberately ignored his feelings and wishes.

Half way to his quarters, another feeling began to creep up his chest. DOUBT. Doubt about Severus' honesty, doubt about his role in this farce, doubt if he had really _not_ known about the Headmasters plan. Had he not agreed to this bonding too readily? He had not even tried to argue or find another solution… and he was a master in acting, had done it practically most of his life…

Feeling slightly dizzy, Harry realized he had no one left to turn to. No one he could trust any more, no one he could talk to, no one to sooth his fears. He was all alone, bound to a husband who did not love him and had most probably betrayed him. His friends, the persons he had considered his surrogate family, had hurt him beyond repair. Nothing left to live for, nothing left to go on for, nothing at all…

At this very moment his daughter kicked him hard and Harry felt ashamed of his thoughts. He was living for _her_ and her alone. She would be his life and his hope; his everything. He did not need his friends nor his husband, as long as she was safe and protected by this farce of a marriage he and Severus were committed to. He would go through everything for her. She was worth it, all of it. In time, Harry knew, the pain in his chest would change to a numb feeling, eventually fading to emptiness – a feeling he was already familiar with. He would live through it, he would survive – he always did.

Muttering the password to his quarters, Harry silently sneaked into the room. He was surprised when he saw Severus sitting in front of the fireplace, reading a book. His husband looked up, when he entered the door and Harry let the cloak slip from his form and reveal him to his mates eyes.

Putting the book away with careful, controlled movements, Severus looked at Harry. His love looked even more miserable than he had expected. The look in Harry's eyes confirmed Severus' suspicions that his husband was trying unsuccessfully to ease his unhappiness and it also confirmed, that it would be the best for him to end the contract.

Watching Severus silently, Harry finally managed to bring his emotions under control and put a blank expression on his face. He did not want for Severus to see how badly he had been hurt once again. What was he doing up at this time anyways? Why was he sitting here in the living room, waiting for him? What was this all about?

"I see you have been out for a walk," Severus stated in a low voice that gave nothing away about his feelings. "Please, Harry, have a seat, we need to talk about some things."

A cold feeling settled into Harry's stomach. If something was so important that Severus wanted to talk it through in the middle of the night, then it had to be something unpleasant. Closing his eyes in defeat, Harry sat down beside his husband. He felt empty, and lonely and cold, so cold. Had he not been hurt enough for one day – or well, hour? What had he done to deserve so much pain?

Then Severus began to speak and his worst fears came true.

"Harry, I needed to talk to you, because I think things can't go on like this. It is quite obvious that you are not happy in this marriage, and as much as I had hoped this would work out, I think we both know it does not. You have been feeling worse each day since the night we bonded and I am concerned about your health. Don't even try to deny it, I can see it as well as everyone else. So, to come to the point, I want to end the contract and this sad excuse of a marriage. Believe me, it is for your own good."

Harry felt like his world was falling apart around him. Severus wanted to end the bonding. He wanted to rob him of the only possible way he had to protect his child.

"… _for their own good …" _Dumbledore had said _…_ _for your own good…"_ Severus had just stated. _So he knew all the time_. Harry thought. The realization burned like fire in his chest. The same words, the same pain. Once again someone else had taken the control over his life, had made decisions for him, had betrayed him. Once again, he had been nothing more than a pawn in a game others played. It would never end, _never_.

Something in Harry snapped. The last bit of control he had held over his feelings came crashing down. He looked at Severus with unseeing eyes, unable to get a grip on the overwhelming pain that had taken over his body and his mind.

Severus watched as Harry's control slipped, he could see it when it began. What he had not expected was the total devastation the young wizards face held. He rose in the intention to touch him, hold him tight, tell him it would be alright, kiss him and make it better. He gasped when Harry backed away from him.

"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me again! None of you! You manipulating, betraying bastards. I should have known you belonged to them! I should have known I could not trust you … I should have known, _I should have known_…" the young wizard was almost sobbing now, his voice breaking with the effort not to cry.

"Oh, but here I am, hoping against hope you were not one of them, not one of those people who called themselves my _friends_ only to stab me in the back at the first occasion. Did you all have a good laugh at my expense, Severus? Had you planned it out - you and that old goat that calls himself Headmaster? Oh, and not to forget my know-it-all mudblood '_friend'_ and her Weasley idiot… did they help you to figure out how to best manipulate me – not that that meddling old fool ever needed help before…"

A sinking feeling settled into Severus' stomach. This sounded bad, _really_ bad. If Harry's suspicions were true and the Headmaster and his own _friend_s were responsible for the Daily Prophet article, then Harry had every right to be hurt and angry. Though it pained Severus as well that Harry did not trust him and would believe he would help those idiots manipulating him. Trying to calm down the sobbing wizard, Severus made another move in Harry's direction. Harry would have none of it.

"Stay away from me!" he yelled and flicked his wrist. In an amazing display of wandless magic and unexpected power, Harry sent Severus flying into the nearest chair. He had reacted without thinking and looked as surprised as Severus about what he had done. His shock didn't last long though. Turning around, he fled the room, blinded by tears, sobbing out a last "I am out of here!"

In a swirl of robes, Harry ran through the corridors of the silent castle. He needed to get out, he needed space, he needed air. He could not breath through the pain that was burning in his chest and in his soul. Stumbling a few times and still blinded by tears, he just ran. He didn't even slow down his pace as he reached the moving stairs.

The castle tried to cooperate with Harry tried to ease the way for him, tried to keep him safe – to no avail. When he reached the third set of stairs he stumbled, twisted his ankle by stepping on his robes and fell – eight months pregnant – off the moving stairs.

A/N: I know, I know; a cliffie... Tell me what you think anyways? Please?


	16. In labor

**Chapter 16: In labor**

Severus got up from where he had fallen, ignoring the stinging pain in his back. He needed to find Harry, and quick. His young husband was in no condition to run around in the middle of the night, emotionally troubled and eight months pregnant.

Reaching the door to his chambers, Severus realized he had no idea in which direction Harry had disappeared. He turned to the left, in order to see if he was hiding out in one of the empty classrooms on this floor, but found his way blocked by a massive stone wall. Surprised, Severus stumbled back. What was this all about? Was Hogwarts trying to help him, or was it trying to block him from Harry?

His thoughts were answered when all the lights went out and only one corridor was still lit by torches. Obviously the castle was trying to lead his way. A cold feeling seemed to grip Severus' heart – something was wrong when Hogwarts was cooperating with him in order to find Harry faster. Something was terribly wrong, he knew it. Moving even faster through the cool corridors, Severus tried to imagine what could have happened. Had Harry decided to face the Headmaster? Had he tried to leave the castle in the middle of the night? Or was he maybe injured? This last thought made Severus shiver.

Severus followed the lit torches down the moving stairs which were, surprisingly enough, not moving at all. When he reached the fourth set of stairs he froze. The sight of the still figure of Harry on the stone floor turned his blood to ice. He looked like he was dead. Severus' heart missed a beat. He did not know how far Harry had fallen down, but even if he had fallen only one floor it could have done severe damage.

Feeling tears sting his eyes and his throat tighten, Severus called, "Harry!" He practically flew down the remaining stairs to crouch beside Harry. The young man was lying face down on the cold stone floor, the part of his face Severus could see was swollen and already beginning to bruise. The way Harry was lying, Severus could not see if his nose was broken, but his lower lip was split and the blood and the bruises were the only colors in the otherwise deadly pale face. Trying to bring his panic under control, Severus took a deep breath and touched Harry's shoulder. At first he considered turning the young wizard around, but then decided against it – he didn't know what kind of injures Harry had and moving him could make things worse.

Angry, Severus realized that his hands were shaking. Damn, where was his self control when he needed it most? He had kept his cool while dealing with Voldemort, but seeing his husband injured turned him into someone as useless as a First-year Longbottom.

Suppressing the urge to just gather the still figure in his arms, Severus took out his wand and cast a simple diagnostic spell on Harry. Thank Merlin, he was alive! He had several broken bones and most likely a concussion, but his spine was unharmed and Ebony's life signs were strong and healthy. It should be safe to move him and the sooner he got to the infirmary, the better. Making a quick decision, Severus gathered Harry in his arms and made his way to the infirmary.

When he was half way to there, the Bloody Baron crossed his way. "Go and wake Pomfrey, tell her I will be arriving with a patient. Harry is injured. Now, go!" he ordered and the surprised Slytherin houseghost obeyed instantly.

ooOoo

Five minutes later a very angry Poppy Pomfrey had a still unconscious Harry Potter in one of her infirmary beds and was casting diagnostic spells on him, when the Headmaster arrived at the infirmary door.

"Severus, Poppy, what happened? How seriously is he injured? Is he…" Albus began, but was interrupted by a furious Potions Master. Severus blocked Albus' way to Harry's bed and stated in a cold voice, "Headmaster, I believe we have something to discuss and I suggest we do it outside of here. I would not want to upset Harry further, should he wake."

That said, he practically shoved the Headmaster back out of the huge infirmary doors.

Minerva was waiting in the corridor in front of the infirmary and looked up startled when the Headmaster returned so soon - an obviously livid Severus on his heels. She did not get the chance to ask questions, though, because Severus instantly began yelling at Albus.

"Is it true? Is it true what Harry just told me?" Severus' eyes were glowing with a dangerous fire and Minerva thought that she had never seen him so out of control, his magical power radiating off his body in almost palpable waves. His voice was acidic as he went on, "Are you and his two so called _friends_ responsible for the Daily Prophet article? Did you go so far as to violate his privacy and betray his trust just to manipulate him into doing what you thought best?"

The look of utter surprise and guilt on both of their faces answered Severus' question for him. Albus made an attempt to speak, but he was once again stopped by the Potions Master. His patience with the Headmaster was running thin and he had to control himself so as to not touch the man he had considered a friend and mentor.

"You! You are responsible for the condition he is in, you alone are responsible." Severus spat. "He came back to our chambers from a walk around the castle… " at his words Albus cringed visibly and Minerva covered her mouth in a gesture of pure horror. "…he seemed to be upset about something, but I found out too late what had him so troubled. Harry is broken, Albus, _you_ have broken him; you and those idiotic children that call themselves his friends. I have never seen him this _shattered_ before, not even after he had defeated Voldemort."

Severus took a deep breath and turned his back on the Headmaster and Minerva for a moment. He could not stand the sight of them any longer. Albus used this little break to speak. "Severus would you please calm down. I know you are worried about your husband, but your tone is very uncalled for. I am as concerned about Harry's health as you are," the Headmaster had the nerve to sound hurt.

At his words Severus almost lost control. He spun around to face the older wizard again "You were never really concerned about his well being before. You have manipulated our lives long enough. I will not give you another opportunity to hurt him. Your silly little games end here and now!" he yelled angrily. "Harry has made it perfectly clear that he does not wish to see your or any of his so called 'friends' again. He would have left the castle in the middle of the night if he had not fallen off those damn stairs. I will see to it that he gets what he wishes. If I can convince him that I had no knowledge of your lunatic plans, and he accepts my apology for not telling him about my suspicions I will do whatever Harry asks of me. I will leave with him tonight and never come back if that is his wish. I want you to know that Harry is the most important person in my life and I will do what I have to do not to lose him and Ebony. You'd better pray that Poppy can fix him, because if I should lose him or Ebony because of this, you will wish the Dark Lord had killed me!"

ooOoo

Poppy had been on her way out of the infirmary to tell Severus to keep his voice down, but she froze right in front of the huge doors she was about to open. A shiver ran down her spine when she heard the Potion Master's words. Severus was a very dangerous wizard when he wanted to be and he should not be underestimated - especially not when he was in a rage.

The pain and protectiveness she heard in his voice amazed her though - it was so opposite to the controlled demeanor Severus usually sported. Even the 'loving husband act', as Poppy silently called Severus' public behavior, could not hide the fact that his words of love barely ever held any real emotion. Right now though, the feelings she could hear in his voice were unguarded and true.

Ever since Harry and Severus' first fight about the pregnancy and being bonded, Poppy had been suspicious. She had not heard much that day, but what she had heard must have hurt the Potions Master deeply. Though it had seemed that no solution could be found at that time, as soon as the _Daily Prophet_ article had been released the two of them had suddenly behaved like a happy couple that could not wait to be bonded – a sudden change Poppy had found very suspicious.

Of course she had tried to talk to the two of them and even to their friends and the Headmaster about her suspicions that something was not quite right, but everyone had told her not worry, everything was perfectly fine.

It had turned out that it was not. The last piece fell into place on Christmas eve, after Harry woke in the infirmary. She did not know _what_ exactly Harry and Severus were feeling for each other, but if their behavior was anything to go by, those two wizards' lives were practically hell. The façade of a happy marriage was cracking. She had done everything she could think of to help those two stubborn wizards through an obviously difficult time, but to no avail.

This was the first time in many months, Poppy felt that maybe those two really had a chance. Maybe, just maybe, this unfortunate accident had opened their eyes and they would be able to sort things out, now that their true emotions were showing through.

Poppy turned and silently walked away from the door. She would leave Severus be. From what she had heard, the Potions Master was completely right and Albus deserved every single word for meddling in their lives. When she returned to the bed Harry was lying in, she realized, he was waking. "I see you have decided to come back." The medi-witch commented and did another check on him.

"Why am I here? What happened?" Harry asked in a weak voice. His body once again hurt like hell and his head was throbbing so bad, he could hardly think.

"You, Mr. Potter, somehow managed to fall off the moving stairs. Don't even think about trying to move before I am done with you! You have a concussion, a broken leg and two broken ribs that still need to be healed. Severus brought you here. He said you were very distressed and ran out into the castle in the middle of the night."

She cast a spell on him and to Harry's great relief the worst pain subsided. Slowly the memories returned to him. The conversation he had overheard, the discussion with Severus, his flight. Harry closed his eyes and turned away from the medi-witch. "I don't want to see them – any of them" he whispered.

Poppy looked down at her young patient and sighed. "I don't know what exactly happened to you tonight, Harry, but from what I over-heard I understand that you have every right to be upset. Though I don't think you should push Severus away as well, Harry. He is protecting you. He kept the Headmaster away from you and is right now telling Albus some very unpleasant things. He has also made it very clear that you are all that is important to him. Please, Harry, he is so worried about you. Let me go get him so he can see that you and Ebony are alright, okay?"

Harry looked at her, confused. Severus was defending him; protecting him? Why would he do that if he had known about the Headmaster's plans all along? Maybe his husband felt guilty about the fact that he, Harry, had fallen off the moving stairs after their fight? Maybe he really had not known about Dumbledore's plans. Harry decided it was useless to guess what he could not possibly know and he needed to ask Severus about his strange behavior, instead. After that he could still decide what to do next.

His thoughts were interrupted when a strange wave of pain rushed through his lower body and tore across his back. Not that he wasn't in pain already, but this felt more like someone or something was gripping him, trying to rip him apart. He could not suppress a small painful cry.

Poppy watched him suspiciously. "What is the matter, Harry? I already took care of your broken bones, they are healing nicely and your concussion should be gone by noon. You should not be in too much pain."

She took out her wand and was about to cast another diagnostic spell on him, when Harry felt a tingling between his legs, followed by a burning sensation. To make things worse, the burning turned into a sharp stab of pain - it felt like someone was cutting him. "Ouch," he protested, and was about to move when another strange sensation hit him. It was like something inside him 'burst', not really painful, but very unsettling. A moment later, there was wetness between his legs. Harry looked up at Poppy helplessly.

Poppy, who had already realized what was happening said soothingly, "Don't worry, Harry, your water just broke. What you feel is your body getting ready to give birth. Looks like your little Ebony will be with us sometime soon." She waved her wand and the wetness of the sheets was gone.

"But it's too early!" Harry protested. "I am only eight months along, she's not ready to be born yet!" he looked like he was going to burst in tears at any second.

"Don't worry, Harry. All the tests show that her weight and length are satisfying and she is strong and healthy. She is ready to be born and will have a good start into her life. You concentrate on delivering her and leave the rest to me, alright?"

"Okay!" Harry agreed, then another wave of pain hit him. Was this supposed to go so fast?

Poppy patted his hand again and stated., "I think I will have a look if Severus is done with the Headmaster yet." Her eyes twinkled suspiciously as if she liked the thought of Severus dealing with the Headmaster in a more direct way than usual. "I will go get him so he can be here when Ebony is born." She turned and headed for the door.

Harry snuggled deeper into the sheets, trying to find a comfortable position, but without much luck. He was scared. Scared about giving birth, scared that something would go wrong, scared that he would not be able to handle the pain in his already injured state.

Another wave of pain gripped him and Harry suppressed a groan. The area between his legs felt strange and Harry tried to reach down to touch himself, but to no avail. Then realization hit him. He almost passed out when he remembered that the feelings he had experienced earlier had turned his genitals into a vagina, giving him the opportunity to give birth. Harry had, of course, _known_ what would happen, Poppy had told him about it a long time ago. She had said that he would have to give birth 'the natural way', but there was a huge difference between _knowing_ something and _experiencing_ it. Suddenly he didn't feel prepared at all. Merlin, what if something went wrong and he didn't get his penis back after giving birth? Would everything ever even look the same again?

Before he could come up with any more horrific scenarios, Poppy came back; a very worried looking Severus in tow. As soon as he saw Harry lying in the hospital bed, pale and in pain, Severus rushed to his side and took the young wizard's hand in his own. "Harry, how do you feel? Poppy said you have gone into labor. Don't worry, you will see, everything will be alright. Do you need anything?"

Feeling lightheaded by the fact that Severus was showing some real concern for him, Harry smiled at him fondly. It felt good to have him by his side in this scary situation. While he had expected Severus to be mad at him after what he had done and how impulsive he had acted last night – endangering his own life and Ebony's as well – Harry was relieved. Severus seemed to be more angry with the Headmaster than with him. Harry realised that meant the chances were good Severus really had not known, and had never intended to deceive him in any way. It was almost like in the past, when Severus had protected him and saved his life over and over again.

As if he had read his mind, Severus spoke, "Please, Harry, believe me, I had no idea it was Dumbledore and your 'friends' who were responsible for the Daily Prophet article. I would never betray you in such a way. You mean too much to me to ever willingly hurt you. Please tell me you don't really believe I could have betrayed your trust. We can leave the wizarding world if you want to. You and Ebony are my family and I want you to be happy. I am so grateful I haven't lost you."

Severus' eyes glittered with unshed tears as he leaned down to place a kiss on the top of Harry's head.

At this moment, another wave of pain hit Harry and he grabbed Severus' hand. He tried to breath through the contraction like Poppy had taught him and after the pain subsided, he said, "I believe you, Severus. I do know you would never willingly hurt me, but can we please talk

about this later? I think I need to concentrate on delivering our daughter."

Severus smiled and gripped Harry's hand tightly. "Of course," he smiled. "I don't plan on going anywhere."

A/N: A big THANK YOU to all who reviewed. It is very much appreciated. I promise, next time I will thank you individually again. hugs you all

Another THANK YOU to my betas, allzugern and capierson. You are great!


	17. Welcome Ebony!

**Chapter 17: Welcome Ebony!**

It hurt. It really hurt bad. It felt like someone was gripping his insides and was trying to tear him apart. It did not stop, it did not get better, in fact, it even got worse. Harry didn't know how long he was in pain now, but it seemed like eternity.

"I am going to have a look at you again my dear," Poppy announced and Harry suppressed a groan. He did not like Poppy touching him _there_ poking around in his too female body, making him ache even more.

Though, when she finally took away her fingers this time, she smiled at him brightly. "Very good, Harry. You are completely dilated now and you can begin to push with the next contraction. It shouldn't take too long now until your little girl is born," she announced.

"Did you hear that, Harry? It's almost over now," Severus soothed, brushing some sweaty strands of hair from Harry's forehead before placing a cool cloth to his heated skin. Severus had been with him for the entire labor time, holding his hand, rubbing his aching back and trying everything to lessen the pain.

"Yes, I heard her, Severus and I also heard that she said I had to push," his voice grew louder as the pain increased, "Damn, how am I supposed to push when I hardly can stand the pain as it is?" he cursed. Harry wished it would just be over. He wanted to be done with it, he had had enough pain for today.

Then, the next contraction hit him and Poppy advised him, "Harry, put your chin on your chest and push downward." She turned to look at Severus and placing the Potion Masters 's hand just above Harry's neck said "Severus, you can support his head."

Taking a deep breath, Harry did as he had been told. He cried out when the pain increased tenfold, ripping a burning trail through his abdomen. "I can't!" he sobbed, tears running down his cheeks. "It hurts too much. I just can't! Please don't make me. Her head will never fit through my pelvis, I am just not made for this!"

"I know it hurts, Harry and I am sorry, but the spell I used on you to heal your injuries this morning has not completely worn off yet. I can't use a pain-reducing spell on you right now," Poppy apologized, patting his hand slightly in an attempt to comfort him. "I promise, as soon as the other spell wears off, I will take away most of the pain. You have done so well during the last eight hours and you are progressing quickly. Just a little bit longer, dear," she tried to encourage him.

Harry froze. Had she just said _eight_ hours? He looked at Severus who did not seem to be even the slightest bit surprised. "Eight hours?" Harry finally asked, throwing both of them terrified glances. "You mean this usually takes even _longer_ than the eight fucking hours I am suffering already?" he yelled.

Poppy only smiled at him patiently, replying, "Yes, Harry, up to ten hours is perfectly within the time-frame for someone giving birth for the first time – I believe for muggles it even takes longer to give birth."

"That's not helping, you know?" Harry hissed. "Because I am pretty sure most of the witches and wizards who are in labor for ten hours _do_ get pain-medication of sorts. I sure as hell know muggles do."

Sighing slightly, Poppy said, "I know that, Harry and I would do something against the pain, but as I told you before it will have to wait until the spell I used this morning wears off and you concussion is gone completely. I am sorry, Harry, but there is nothing I can do now. I had no way of knowing you would go into labor or else I would have used a less complicated spell, one that might be compatible with the spell used for numbing your spinal nerves."

Turning away from her, Harry begged, "Severus, say something, do something, please!" Severus really had been awfully silent for the last few minutes. "Don't you have a potion I could take? Really, I can't do this. I… I've changed my mind…" he stuttered. "I don't want to be pregnant any more, I want it to stop hurting. Please!"

Severus sighed. He hated to see Harry in pain, but he knew the risks of mixing up spells that could react badly together. There was nothing he could do for Harry, because every potion he could give Harry would risk Ebony's health. So, gripping Harry's hand tightly and leaning over to kiss the crown of his head, Severus softly said, "Harry, I know you are hurting and I know you want it to stop, but I have to agree with Poppy. It's too dangerous to treat you before the other spell is completely gone, and all of the pain potions I have will endanger Ebony."

He winced inwardly when he saw the look of betrayal that entered Harry's eyes, but then vanished again as quickly as it had appeared. It looked like the boy did not believe him. "If you say, so Severus." Harry finally murmured, then gasping in pain when the next contraction gripped him.

"Take a deep breath, Harry, put your chin to your chest and push." Poppy instructed once again and Harry could have strangled her. _It's easy to give orders when you are not the one in pain_ he thought angrily.

When the pain subsided, Severus once again wiped Harry's forehead with a soft cool cloth before kissing the hand he was holding in his own. "I am so proud of you, Harry," Severus whispered. "You are doing such a good job delivering our daughter. I am sure it won't be too long now until Poppy can do something about the pain." He said, looking at his watch.

"I do hope you are right." Harry said, sinking back into the pillows and taking a deep breath to steel himself for yet another wave of pain.

ooOoo

"Do come in!" Albus Dumbledore called out tiredly. This day was getting worse and worse. First his discussion with Severus, then an equally bad one with Minerva, who was just short of hexing him for his stupidity, and now he would have to tell Ron and Hermione what had happened. He didn't look forward to this talk, either.

The young couple had taken a seat in front of his desk, and were looking at him expectantly. For once, he didn't offer tea or lemon drops to them, he just sat there, gathering his thoughts. He really had messed it up this time.

Finally, when the silence became uncomfortable, Albus spoke. "I know you are curious as to why I have asked you to come," he began.

The two of them nodded.

Rubbing his temple, Albus took a deep breath and said without further ado, "Harry and Severus found out about our role in the Daily Prophet incident."

Ron didn't look too worried, but Hermione gasped and paled noticeably.

"Further, I have to tell you, that Harry was very upset and tried to leave the castle in the middle of the night, which lead to an unfortunate accident. To be specific – he fell off the moving stairs," Albus stated, twinkle absent from his eyes and his voice grave.

This time, Ron paled too. Both of them were up out of their seats in an instant, simultaneously trying to talk to Albus, asking him if Harry was ok.

Gesturing for them to sit down again, the Headmaster once again spoke. "Severus found Harry and brought him to Madame Pomfrey in time. No permanent damage was done, but I believe the trauma sent him into labor. He is about to give birth, I believe. Wait…" he stopped Ron and Hermione who had risen from their seats once again, ready to turn around and head to the infirmary.

"I am afraid you can't go to him now. None of us can, in fact, Harry does not wish to see any of us and it seems like Poppy and Severus are determined to make sure Harry gets what he wants," Albus explained, watching the reaction of the two wizards in front of him.

Ron looked dumbfounded while Hermione's eyes filled with tears. "I don't understand…" Ron stammered. "I thought he wanted to be with Professor Snape, he said so himself. Now he has him, is even married to him, but instead of being grateful he hates us for it? I don't get it … I just don't get it. I thought he was happy being married…"

Wiping her eyes, Hermione looked at her boyfriend like he had lost his mind. "Ron, don't you get it? Harry is far from being happy in this marriage. Both of them are, in fact, unhappy. You know he has been depressed and it was getting worse day by day!" she snapped, torn between anger and shame for what they had done to their best friend.

Looking confused and a bit angry as well, Ron replied, "But Poppy told us it was a pregnancy thing. Mood swings happen all the time with pregnant people."

"Seriously, Ron…" Hermione was about to tell him that this was not some simple pregnancy induced mood swing, but Albus cut her off by stepping between the two of them.

"Ron, Hermione, please!" he said in a defeated voice, holding up his hands. He sounded tired and old. "I think we all know very well, that the marriage between those two did not turn out like we hoped it would. What we need to do now is think of something to set things straight again."

Still confused as well as angry about the fact that the other seemed to have known something he obviously had missed, Ron snapped, "You are the Headmaster of this school, I am sure you can go to the infirmary if you want to. I don't think there are wards that could keep you out, are there?"

Sighing inwardly about that statement, Albus turned to face Ron and answered calmly, "No, Ron, indeed, there are no _wards _that could keep me out. My common sense, however, does. One would think it would not be wise to storm in there, disrespect Harry's wishes again, anger his already furious husband even more and just demand he lets us stay. That would be a bit rash, don't you agree? No, we will have to let things cool down a bit. For one, I don't want an angry Potions Master, a livid medi-witch, and certainly no powerful savior of the wizarding world after me, Headmaster or not. Secondly, as bad as it sounds, we must come to terms with the fact that we might lose him as it is. Harry does not take betrayal lightly, as you know," he sighed, looking at Ron and Hermione expectantly.

There was silence for a while, before Hermione asked, "So what do you suggest?"

ooOoo

Fortunately for Harry, Severus had been right – it _had_ not taken much longer until Poppy was able to cast that pain reducing spell. Now, about an hour and a half later, Harry finally felt his daughter slip free from his body. He sobbed, overwhelmed by the feeling of pure joy rushing through him.

"She is perfect!" Severus whispered a moment later, taking the angrily crying child from the medi-witch's arms. He held his daughter down for Harry to see, opening the pink blanket she was wrapped in a bit to show Harry her little feet and hands.

Harry reached out for Ebony and cradled her to his chest, trying to calm her down. "Shush, don't cry love. Daddy's got you." he whispered to her and it seemed to work. Ebony stopped her crying and looked up to her two fathers, frowning a bit when Harry shifted her.

"You were right, you know," Harry said, looking up at Severus. "About her appearance, at least," Harry elaborated, but Severus didn't seem to know what he was talking about. He looked at Harry questioningly.

"Don't you remember what you said about a daughter of mine? After training when we were talking about family. I told you I'd liked to have a daughter first if I could choose. And you said, I quote, _A daughter? You? And I would have to teach her sooner or later. Merlin, I can imagine her. Ebony hair, emerald eyes, skin like expensive china and your talent for getting in trouble. What are you going to call her? Snow-white?_

I didn't call her snow-white and I don't know about her talent for getting in trouble yet, but look at her, Severus. She is just like you described her."

Surprised Severus did just that - _look_. Harry was right, she was all that. Her eyes were as startling green as her fathers, her skin, though still a bit too pink form birth, would be a creamy white color and the patch of silky hair was as black as night. It was even darker than Harry's unruly locks.

As he watched, Ebony's eyelids began to flutter shut, her tiny pink mouth opening in a huge yawn. She looked quite adorable. Severus felt overwhelmed by love for her, his eyes filling with tears. "She is so beautiful, Harry!" he whispered, his throat tight with emotion.

"Yes, she is." Harry agreed. "And she is ours – yours and mine. Our perfect daughter." At this moment Harry was at peace – if only for a little while.

ooOoo

It was quite some time later, Ebony and Harry were having a nap after this eventful day, when Poppy came over to Severus. He was sitting in a chair by Harry's bed, watching them sleep, when the medi-witch touched his shoulder and gestured for him to follow her.

When they were in her office, she turned to look at Severus. "You should tell him!" was all she said and Severus looked at her surprised.

"Tell him what, Poppy?" the Potions Master asked, though he knew perfectly well what she was talking about.

Sighing, she elaborated. "You should tell him that you love him. He needs to hear it, you know?"

"Did he say that?" Severus asked, suddenly feeling cold. Had Harry talked to her about this topic? Had he told her what he was not able to tell him, Severus?"

"He didn't need to, it is quite obvious." Poppy replied, rolling her eyes and leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Severus stood there, in the middle of Poppy's office, dumbfounded. He wondered if she might be right. Why not try it? What did he have to lose now, anyway? It couldn't get any worse, could it?

TBC

A/N: Thank you for all the great reviews. I appreciate it. No, this is obviously not the end...LOL. I am still working on this fic, but RL is being a bitch and I am pretty busy right now. BUT I have good news: Chap 18 is already half way done, so chances are good you won't have to wait for it two months once again grin Please let me know what you think of the chap? Liked it? Hated it? Suggestions? Thanks!


	18. If only I'd known

**Chapter 18: "If only I'd known..." **

Harry Potter had made his decision. If getting back the man he used to know, the man he had fallen in love with, came with a price, then he would pay that price. Maybe it was a good idea after all to end that damn contract. It had brought both of them only hurt and tears, because it had not been of their own volition, and because it was just not what they really, truly wanted to do. It was done out of false motives.

So, if ending the contract meant losing his husband but getting his friend back, then this was worth it. They didn't know each other any more as it was, anyway. He had not felt this distant from Severus since before the birth of their daughter. Yes, since the accident Severus was gentle and kind, loving and caring, but Harry was not exactly sure how much of his behavior was the result of guilt. Guilt and pity, the two things Harry never wanted from anyone, ever.

Funny enough, at times, Severus actually seemed to believe that there could be a future for their family. That things could be worked out, even though they had almost become strangers over the course of the last few months. Harry didn't know what it was Severus had been clinging to, but obviously he now had decided that ending the contract would be a good idea. Maybe it really was. Maybe, this was, in the end, their chance to start anew – as friends and then they could move forward.

ooOoo

It had been three days since Poppy had given him a piece of good _advice_ and Severus had finally found the courage to try and talk to Harry. Severus found him as he was just about to leave the infirmary. He didn't have Ebony with him.

"Harry, I need to talk to you," Severus began, expecting to be ignored or downright rejected – Harry had been unnaturally silent over the last three days. To Severus' great surprise though, Harry just nodded his head in agreement, saying, "I was searching for you anyway, because I wanted to talk to you as well. How about we go somewhere more private? Poppy agreed to watch Ebony for us."

Silently they made their way to their quarters, both lost in their thoughts of what the other might want to talk about.

As soon as the two of them had reached the living room, Harry flicked his wrist, whispering a few words under his breath. Severus stared at him in disbelief. He could feel the magic of exceptionally strong wards surround them; wards that required a great deal of concentration, magical power and a very clear incantation. Severus was astounded by how easily Harry put up such a complicated ward. He should not have been able to do it the way he had. Or more precisely, he should not have been able to do it at all – not without his wand. "What have you just done, Harry?" he asked curiously.

"I have put up some silencing and anti-spying wards," Harry replied. "The walls have ears and eyes you know? I am sure you don't want Albus to hear this, do you?"

Severus shook his head no and elaborated, "I know you put up wards, Harry, I can feel them. What I meant was _how_ you did it."

"What do you mean 'how' I did it? Just like how you do it too, I suppose," Harry answered, impatience entering his tone. "I said the words and…" he broke off, thinking about it for a moment.

"Where is your wand, Harry?" Severus asked softly.

Harry took it out of his robes and stared at it. "I didn't use my wand," he whispered, sounding surprised.

"No, you didn't," Severus agreed. "This is not the first time you didn't use your wand, Harry," Severus reminded him.

"But… but…,"Harry stammered. He was confused beyond words. How was this possible? "I thought it had been because I was angry, last time. Though, when I think about it now…I might have done something like this before without realizing it. It…it just felt natural. I've had a lot of magical energy lately, but I thought it was Ebony supporting me. Seems I was wrong." He kept staring at the wand in his hands.

"We should this have examined," Severus exclaimed, but Harry interrupted him.

"No, Severus, no. We are doing no such thing. I will not play the lab rat for anyone, not now and not in the future. Now, I believe we came here for a reason – I thought we needed to talk. So, since you were the one to ask first, you may as well begin," Harry said. He seemed to be quite tense.

Not that Severus was not as nervous as Harry seemed to be - he was after all about to say something, he had never ever said before – to anyone. He was taking a great risk in telling Harry his feelings, but after thinking it through thoroughly Severus had come to the decision, that Poppy was right; Harry had a right to hear it.

Gathering all his courage, Severus stood in front of his young husband. He took a deep breath and decided to just get it over with. "I love you, Harry!" Severus confessed and looked Harry in the eyes. There, he had said it aloud. The reaction, though, was nothing like he had imagined it. Clearly surprised, Harry looked at him for a moment and said, "I am sorry, Severus, but I have a hard time believing that."

When he saw the anger and hurt on his husband's face, he added, "Don't get me wrong, Severus, I am not saying that you are lying, I just say that after all the things that happened between us, this is quite hard to believe, don't you agree?" His voice was calm and he sounded perfectly reasonable.

"Would you please elaborate on your answer?" Severus asked icily, instead of commenting on Harry's question.

Sighing almost inaudibly, Harry explained, "You know Severus, a few months ago I would have given almost everything to hear you say those words, but that was before I got pregnant by you without realizing it, before we had this nasty fight in the infirmary and before someone tricked us into a bonding we both didn't want. A lot has happened since then and we are no longer the people we were back then - not anymore. Things have changed, Severus. That doesn't mean that I don't need your love anymore or that I don't love you back, but things are complicated now. You know as well as I do that we have become almost strangers over the course of the last few months." He held up his hand to stop Severus from protesting.

"What I want to say, Severus, is that I think we both need time. Time to get to know each other again. Time to get used to the new situation, to having a child, to fully realize what has changed over the last few days and weeks. I know you don't understand why I have problems believing what you just told me, so let me explain, please?"

Severus nodded in agreement, muttering "Please do so." His face was an unreadable mask.

"When I found out that you were the one who impregnated me, I was confused. I felt threatened by your request to bond with me and I panicked. I had just recently admitted to myself that I loved you and I hoped we could maybe have a chance together. Then you told me you were the one to sleep with me and what could have been a great chance for both of us turned into a nightmare. I don't regret having Ebony, not one second, but it certainly complicated things." Harry didn't look at Severus when he made his confession. "Then that damn article showed up and things even got worse. I loved you, but I was so sure you would not love me in return, though I was willing to bond with you for the sake of your daughter. It pained me to think about the fact that you only had married me because of that article and because it was the right thing to do. My _friends_ had talked me into this as much as Dumbledore had talked you into this bonding as well."

He turned to look at his husband this time, but Severus' face was still as unreadable as it had been before.

"I am not saying that I don't believe you that you love me, Severus and I am sure _you_ really do believe that you are in love with me. Problem is, so many things happened between us that make it hard for me to believe that you loved me the whole the time and just chose to not tell me." Harry sighed. "What happened, Severus? What happened to us? When did we become such strangers? I will tell you what happened; we lost each other. We lost the intimacy, the friendship we once shared and that hurts more than anything else."

He turned around, away from Severus, to not let his husband see the pain in his eyes.

"Let's face the facts, Severus, you married me out of responsibility and maybe to bow to Dumbledore's wishes, but we both know this has never been a marriage of love. You say you love me, but you never really showed it. You accepted separate bedrooms without discussion, you only were concerned about me when it came to Ebony's health and you never ever said a single word about love. Yes, I admit, I hurt you and I never talked about love either, but that is not important any more."

Severus turned around to face Harry, ready to interrupt him, but Harry once again silenced him with a gesture.

"I want my friend back, Severus." Harry whispered. "I want back the man I came to love, the man who laughed with me, the man I could share my hopes, thoughts, fears and dreams with. I have lost him along the way, Severus, and I want him back. I want him back even if this means giving up my husband. We are not ready yet, to have a relationship, Severus; we are barely more than strangers right now. I agree with you that we should end this contract – we should end it in favor of a friendship. I will leave Hogwarts and live in the Muggle world for a while, Severus, but I want you to visit me and Ebony so we can get to know each other again. I love you and you say you love me, so this might eventually lead us somewhere, but right now I need to come to terms with a few things and I need to think about what is best for Ebony as well. I am a father now. It is about time I grew up."

"I disagree, Harry." Severus said silently. "I don't think that ending the contract will solve anything. I also don't think that the only way to get to know each other again is you leaving and my only visiting you and our daughter, but I will of course respect your wishes. The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy, and I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that my feelings for you are true. It's sad that you couldn't see what I was not able to say. I think you might be right – we really need to get to know each other again. All I ask of you is that you don't shut me out of our daughter's life and that you give me the chance to prove to you that I love you."

"I would never shut you out of our life, Severus; you have to believe me in this. I want us to stay in contact and to become friends again. I will trust you with this information Severus and I plan on not telling anyone where to find me besides you and Poppy. I want privacy for once in my life. Can you understand me?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Yes, I understand you. Your wish is perfectly reasonable, maybe more reasonable than anything you did over the last few months. I might not like your decision, but I will respect it nevertheless. I love you, Harry, and it is my wish to see you happy. I hope that things will work out just as you planned," Severus said in a neutral tone that revealed nothing about his feelings.

"Thanks for understanding," Harry muttered and flicked his wrist to take down the wards so Severus could leave.

It was not until much later that Harry realized Severus had never given him an explanation as to why he had not only agreed to bond so readily, but he had also not explained why he never had said a single word when Harry had suggested separate bedrooms. Well, this topic would have to wait.

ooOoo

This wasn't going to work, Albus realized. Harry had not only managed to avoid him at all costs, he also had put up strong silencing and anti-spying charms the moment he and Severus had entered their quarters.

Albus had hoped that he would gain some information as to how Harry was feeling and maybe even get a clue as to how to convince Harry to talk to either him or Hermione or Ron.

It hadn't worked.

Albus had sent Hermione and Ron away with the promise to fire-call them as soon as he had figured how to get Harry to talk to them. Surprisingly enough, Harry was on his way to the Headmasters office right now, having requested to talk to him in private.

Albus had a very bad feeling about this meeting, but he could and would not refuse Harry. This might be the only chance he got to talk to the enraged young wizard. So he waited patiently for Harry to arrive.

ooOoo

It seemed that Albus' fears were coming true.

"I am going on paternity leave and I am not coming back," Harry icily told a very tired looking Headmaster twenty minutes later.

Hogwarts no longer felt like home to Harry, now that he had found out about the betrayal of Dumbledore and his so called friends. Yes, he still loved Severus so much that it hurt, but he did not believe him when he said, he loved him. This was not love; love was something else. Something he, Harry, was obviously not made for.

Ignoring the Headmaster's pleas to at least stay at the castle and sort this out, Harry finally interrupted the older wizard by saying, "Save your breath, Headmaster! I will leave this institution and my former life behind and not look back. Ebony is all that counts now and this farce of a marriage and your betrayal will soon be merely bad memories. Have a good day, Headmaster."

With that he left the Headmaster's office and went back straight to his quarters to pack the few things he called his own in trunks and boxes. He wanted to leave this place as soon as possible.

ooOoo

"Sweet Merlin, Severus! What is the matter with you? Are you alright? What happened?" Poppy asked eyeing the man in front of her suspiciously. The Potions Master looked pale and tired, dark circles under his eyes.

"I miss him, Poppy." Severus confessed looking so unhappy and lonely it hurt Poppy to see him like this. "I visit him and Ebony every other day now, since he found an apartment in Muggle London, but it doesn't change a thing. I miss him, but he won't believe me when I tell him I love him. Yesterday he talked about ending our marriage again. I just don't know what more I could do to make him believe me."

At these words, Poppy snapped. She had enough of those two behaving like idiots. Harry was unhappy with them being apart, but insisted he needed time to sort things out. Severus was unhappy with them being apart as well, missing the two persons he loved most in this world, but insisted on respecting Harry's wishes. The result was that both were unhappy, but still thought they were doing the right thing. Men!

"This idiocy ends here and now, Severus!" she fumed. "You will come with me to Harry's place and I will set a few things straight once and for all. I am sick and tired of you two suffering for no reason at all. You are too blind to see what is right before your eyes and I will not have it any more. I didn't want to tell the two of you any of this – or at least not so soon, but I have changed my mind."

She looked determined and Severus didn't argue. With that she quickly left the infirmary to apparate to Harry's home. Sighing slightly, Severus followed her. If he didn't, she would be back to get him, anyway.

ooOoo

_Two weeks._ It had been two weeks since Harry had left Hogwarts and his old life behind, and he already regretted it. Not because of Dumbledore, his students, or the castle itself – it was Severus he missed. His Severus – his husband. The man he had shared quarters with for the past four months. Even though it had not been a peaceful companionship, it had been better than not being together at all. Now, after Severus had been so great during Ebony's birth, and had claimed to love him, Harry missed him like hell.

"I am an idiot!" He murmured, unsure as to what he should do next.

He did love Severus, that was a fact, but he was not sure Severus really did love him in return.. He had said so, yes, but was it really the truth? Or was it Severus' guilt speaking?

Before he could think about this problem any longer, a soft 'pop' alerted him to the fact that someone had just apparated in. A moment later, Poppy walked into the room. To his surprise, Harry heard a second 'pop' and since only Poppy and Severus could pass his wards, the second person arriving had to be him.

A wave of tenderness flooded through Harry at the sight of his husband. Curiosity won over and Harry looked at the medi-witch questioningly, "Poppy? I don't understand…"

Looking sternly at both of them, the elderly witch spoke. "At first I didn't want to show this to you two so soon. I thought I should give you the time to sort this mess out on your own. Now I see that might as well take forever, since you are both too stubborn and blind for your own good. So I changed my plans. Sit! Both of you!" she ordered.

Dumbfounded, Harry and Severus did just that.

"These," she waved her wand and a medical report appeared hovering in midair "are the results of the tests I did on Harry after Ebony's birth. I am sure at least _you_ Severus will recognize what they mean." She looked at the two wizards expectantly.

As she had expected, Severus gasped, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Sweet Merlin!" he cursed, a look of utter disbelief spreading over his face.

"What?" Harry asked, panicking. He could not properly decipher the report, but he had no practice in doing it either. "What is the matter with my results? Surely you would have told me if I were sick, wouldn't you?" he looked at Poppy pleadingly.

"It's not that, Harry," the medi-witch assured the young wizard. "What is so special about your report is _this_:" She pointed at the part of the description Severus was staring at.

Becoming impatient Harry glared at her. "Poppy, please! For me those results are just like Hieroglyphs. Why don't you just tell me why the hell Severus looks like he is going to faint? He is as pale as a ghost. What have I done now?" he asked angrily.

Smiling slightly Poppy said, "You have done nothing wrong, Harry. The reason why Severus is so surprised is because the results that show your magical ability are a bit … unusual."

Severus snorted. 'Unusual' didn't begin to cover it. It was so much more than that. It was his worst fear being realized. It was the end of his dream. The results stated clearly what should have been obvious all the time. Swallowing hard, he voiced his thoughts.

"More that just a bit unusual, Poppy." Severus said. "This report practically states he is the most powerful wizard currently known."

Harry gasped.

"This also means…" he broke off, swallowing hard. It hurt to say it. "This also means that I can't be Ebony's father."

ooOoo

tbc


	19. Where do we go from here?

**AN: This chapter is EDITED to fit the rules not to post NC-17 material. It is still a close call though. Those of you who would like to read the ORIGINAL version, head over to my bio and you will find more information there. Thank you!**

**Chapter 19:** **Where do we go from here**

_This also means that I can't be Ebony's father_.

Severus' words hung heavily in the air. Harry wanted to protest, wanted to tell them he had slept with no-one else before that night, wanted to deny it, but Poppy silenced him with a gesture of her hand.

"Don't be ridiculous, Severus!" She snapped. "You _are_, without a doubt, her father. Don't even think about trying to deny it."

"I am not trying to deny it, I am just being logical," Severus replied. "If he is that powerful there is no way I could have impregnated him."

"But…" Harry started, but was interrupted once again by the medi-witch.

"Severus," she said in an overly patient tone. "He _is_ that powerful, and _no-one_ should have been able to impregnate him. The only wizard who is even close to being his equal is Albus and you surely don't think _he_ had anything to do with the pregnancy. There is, however, one condition that makes it possible for you to be Ebony's father…" she trailed off for a moment , hoping Severus would catch on, but he still looked confused and miserable.

"Think, Severus. Think about the _one_ possibility that could have enabled you to impregnate Harry." She smiled cryptically.

Harry felt like someone had doused him with cold water. Suddenly, everything made perfect sense and he could have slapped himself for not seeing it before. When he first realized his magic was much stronger than it had been, he had dismissed the change, believing it had been Ebony supporting him. Then, after her birth, he had not paid too much attention to the fact that he still could feel the magic pulsing through him constantly, humming inside him - he had been too distracted. Even when he realized that he was indeed powerful enough to do wandless magic, he had not thought it through properly. He had not realized what this meant for him, or Severus. Or more precisely for Severus' ability to impregnate him.

The book he had read at the beginning of his pregnancy stated clearly that only the wizard with the stronger magical ability would be able to impregnate the other. Turned out _he_, Harry, was the magically stronger partner and had most probably been since the defeat of Voldemort. The Dark Lord's death and the termination of their bond must have released what was binding Harry's powers and had kept him from fully developing them. Either that or he, Harry, had inherited some of Voldemorts powers. Which was quite unlikely since this magic did not feel foreign at all. Though, no matter where this magic had come from, it still should have prevented Severus from impregnating him. Yet Severus _had_ been able to impregnate him.

Which was exactly the reason why poor Severus was confused right now.

Harry had to stifle a laugh when realization hit. It was ridiculously funny how blind he had been. In hindsight, Harry realized he should have known Severus loved him, before he even had told him. He should have known it the moment he realized all this magical power was his own and not Ebony supporting him. The moment, Severus had pointed out that he had used wandless magic – something only the most powerful wizards and witches were able to do. Which lead to the only possible answer, the only explanation he had stubbornly refused to believe. _Love_. Harry felt as if a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders and he could breathe easily for the first time in ages. Everything was going to be okay.

Severus was still trying to figure out what Poppy could possibly mean, when Harry suddenly whispered, "Love! Pure, selfless love. Love, so strong and true on both sides that magic will even out between the lovers, mingling and blending making them equal. It is quite rare and - according to the book I read - has not happened in a very long time."

Harry looked up at his husband. Severus just stared at him, his expression warring between disbelief and awe. "Pure love?" he then asked, still unable to comprehend the full meaning of what Harry had just told him.

"Yes, Severus, _true love_." Harry sounded as amazed as Severus felt. "Sweet Merlin, we had the proof of our love for each other right in front of us all the time. We were just too blind to see - _I_ was to blind to see," he then murmured.

Poppy smiled and disappeared with a soft 'pop'. She had the feeling that these two would need some private time to talk and somehow she knew they were finally getting somewhere.

ooOoo

Silence fell over the room and suddenly both wizards were very aware of the fact that they were alone and sitting quite close to each other on the small couch. Severus' nearness was intoxicating and Harry leaned over to kiss him softly.

Severus moaned low in his throat and Harry felt Severus open up to his probing tongue. Severus' strong, warm fingers worked their way through his unruly hair. It was a perfect kiss. When they finally parted, both wizards looked at each other, love clearly written all over their faces.

Finally, Severus spoke, "True love, Harry?" he asked softly. "A bit over the top, don't you think? Something like that could have only happened with you, brat. When is anything ever normal with you?"

Harry looked at him, a shy smile plastered on his face. "Yes, I know, I'm a freak," he said softly. "Will you forgive me anyway, Severus?" he then asked, a bit of uncertainty in his voice.

"Forgive what, Harry? That you did not know how very much I love you? Or your leaving me behind and putting me through hell for the last two weeks?" Severus teased. He felt light headed and happy. Somehow he knew everything would be alright now.

"Both, I suppose," Harry answered, eyes cast downward. "For not realizing that you love me, even though your actions lately showed it as clearly as if you had screamed it form the top of Hogwarts. I just could not believe you would really want me. For the other thing – the leaving you part – if it helps you any, I'll admit that I felt just as miserable being separated from you."

He looked up to see Severus give him one of his rare true smiles.

"So, do you…forgive me?" Harry asked, grinning happily.

Rolling his eyes and sneering at him mockingly, Severus replied, "Of course I forgive you, brat. Don't I always forgive you?"

At his words Harry lunged towards him, toppling both of them over on the couch. Harry came to lie on top of Severus and he used the opportunity to kiss his startled husband senseless. When he came up for air a few moments later, Harry whispered breathlessly, "Gods, how I missed this. It's even better now that I know you love me just as much as I love you."

"Insufferable brat!" Severus muttered, pulling the figure on top of him closer to let Harry feel how aroused he was. "Do you still think we need to get to know each other better again?" he teased, his tone making clear what he thought of that idea. "Because if you do, I'd better leave now, before we do something you are not comfortable with," he added innocently.

Harry moaned. "Don't you dare leave me now, Severus Snape," he hissed before placing feathery kisses along his husband's jaw line. "I still think we should have some time alone together – that is why I hope you will come and live with me from now on. I am not ready yet to go back to Hogwarts, but I want to go to bed with you and wake up with you every day. We have wasted so much time already and I don't want to sleep alone any more. Dumbledore owes us that much – to let you move out for a while. Please, will you consider it?"

Severus sighed, shifting the weight on top of him so that his erection poked into Harry's belly. "Harry, you and Ebony are the most important persons in my life. I would leave Hogwarts completely and move with you to Alaska if that's what you want. So tell me," he broke off grinning up at Harry playfully "if I promise to be home in time for dinner every day, will you stop talking and put that pretty mouth of yours to better use?"

He grinned again and Harry smiled down at him happily. "Let's see if I can guess what you had in mind," he murmured, before with another whispered word, their clothes vanished.

Severus gasped at the sudden skin on skin contact.

With a mischievous smile Harry began to kiss, lick and suck a burning trail over Severus' chest, his tummy and down to his cock. Harry enjoyed the smell and feel of his husband's silken skin.

Severus moaned helplessly. This was heaven – it felt incredible.

"Let's move this to the bedroom", Harry murmured between two kisses on his husbands cock.

"Best plan you had all night!" Severus replied and allowed Harry to help him up.

The couple made their way to the bedroom kissing and touching. When they were finally there, Harry lay back on the huge bed, arms raised to invite his husband in. "Come here, love!" Harry begged. "I want you to make love to me, Severus. I want you to make love to me slowly, all night long. This time I am going to remember every single second of it." Harry smiled as the other man's breath hitched at his words.

In an instant, Severus was on top of Harry, covering his husbands body with his, claiming Harry's lips in a mind blowing kiss.

"You are talking too much, brat," Severus complained mockingly when he came up for air a moment later. "Shut up and let me love you!" With that he slid down Harry's body and took his member into his mouth.

Harry gasped. How had he gone so long without that? It seemed like an eternity, since he had felt Severus' hot lips on his body. With one last clear thought, he shoved a bottle of lube into Severus' direction, who picked it up and grinned. This was going to be so good.

Severus opened the lid of the bottle and coated his fingers with the slippery gel. Lifting up one of Harry's legs and arranging it to his satisfaction, Severus pushed a slick finger into the willing body of his mate.

Harry moaned in pleasure, impaling himself on the invading finger. Severus watched his husband squirming and writhing and smiled. Harry had the most adorable look of passion and lust on his face. Carefully, he added a second finger, searching for the prostate, and Harry moaned again. When Severus brushed over his prostate, Harry shuddered and arched off the bed.

Reluctantly, Severus withdrew his fingers, ignoring the small sounds of protest Harry made. "Harry," he said, trying to get the other man's attention. "Harry, listen to me!" He tried again.

Sighing, Harry willed himself to focus on Severus' words rather than the wonderful sensations rushing through his body. "Yes, Severus?"

"Harry, we need protection this time," Severus said. "As much as I love Ebony, another child so soon is not exactly what we need, so would you please…?"

Harry could have slapped himself for not thinking of it. Severus was right, they really had other things to worry about right now than another child. "Erm, I don't know the proper spell," Harry admitted shyly. He was inexperienced and since he had already been pregnant by the time he found out such a thing was possible, he hadn't looked up on contraceptives.

"That's alright, Harry; I can do the spell. Summon my wand for me?" Severus asked, smiling down on his husband. A moment later the item fell into his outstretched had.

Severus hurried to complete his task and cast the spell, because Harry had begun to move against him impatiently, making it perfectly clear that he wanted Severus to continue.

Oh, and continue he did. Within minutes Harry was writhing and moaning under Severus' administrations, begging to be taken. With a little smile, Severus pushed Harry's legs up to his chest, positioned himself and pushed intoHarry inone slow thrust.

Harry moaned, panting heavily, his body flushed and glistening with sweat. When Severus pulled back and thrust in again with agonizing slowness, Harry wished he had not insisted Severus should take him slowly. Hard and fast seemed to be a so much better idea right now.

"Harder, Sev, please," he begged. "Make love to me hard and fast," he panted, but Severus just smiled and, if possible, slowed his pace even more.

Then, suddenly, something changed. This time both of them felt it when it began. Slowly at first, but then growing in intensity, Severus felt Harry's magic reach out to his, seeping through him, mingling with his, allowing Harry to be flooded with Severus' magic as well.

It became overwhelming when they began reaching out to each other with their magic actively, trying to intensify the feeling of belonging and completeness.

Unable to control himself any longer under this onslaught of emotions, Severus sent both of them over the edge with two hard, deep thrusts.

ooOoo

Panting heavily and grinning like a moron, Harry stammered, "That was…wow…I mean…"

"Coherent as always, Potter," Severus mumbled, before he looked into Harry's eyes and said, "But for once I agree - it was indeed '_wow'_ ".

At this, Harry laughed heartily moving on the huge bed to spoon his body against Severus', and sighed contently.

"You know what?" Harry began after a moment of silence, enjoying the feeling of Severus' hand in his hair, caressing him absentmindedly. "With all we know now about how I got pregnant, do you realize that it would have been possible for me to impregnate you on our wedding night?" Harry smiled a little smile. He liked the thought of Severus carrying their child. "Maybe, when we have sorted out our life, and Ebony is a bit older, we could have a second child then; a child you could carry if you like. It really is a great experience…" He broke off when the hand in his hair stilled and Severus stiffened noticeably.

"What' s the matter, love?" Harry asked, worriedly, trying to turn around to look into Severus' face.

"I…" Severus started, taking a deep breath. He didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to remember, didn't want for Harry to know, but Harry _deserved_ to know. No, _needed_ to know, if they wanted to deal with the consequences together.

Closing his eyes tightly, Severus whispered, "I don't think I will be able to carry our child, Harry. I don't think I will even be able to get pregnant, by you. I was…damaged too much I fear. I am sorry."

"Damaged?" Harry asked, a shiver running down his spine. What did he mean by _damaged_ and why had he sounded like he had wanted to say something else? "I don't understand Severus? What happened to you? Do you mean the Cruciatus? Is it that?"

_It would be so easy to lie to him_, Severus thought. Harry had practically made up the perfect excuse for him, but Severus hesitated. He would tell Harry the truth, no matter how ashamed he was of it.

"I…. I…. no, it was not the Cruciatus. It was the other thing…It was…" Severus broke off. He could not say it, he just could not. Talking about it would bring it all back. It would make him remember what he tried so desperately to forget. The shame, the guilt, the pain – every sickening detail.

"It was what, Severus?" Harry asked, worry clearly audible in his voice. He had managed to turn around to look into Severus' eyes. The devastation he saw in his husbands face made him shiver. Something was going terribly wrong here.

"It was the...sex" Severus finally bit out. He would never be able to call it _rape _no matter how true it was. It would only give those who had done it even more power over him. Rape was not about sex or lust, it was about power and submission. Voldemort had enjoyed seeing Severus submit to whomever he deemed fitting, and many of those had greatly enjoyed having the proud Potions Master at their mercy.

"The sex?" Harry asked, as all the pieces fell into place. He did not like the picture he saw. "He forced you, didn't he?" Harry whispered softly. The way Severus paled even more answered the question for him. Touching his husbands face lightly, Harry felt how cold Severus' skin was, the terror of the past holding him in a tight grip. He did not flinch away, but Harry knew this did not mean anything at all. Severus had probably learned long ago that trying to get away made things worse and, at the moment, Harry doubted it was _him_ his husband was seeing, rather the ghost of some horrible past.

Harry had witnessed enough of Voldemort's raping-sessions through their shared link, to know that the Dark Lord enjoyed his victims to suffer as much as possible. Harry had _not_ known he had done it to his own Death Eaters as well, though it made some perverted sense, as they were his possession to do with as he pleased. Surely Voldemort had enjoyed seeing a proud man like Severus suffer at the hands of those sadistic bastards.

"Oh Severus, I am so sorry," Harry whispered, the 'deer in headlights' look on his husbands face tearing at his heart.

Severus shook his head and wiped a shaking hand over his face. He took a moment to pull himself together before stating in an emotionless voice, "I only got what I deserved. I handed my life over to him on a silver platter, and had to face the consequences of my stupidity. I would understand if you were disgusted by me…" his voice broke and he tried to turn away from Harry's prying eyes.

Harry would have none of it, though. He caught Severus' face in his hands and forced him to maintain eye contact with him. "Severus, I never want to hear you say such a thing ever again, is that understood? No-one deserves to be violated, no matter how misguided their decisions might have been. I do not blame you, Severus, because it was not your fault, and I am certainly _not_ disgusted by you," He stated emphatically.

"How can you not be disgusted by me when I can hardly stand myself?" Severus grit out. "There are times when I feel like I will never get rid of the feel of their hands on my skin, or the smell of them all over me, no matter how often I wash or how hard I try. There is not enough soap in this world to ever make me clean again. Believe me, I tried often enough after those meetings, locking myself in my chambers trying to rid myself of their smell, of their touch. I healed myself as good as I could manage; I was too ashamed to see Poppy or anyone else." Severus' tone was emotionless and distant, like he was feeling nothing at all, but Harry knew he was hurting bad.

"The next day I would pull my "Greasy git Potions Master" persona around me and try to forget what had happened. I never expected for anyone to come close enough to me to discover my secret – but you did. You broke down all my defensive walls and got under my skin. You deserved to know the truth." The last words were barely above a whisper, but Harry heard them nevertheless.

Harry thought about all the times Severus must have come back to Hogwarts hurt, humiliated, lonely. Rage welled up in Harry's chest, anger so overwhelming that it felt like it would choke him. Suddenly it seemed that Voldemort had gotten off way too easy when he, Harry, had killed him. He had deserved to suffer as much as possible before being allowed to die. Voicing his thoughts with barely controlled rage, Harry said, "I wish I had not just killed Voldemort. I wish I could go back and make him suffer for what he did to you. I'd like to give him a taste of his own medicine and torture him until he begs me to kill him and end his misery. Too bad I killed him so quickly. I hope he rots in hell."

Surprised at Harry's outburst and the protectiveness that was lacing the anger audiblye in his husband's voice, Severus just stared at Harry. He did not doubt the sincerity of any of Harry's words – not for one second. Warmth spread through Severus' body, chasing away the cold he had felt mere minutes ago. Here, in bed with him, was the most gorgeous man he could imagine, who also happened to be the most powerful wizard of their time, and he was in love with _him_. A greasy old Potions Master, a Death Eater turned spy, someone many deemed not worthy of anything, let alone the love of their savior. This man was worried about _him_, he cared for him, when no-one ever had. Severus did not know why he had been given such a precious gift, but he would cherish it nevertheless.

Meanwhile, Harry's thoughts had drifted off into another direction. Images of their wedding night came to his mind and he winced at the memory of how the night had gone. The way he had demanded to take Severus in _that_ position, the way Severus had tensed and shuddered when he had touched him and how he, Harry, had dismissed it as a problem with giving up control. But worst, the cowardly way he had lied to Severus afterwards, making him feel as if he was just a good shag for him and their lovemaking had meant nothing at all.

Groaning slightly, Harry closed his eyes for a brief moment before he whispered, "I owe you an apology, Severus. I should have treated you better on our wedding night. I was so afraid to look you in the eyes during our lovemaking that I forced you into an uncomfortable position even though you were obviously having problems with it." He avoided looking at Severus, too ashamed of his own actions. "I apologize for that, Severus, and I apologize that I lied to you afterwards. Surely you have guessed by now that I _did_ indeed say, that I love you, but I was too cowardly to admit it to you. I am truly sorry, Severus."

Smiling at his husband lovingly, Severus reached over and tilted Harry's chin up, so the young man had to look at him. "I don't blame you, Harry. You couldn't possibly have known about my past and to be totally honest, I did enjoy the experience with you. It was so totally different form what I had suffered before and I thank you for being so gentle. Though, I have to admit, the next time I allow you to top, I'd rather face you, so I can see your amazing eyes."

Harry gasped, "You are actually saying you would want to do that again? I mean… you don't have to if you feel uncomfortable with it, you know that, right?" he asked.

"Yes, Harry, I do know that. I still want to give it a try sometime. It won't be easy at first and you will need to be patient, but I trust you, Harry. I believe that we can face this together, now that we don't have to doubt each others love any more." He smiled at the dumbfounded look on Harry's face.

"Thank you!" Harry finally whispered, obviously moved. "Thank you for your love and trust." He kissed Severus lightly on the lips, relieved that he seemed to have warmed up again. Then his face was serious again, and addressing his husband one more time, Harry said, "Severus, I know this is much to ask for, and you don't have to agree right now, but I want you to consider it, okay? I think we should talk about this again sometime soon, in fact, maybe even more than once. Really, Severus, you have to stop blaming yourself. You need someone you can talk to about what happened and I think you should tell Poppy as well. There is nothing you have done wrong, nothing to be ashamed of, and she really should know. Maybe she can even do something about the "damage" you were referring to earlier. I am not asking this of you so you can get pregnant by me or anything, it is just…if I am going to make love to you again, I want to be sure I am not hurting you in any way, okay? Will you consider it, please?"

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Severus just nodded. He did not trust his voice because he was terrified of the things Harry had suggested. He did see sense in them, though, so he would try to go through with it. At least he knew Harry would be there with him all the way and he would not have to do it on his own. He would never have to be alone any more, he realized - he had a family now, he was loved.

That was the most comforting thought Severus Snape, greasy Potions Master, ex-Death Eater turned spy, and husband of Harry Potter-Snape had had in a very long time.


	20. Ever after

**Chapter 20: Ever after**

_Epilogue:_ _Ten years later_

The first thing Severus Snape recognized when he entered their quarters was the fact that it was silent – way too silent. One of the things he had learned over time, was that with two children _silence_ usually meant some sort of trouble. Children were never silent except when they were up to something or sound asleep.

"Harry? Ebony? Aiden?" he called out, walking into the living room in search of his family. All he wanted to do after a long and tiring day of teaching dunderheads was get rid of his robes and have a nice glass of wine in front of the fire. His plans however had _not_ included dealing with two boisterous little pranksters who were up to something – that was Harry's job for today, since he was the one to come 'home' first.

Severus was about to head over to the children's rooms when two dark haired heads appeared in the doorframe, followed by the rest of the broadly smiling children. "We are here Papa!" Aiden announced, trying to hug his father.

Severus leaned down to embrace first his son and then his daughter. "Where is your dad and what were you just doing?" Severus asked Ebony suspiciously. Harry had had his last DADA class over an hour ago and should be in their rooms. The rooms they had gotten back when he, Ebony and Harry had returned to Hogwarts. It had all looked the same as before they left – or well, mostly. The nursery had been turned into a bedroom for the by then almost three year old Ebony and when Aiden had been born about two years later, a new room for him had shown up out of nowhere.

So, here they were, living at Hogwarts, on the same floor as the Weasley-Granger family. Hermione Granger-Weasley taught Ancient Runes and Ron Weasley became the new flight instructor after Madame Hooch retired. Their son, Matthew Alexander, was almost nine and even though he was as much a Gryffindor as Ebony was Slytherin, those two children were good friends. Ileanna Jane Weasley was the same age as Aiden and had inherited her mothers intelligence, a fact that Severus was eternally grateful for – it made her the perfect company for his son.

"Dad went to see auntie Mione in her classroom, but he said he would be back in a few minutes. We were in my room reading," Ebony answered her fathers question, an innocent tone in her voice.

A bit too innocently for Severus' taste. He could have sworn they were up to something and usually, he was right.

"What were you reading?" he decided to ask. There were no dangerous books where the children could reach them, but with children as powerful as these, one could never be sure they had not at least tried to reach them.

"Well, of course we were reading a _book_ Papa!" Ebony announced, the slight sarcasm in her voice so much like his own, Severus realized. Cheeky brat.

Before Severus could question his daughter further, five year old Aiden pulled on his robes to get his attention. "Papa, we were in Grandpa Albus' office and he let me try on the speaking hat. It said it already knew where to put me, but didn't tell me. How long 'till I can go to school, too?"

Severus sighed lightly and bent down to look his son in the eyes. He knew Aiden was jealous that Ebony would start her education at Hogwarts soon, and she was already being tutored. Aiden was a curious child with a great love for books, science and everything that involved structured work. How he and Harry had managed to make such a Ravenclaw child was beyond Severus, but he did not complain, because his son had inherited his love for potions as well.

Taking his son's hands in his own, Severus said, "You are still much too young, Aiden. I am sorry, love, but you will have to wait a few more years. How about we talk to your teacher and see if a few children from the higher years would like to work with you in your school in Hogsmeade? You could take part in some sort of science project next year. How does that sound? And since you are reading so well by now, I could talk to Madame Pince to let you borrow books that are suitable for children of you age, alright?"

When his son nodded at him happily, Severus rose to look at his daughter again. "Now, Ebony, tell me what _book_ you were reading earlier."

"Erm, something Grandpa Albus gave us," Ebony replied vaguely. _Uh-oh, wrong answer…_she thought when she saw the stern look upon her father's face.

"Please go and get this book," Severus said, leaving no room for objection. Only Merlin knew what sort of book the old fool had given to his children. It had taken long enough for them to get on good terms again, but Albus had never truly regained his and Harry's full trust.

"Yes, Papa." Ebony answered and left to do as she had been asked. She came back a moment later, holding out the book to her father.

He thanked her and took it, almost expecting the worst. A puzzled look rushed over Severus' face when he saw the title. It was a rather harmless book about some short acting glamours, usually used to add a special touch to a Halloween costume or to change appearance slightly for an hour or two. Nothing overly dramatic. Ebony knew many of these spells already.

"Why would Albus give you such a book?" he asked, clearly confused.

"Because we asked for it," Ebony offered.

Praying for patience Severus asked his daughter, "And why, pray tell, would you ask for such a book, Ebony?"

The girl shot her brother a quick look, leaning over to him to whisper in Parsletongue, "_See, I knew he would never understand it_. He _didn't see daddy glow…_

"Stop that this instant!" Severus snapped, startling the children who separated immediately. "Ebony, you know the rules about speaking Parsletongue when Harry is not around. I can't understand you, as you know, and I will not tolerate you breaking the rules! Disobey me again and there will be no Quidditch for you for a week. Is that understood?" He asked sternly.

"Yes, Papa," Ebony answered, looking guilty. She knew better than to talk back to her father.

"So, now tell me what this is all about. Were you planning some sort of prank?" Severus demanded to know.

"No, Papa," she said sincerely. "We…we were trying to find out…" she murmured hesitantly, looking over to her brother again. "We were trying to find out why daddy is glowing!" she finally stated.

"Pardon me? Could you repeat that?" Severus looked at her in disbelief

"We wanted to know why daddy glows," Ebony repeated obediently. She knew her father had no idea what she was talking about. He had obviously not noticed the change in her daddy's magic, the glittering, shimmering aura that had shown up out of nowhere two days ago.

Her thoughts were interrupted, when her father asked, "What do you mean, he glows?" Fear rose in Severus' chest. Had something happened to Harry? Had he been cursed or hexed during one of the lessons?

Severus was about to question his daughter further, when the person in question entered the room.

"Oh, here you are," Harry greeted. "I was beginning to worry…" Then he saw the serious look on Severus face and asked, "What's the matter? What's going on?" He had been gone only for a few minutes, the children safely in Ebony's room when he'd left. Now Severus looked worried and pale and Ebony and Aiden looked confused and insecure. What could have happened in those few minutes?

Severus looked his husband up and down twice and when he could find nothing amiss, he answered, "Well, our daughter claims you 'glow'," the tone of his voice indicating what he thought of that statement.

"I'm 'glowing'?" Harry looked from Severus to Ebony, clearly confused. What was this all about?

"Yes, you do, Daddy!" Aiden insisted, deciding to support his sister. He threw a glance at Harry before he turned to Severus, looking him in the eyes. "Can't you see it, Papa? It's right there!" he pointed at Harry's abdomen. "It is sparkling and glittering golden. Daddy's tummy _glows_."

This time, Harry and Severus exchanged a look, disbelief clearly written on both of their faces. "No…" Harry whispered, shaking his head slightly, but a small, tentative grin spread over his face. "That's impossible, isn't it?" he asked no one in particular, placing a hand over his belly.

"Impossible – no, nothing is impossible with you Harry. I learned that a long time ago. Maybe you should go and let Poppy have a look at you, brat," he murmured, the endearment he rarely used in front of the children slipping out involuntarily.

"So you really think I'm…" Harry whispered, remembering last time they made love, three long days ago. They had been in the bath tub, enjoying their time alone. Harry tried to recall if they had used a contraceptive spell, but couldn't remember.

"Is daddy sick?" Aiden asked, fear audible in his vice. He had moved closer to Severus, clinging to his robes now.

"No, love, daddy is not sick, but he still has to see Poppy for a moment. It is nothing you need to worry about, really," Severus assured his frightened son, picking him up from the floor for a moment despite the fact that he was too big to be carried around. "Why don't you and Ebony go back to Ebony's room and read a bit more, while I will tell Dobby that we wish to have dinner in our quarters today. Alright?"

"Sure, Papa," Ebony agreed, taking her bother by the hand. "Come, Aiden, I want to show you something," She announced and they ran off to her room.

ooOoo

"Congratulations Harry, you are indeed pregnant again," Poppy announced 15 minutes later. Then she looked at the results again and asked, "How did you know so early? It's only a few days since you concieved and you shouldn't have any symptoms just yet. Are you not feeling well?" Concern laced her cheerful tone.

"No, I feel perfectly fine, Poppy, thanks," Harry assured her. "It wasn't me who discovered I was pregnant, but our lovely children. They claimed that their daddy 'glows'. Seems like those two could see the change in my magic. Severus was rather perplexed, to say the least." He smiled a happy little smile.

"Yes, I bet so," Poppy murmured, looking down at Harry fondly. Ever since Harry had become pregnant the first time and had left the wizarding world after Ebony's birth, she had taken on caring for him and his family in a very special way. She had not only been responsible for the check up's during and after Ebony's birth on both of them, she also had cared for Severus after they had talked about his past with the Death Eaters. It had horrified her how much Severus had been hurt, both physically and mentally and she had done everything possible to help the persons she considered her closest friends.

It had been she, who had tended to Severus' old wounds, trying her best to repair the damage done, while not traumatizing him any more. It had been she, who had told them not to expect too much when it came to the question if Severus would be able to ever get pregnant; his internal wounds had been deep and were scared over many times. Finally, she had been the one to have the honor of telling them that the unexpected had happened and Severus was indeed pregnant. Aiden was on his way.

Of course, the little family had long since returned to Hogwarts by the time Aiden was born and so caring for two grown, yet stubborn wizards, a toddler and a newborn had been slightly easier. And now, she was once again the one to deliver happy news – Harry was pregnant again.

A small smile crept up her face and she addressed Harry softly, "Who would have thought everything would turn out like this? I was so worried about you two and the way you started your relationship, I can't begin to describe how glad I am everything turned out nicely in the end. You deserve to be happy after all the things you two had to go through." She paused, lost in thought. When Harry finally rose from the bed, she handed him his shirt, saying, "Off you go and tell your family about the good news. I'm sure they will be thrilled."

"So am I." Harry grinned, putting on his shirt again and fixing his robes. He was excited to get back to Severus and the children to tell them about the new baby. Oh, and, of course, he would have to tell Albus soon, so the curriculum could be re-arranged to not endanger the new life growing inside him. He never wanted to fear for the life of one of his children ever again.

Thanking Poppy and hugging her tight before he left, Harry made his way back to their quarters, imagining what Severus' reaction might be like. Even tough they had never talked about having more children, Harry knew Severus would be overjoyed as well. Harry grinned when he realized that it was, yet again, five years, between the birth of Aiden and the child he was expecting now.

ooOoo

When Harry came back from his visit to Poppy, Severus was awaiting him impatiently. As soon as Harry stepped into the living room, Severus got up from where he had been sitting and rushed to his husbands side. "What did she say?" he asked, but when he saw the bright smile on Harry's face, he had his answer; Harry didn't even need to say it.

Severus took his husband in his arms, hugging him tightly, tears of joy coming to his eyes. "A baby," he whispered, and Harry answered, "Yes love, a baby. I'm pregnant again!" Then he sealed Severus' mouth with a kiss. When they broke apart, Harry snuggled his face into the crook of Severus' neck, murmuring, "We should tell them after dinner. I'm starving."

Severus chuckled at the endearing look on Harry's face. He moved his hand to lie on his husbands still flat stomach, murmuring, "Well, then let's feed you two," before claiming Harry's mouth in a soft kiss.

ooOoo

An hour later found all Potter-Snapes on the couch in the living room, an album with moving pictures in it between them.

"What's that, daddy?" Aiden asked pointing at a picture that showed a much younger Ebony jumping around in the snow. In the background a huge snowman could be seen that was waving into the camera.

"That, Aiden, was the winter Ebony took the Muggle song 'Frosty the snowman' a bit too literally and decided to animate the snowman she and your daddy had made," Severus explained dryly.

Aiden looked fascinated.

"I was hardly the first child to try such a thing at Hogwarts, was I father?" Ebony tried to argue.

"No, you were not," Severus agreed. "_But_," he empathised, "The others who tried – and without much success I might add – were students here and not five-year-olds who got a little carried away."

Harry just smiled and listened to the conversation. He noticed the gleam in Aiden's eyes, when the boy spoke, "She did that when she was my age? Wow!" he squealed excitedly.

"Yes, she did," Harry confirmed, still smiling. Ebony had done a lot of things like that at his age. He wouldn't tell Aiden about that, though.

"Where were you then, father?" Aiden asked curiously, his black eyes fixed on Severus. "Did you take the photo?"

"No, I was not out in the snow at that time, Aiden. I was seven months pregnant when this photo was taken and I didn't want to take any risk hurting you or myself for that matter," Severus replied.

Aiden squealed with delight at that statement. "Ohh!" Can we see pictures of you with the baby-belly? Please?" He gave his parents his best puppy dog look and Ebony joined in, "Oh, yes, please, father! There are so few pictures of daddy when he was pregnant with me. Surely there must be some of you being pregnant with Aiden."

Severus sighed. "Yes, unfortunately there are, thanks to your dad. He insisted on taking photos of me all the time. It's embarrassing, really. I was looking rather ridiculous…"

"No you were not!" Harry interrupted. "You were looking quite cute waddling around eight months preggers." He grinned and then smiled at his husband lovingly.

"I am _never_ cute," Severus replied, attempting to snarl but failing miserably. "Just you wait until…" he began, but broke off before he could reveal too much. Maybe this was the right time to speak about the new baby.

He looked over at Harry for agreement and when his husband nodded slightly he said, "Children, we have something to tell you."

At that Ebony and Aiden looked at their father expectantly.

"We told you already that it is not a sickness, and Poppy did confirm it, but we should tell you _what_ it is that makes your daddy 'glow'." Severus elaborated and he could see the curiosity and the excitement in their children's eyes. "The reason for the change in his magic is that he is pregnant again. We are going to have another baby," He explained.

After a moment of shocked silence, Ebony looked at Harry with awe. "Daddy?" she asked, wonder in her tone.

"Yes, Ebony," Harry confirmed. "It's true. You are going to have a brother or sister."

"A baby!" Aiden squealed and jumped on Harry's lap, hugging him tight.

"Aiden, Aiden, slowly!" Harry protested softly, grinning at his son. "I'm sure your unborn sibling would appreciate it if you wouldn't jump around so much in my lap, jiggling him or her around."

Aiden paled. "Did I hurt the baby?" he asked guiltily.

"No, no honey, you didn't, but you should be a bit more careful from now on, ok?"

Aiden nodded obediently and Severus smiled at his son's serious face.

"Because when the baby grows it could become upset about being jiggled too hard and then it will kick me. Ebony used to kick me a lot when she was not comfy, and Severus told me countless times you were keeping him awake all night by playing football with his kidneys," Harry said, smiling slightly at the memory.

At that the children giggled and Severus snorted. "Not funny, Imp!" he murmured and lifted Aiden off Harry's lap. Seeing Harry cover his belly with his hand, the memories of the moment _he_, had realized he was pregnant, all these years ago, came to life.

**Flashback:**

_Severus stirred the potion three times clockwise and two times counter clockwise before he leaned over to grab the phial of phoenix tears. The steam coming off the cauldron touched his face and suddenly he was overwhelmed by nausea. The world began to spin around him when another wave of the foul smelling cloud hit him; stumbling, he took a step back before he could steady himself by grabbing the edge of his desk. _

_What the hell was wrong with him? Could it be he had caught wizard's flu even though he had taken the proper antidote already? Maybe the virus had mutated and the potion had not worked properly? He had felt somehow **off** for days now but had refused to go and see Poppy because of something so banal as an upset stomach. **This** however was something completely different. It had never happened before that he had felt sick and dizzy from the fumes of a potion alone._

_Deciding to talk to Harry about it, he put a stasis charm on his potion, while carefully avoiding the fumes, before he headed for their rooms. It was late so Ebony was in bed already and Harry was at his desk, grading papers. He looked up surprised, when he saw Severus enter the room. _

_A worried look crossed Harry's face when he realized that his husband was even more pale than usual and looked quite shaken. "Severus, are you alright?" he got up and rushed over to his partner. "Tell me what's wrong. You look like you are about to collapse."_

"_I feel dizzy," Severus admitted, grabbing Harry's arm for support. "I seem to have caught the flu, because the fumes of my potion just made me feel sick."_

_Harry looked worriedly at the man he loved, helping him to sit down on the couch. "Severus, I better get Poppy to check on you. She'll know what to do and will also make sure you don't pass on to Ebony whatever bug you caught." With that he went over to the fireplace, threw a hand of floo power in and called, "Poppy Pomfey's office"._

_A moment later, the medi-witch stepped into the room and ordered Severus to lie down right were he was. She knew Severus hated the infirmary and if it was something serious, she could still bring him there later. Sighing, she ran several diagnostic spells over him. By now she was used to the fact that someone in the Potter-Snape family always seemed to be in need of her services. Seeing the results though, Poppy suddenly looked up into Harry's eyes, a bright smile lighting up her face._

_Harry frowned. "What's the matter? Why are you smiling? What is it? I get it it's nothing dangerous then?" Harry asked even before the medi-witch could explain herself._

"_No, Harry, it is nothing dangerous – unless you would call a baby dangerous," she answered. _

"_A baby?" Harry and Severus asked in unison. Surprise and disbelief clearly audible in their voices._

"_Yes, Severus, you are really pregnant. Congratulations, you two." Poppy beamed at them._

"_Severus," Harry whispered, having recovered from the shock first. He dropped to his knees beside the couch his husband was lying on and kissed him softly. "Severus it really happened. You're pregnant. We're going to have another baby."_

Severus came out of his memories when his husband touched his hand, moving it to lie on his still flat belly, smiling at him lovingly. Severus couldn't wait until he would be able to feel his child move inside of Harry for the first time.

ooOoo

That evening Harry and Severus lay in their bed, snuggled together when Harry whispered, "You know what I realized earlier, love? It's been five years again - since we had Aiden. It's as if we had planned it."

Severus smiled, rubbing little circles on his husband's belly. "It was fate, Harry. If I have learned one thing during my time with you, it is that what is supposed to happen, will happen. And on top of that, usually you are in the middle of the worst trouble, my brat. Just remember what our love survived: meddling friends, unexpected pregnancies, bad press, you locking me out of our bedroom and leaving me," he teased and Harry slapped his arm in a playful manner.

"Not that again, Severus. I apologized for that often enough. You know I just locked you out because I thought that was what you wanted. I wanted to signal you that I was sticking to our 'no sex' agreement…"

"Your _rule_ you mean," Severus interrupted, the memory of their forced time apart not forgotten. It didn't hurt any more, though, and now it was a constant joke between them.

"Alright, I admit it, but I suffered as much as you while we were apart. I _still_ suffer whenever I can't be near you and you know it," Harry replied snuggling against Severus as if to confirm his words.

"Oh, then I will have to make sure that I am always close to you," Severus murmured. "Very close." He shifted his position, poking his erection into his husbands thigh.

"Yes!" Harry hissed in a husky voice, pressing himself closer to Severus. "As close as possible, love." He encouraged. "Preferably inside me."

"You are insatiable!" Severus chided mockingly, reaching down between Harry's legs.

To read the sex please head over to either my LJ, my yahoogroup (see userinfo), orforeverfandom, since garphic scenes ar not allowed here.

"That was wonderful, love," Harry murmured dreamily and Severus smiled a little smile before he reached for the blanket to cover their cooling bodies with it.

"I promised I'd make it good for you, remember?" Severus answered, brushing his lips over Harry's in a gesture of tenderness. "I always try to keep my promises."

"Yes, I know," Harry replied, looking up to the man he loved. He was silent for a moment before he added thoughtfully, "And you love me."

"Of course I do," Severus agreed softly.

Shaking his head slightly, Harry elaborated, "No,…yes, I mean, I know of course that you love me, it's just that…I realized, that for me to become pregnant _again_ it still needs to be," he hesitated once more "_unconditional love_."

"And that surprises you, Harry?" Severus asked, looking in the eyes of the man he had fallen for such a long time ago. "Then let me tell you something, brat. There is only _one_ way I know to love you, and that is with all my heart and soul. I don't expect it to change – ever." With that he kissed the tip of Harry's nose.

Harry smiled up at him, tears of joy forming in his eyes. "Good," he whispered hoarsely. "Because that's the only way I know as well."

The end


End file.
